Sweeps Coming; A Few Questions; Wednesday Fresh Opener

WILL DARYA EAT MORE BANANAS?!

*Will Claudine Wong smile for more than a few seconds?

*Will Bill Martin give a coherent weather forecast for a change?

*Will Frank Somerville comment on his sudden interest in Persian cologne?

*Will Aaron Pero have some reporter come into his office and start yelling and screaming in Spanish?

*Will Mark Ibanez do the sports in his shorts again? This time, en fuego.

*Will Allen Martin show his usual wacky facial quirks upon reading a story about a woman in Berkeley who likes to wave her hands to motorists wearing only a thong bikini?

*Will Wayne Freedman show us his 67 Emmy statues in his garage near the freezer?

*Will Spencer Christian put an over/under on the number of times he says, "uh" during 6 PM weathercast?

*Will Da Lin do a stand-up live shot from Walnut Creek fountain dressed in clown suit?

*Will Julie Haener show her facial "concerned mother/housewife look" when Frank does a throw after reporting about the woman in Berkeley?

*Will Mark Thompson show up at KRON and do a special report on men who have hair plugs?

*Will Melanie Woodrow report on women in TV news who think "Play Misty For Me" was a masterpiece?

*Will Sal Castaneda abruptly stop his traffic report on a Friday and begin doing the macarena?

*Will Dennis O'Donnell tell the Bay Area his real wife is Norah O'Donnell?

*Will Ibanez stop the presses and end the sportscast with stunning summation to Somerville:

"You know, I know Ron Burgundy; he's a good friend of mine; you're no Ron Burgundy!"

*Will Amber Lee begin her live shot from Pacifica with this " Frank, before I do my report, I noticed a lot of mist on our windshield."