I'M A CHARITABLE GUY; I ROOT FOR THE UNDERDOG. I love those rags-to-riches stories and I openly applaud creative thought and new things. Settling for the old guard and abandoning the idea of trying revolutionary content is against my religion.
That said and all, I recently watched, (more like, invested) a good chunk of time and effort (effort, because I knew in my heart that I would seriously hate, despise, severely loathe, use whatever phrase you like) this show, this adventure, called "Warriors Outsiders" on NBC Sports Bay Area.
I tried, seriously, please, give me credit for actually wanting to watch this tripe I had contempt for to begin with (without, yes, not even seeing it but I have tremendous intuition in projects like this) --somehow, someway, I would be wrong and that :Outsiders (Drew Shiller and Grant Liffmann, co-conspirators, pictured) would be plausibly awful and just slightly terrible) but I was wrong. How dare I even think that this hilariously bad video tofu would be merely uber-suckitis when it was so bad it was bad. I mean, bad, dude.
This is the Bay Area. We, theoretically at least, are supposed to have taste and possess strong virtue be it sports, culture, or news. Even in these bloated marginalized times you would think a bigtime player like NBC and its cable sports partners would be able to submit at least half-wit content and cable shit even if that content (filler programming, really) happens to be subsidized by a formidable partner like the Golden State Warriors who I guess gave the OK to this unmitigated bullshit because, well, it's their party and they'll cry if they want to. When you yourself get bloated and big like the Warriors are, then you allow 'Outsiders' and just hope they spread the brand and nobody gets hurt or offended.
There is plenty to offend if you watch Outsiders which if you do after a mere sniff, you need and deserve severe mental help and therapy immediately. A red button that connects Napa State hospital should be set up right away on your couch and your relatives should be informed of your sickness and deprivation. You are not allowed to walk the streets without a medical doctor monitoring your activity if you make it a point to observe Outsiders, so perilous and fragile is your mental state and capacity.
I could imagine if I was back at my high school watching Professor Kepler teaching all of us would- be television stars, future Rupert Pupkins, Boise sports anchors, Reggie Aqui, and the like, about projects. The 'Outsiders" remind me of this. The Outsiders look like a bad SNL skit performed by some after-work PTA parents' glee club in Plano, Texas.
The hosts here are supposed to look hip and gritty; have that wayward, non-garden-variety appearance of 'cool dudes' who thwart authority and get the inside dope, aka: Outsiders. Get it? NBC Sports Bay Area thought it would be really, radical, dude, that these two carcasses would hold us for multiple minutes. They'd be funny and interesting, slightly off base and entertaining. Sure, if you like making love to an aardvark.
Only Mr. Shiller, Killer, Miller, whatever his name and Liffman, Kiffmann, whatever, are not interesting. Nor gritty. Outsiders, Insiders, they are not worthy. And for guys looking like they're supposedly cool, in reality, they look like a couple of bartenders at a South of Market after-hour club, decidedly un-hip and ungodly boring and destitute. In practical life, real assholes that score the drunk yuppie blond only when she regained her sobriety, told the dual assholes to take a hike and called her girlfriend to pick her up.
Yes, I'm hard on Outsiders. It isn't the fault of the double dudes NBC Sports BA put out an on-line ad for their project and decided on these two because the Fremont YMCA managers (Skip Doofus and Shep Budle) were not equipped after the first tryout. You would think Outsiders possess more street cred and viability but no sir.
Look, obviously I haven't gone into the details of what Outsiders is/was/willing to be. Why waste your time. It's a program devoid of specifics and only something, maybe, the booster club would like but I'd like to think the Warriors' fans have more taste and are more critical thinkers but I could be wrong here. Maybe I'm being hard, it happens from time to time.
Outsiders has a good ring to it and could possibly be a quarter educational. Drew and Grant could go to the bar at Chase Center with a fifty and see if they could buy two beers and have change left. Instead they volley for Draymond Green's sneakers and think it's positively hilarious --not exactly the drill but you get my drift.
Excuse me as it's time to circumvent life and detoxify myself from having committed any more thought or time to Outsiders. I need something stiff and strong, please help my cause.
