Monday, June 4, 2018

A Fractured Mind Description; First Person...But First: Monday Mundane; 'PIX Nor Cal Emmy Heist; Do Emmys Mean Anything Anymore? Old KRON Reunion

Image result for Oakland Bay Area MONDAY MUNDANE...yeah, over the weekend KPIX5 was going completely berserk over their Nor Cal Emmy heist --Sorry, but I don't pay much attention to awards where in order to receive one, you have to pay for it. Harsh? Maybe but in-house, shop-talk bravado doesn't move me then again I'm hard to move. When I see good work I'll mention it. I don't need a manufactured award to elicit interest.

*KPIX5: all those Emmys and last place finishes in ALL newscasts during Sweeps which will tell you what management thinks of awards versus ratings. Oh, and all this great work; reporters winning all these awards and then, suddenly out of the blue, the News Director decides he's retiring. Yeah, and I'm sure he wants to spend more time with the family. Maybe he's thought about being able to enjoy sculping now.

*Wayne Freedman, who I think has over 60 Emmys is so fond of his awards he stuck most of them in his garage.

*By the way, Emmys, even in their golden years, were nothing more than industry ego-satisfaction run amok; viewers don't care about awards as much as the recipients do. Another cold, hard fact.

Image result for 2018 KPIX Nor Cal Emmys*I consider myself a progressive man; a free thinker not beholden to any party nor influenced by what is politically correct and what is not; I can have an opinion on some issue and if it's unpopular I'll still stick with my feelings.

Case in point, KTVU, this past week pairing Heather Holmes and Julie Haener together; I have my issues with Holmes and I think Haener, as good as she is, is slightly overrated but that's not why I bring them up in this case.

I've always heard you CANNOT pair Two Male Anchors together, never! Particularly, two white males, it's local TV News heresy yet it's OK to pair two white, blond women anchors? I only bring it up because of the hypocrisy of being supposedly gender neutral. Yeah, sure, what BS. Had KTVU paired, say, Mike Mibach and Alex Savidge, for example, we'd have never heard the end of it.

Image result for KRON SF Reunion
The 2018 KRON Reunion
*The old KRON folks had a reunion the other night in the city and a few strong drinks and spicy food broke up what was told to me a chummy gathering of friends that waxed poetically about the good, old days. Coincidently, one notable producer was not invited to the gala nor a certain famous, high-profile sportscaster still working at the new KRON. Nor a certain blogger who wrote about various misgivings but overall had a warm memory of the original KRONvicts. It's just as well, I'd have been more happy with a French Dip at Tommy's Joynt, scene of the very best KRON human foibles way back when.

Image result for rita channon san francisco*So where was Rita Channon? Just wondering, because it would have been a nice touch, KRONvicts.

*Not a word about the late Pete Liebengood, who worked sports on the weekend and co-hosted "Sports Final". Humn.

*A fractured mind creates static and chaos in the body and allows mass depression to invade an otherwise, lousy, catastrophic life. It lingers in the heart and makes possible even on sunny days, miserable feelings of loss and rejection. It pains the soul and is fraught with anger, resentment, terminal jadedness and sadness you cannot fathom because the pain is so intense and unforgiving. You do your best to try to wade through it but it traps you like tentacles of an octopus about to pounce on its prey.

Dark days become the normal and crying fits out of nowhere become the norm. The pain, again, is enormous and the idea of waking up and getting out of bed becomes a monumental chore. You try to make it outside in public and worry greatly if you suddenly break down and begin crying and becoming embarrassed and try diligently to hide your face. You suddenly get sad at various scenes of elderly mothers and family bonding together at lunch. You wish you could keep it together but the force of extreme sadness and morose; depression, takes over and you break down and have to deal with it again and again. It has no mercy. It makes you feel like saying crazy things like, "If their were a god, would god allow this to happen?" You dread then going out because you're afraid you'll really lose it. Happy families make things worse because, selfishly, maybe, you remember the days of your own happy family and yearn for that time. You're ALONE now. You really can't bear life and often have thoughts that defy logic but they're there. You see professionals and they give you advice but just accomplishing a trifle is too difficult and you feel you're being taken in like the octopuses tentacles. Survival never seemed so difficult and dealing with life was never this hard; your so-called friends disappeared when you needed them the most. Especially those who told you to call anytime day or night and then suddenly were out of sight. Suddenly, life was unbearable and too fragile to comprehend. You were fraught with considering the unthinkable and cried out for help but nobody paid attention. Maybe this was a breaking point and really, how could it be? Was it so bad, so helpless that you had to think about your own mortality? Seriously now, was it really that bad?

A fractured mind is the worst. It does bad things to good people and even bad people with good intentions. It belittles your very existence. It makes you feel squeezed in and levels pain darts you've never experienced until you've experienced this pain. You just hope to get through it.

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  1. Looks like no Catherine Heenan or Henry Tenenbaum as well. I'd pass!

  2. I am not sure you can credibly refer what Gary does at KRON as work.

  3. The perfect example of the death of local TV journalism...during the death segment at the Emmy awards they misspelled Van Amburg's last name as "Van Amberg." Fred is dead.

  4. I'm missing Shue on KGO.

    1. And somebody's missing a jacket.

    2. @ 2:11pm -- I agree. I thought it very sad that with little opportunity to explain himself Shuman was discharged. Especially sad seeing him with his good friend #87 on KGO's pieces about Clark's death and NO mention of Shuman. I still don't get it. was this really about the players not liking him for some reason ???

  5. I realize this is contrary to your narrative, but you have given Rosenheim credit. To survive as a news director in any market for 18 years is phenomenal and not worthy of scorn.

  6. Is that Valerie Coleman next to Pam Moore?!? I forgot she was on KRON, remember her from KGO...

  7. If you don't contemplate your own mortality, you aren't a thinker. Don't get sucked into the trendy "depression" diagnosis. the National Institutes of Health estimates that 60% of those with a diagnosis of "depression", have no such thing. The test for depression is simple. If you say you have ever contemplated offing yourself, bingo, you've got your diagnosis and a bunch of scripts for drugs which you can sell on the street for a profit. There is no chemical assay or scientific test for "depression'.Life is real. Life is earnest. Everybody dies. Much of life is depressing. That doesn't give you the actual mental illness of "depression". Don't be trendy. Just say no. Take up some physical exercise like biking or swimming to assuage your demons, and extend your life.

    1. @4:57 This sounds like you invalidated Rich. I agree that exercise, healthy diet, rest, etc. is all wonderful (for everyone).

      What I do not agree with is the trivialization of this and other illnesses. Unless he has shown you his medical records, or better yet, until you have walked in his shoes, please refrain from judging, and lumping Rich, and anyone else into a "trendy" bucket.

      I hope one would not accuse people with Cancer, HIV-AIDS, Parkinson's, etc. of being "trendy".

      Just because it's not a tumor [*insert Schwarzenegger's "Not a toomuh!" here*], does not mean it is not real, or that it's somehow imagined.

      It takes a lot for a person to publicly admit they are going through depression as well as trying to live every day. Also, depression can often have co-morbidities (OCD, schizoid affective, etc.), unless it's situational depression; there are many types of depression, and there are genetic and environmental factors as well.

      Again, I agree with the healthy steps we all can take help. I just don't see it as helpful the way it was expressed.

      If only it were that simple as riding a bike, swimming or just saying no.

  8. Oh Rich, my heart breaks for you today as I read your blog. I would so much like to say something to bring comfort, but I don't want to minimize your pain in any way.

    My mom died 3 months ago. I thought I was prepared...she was 75, and suffering from congestive heart failure, but when the inevitable happened it was almost more than I could bear.

    I have found solace in showing love to the people around me, getting outside at least a little bit every day (we live in such a beautiful place)and most importantly knowing that my mom would not want me to be living in darkness. She would not want me to be suffering. I go on knowing that I carry her spirit with me.

    Our wounds are still very fresh for you and me. Please be gentle with yourself and know it will get better

  9. I will gladly pay my own entry fee for an Emmy if it meant a better chance of getting the hell outta 'PIX.

    Sign me for me (Pedro)

  10. I can relate to everything you described in the fractured mind. I am going through some of it right now, and have been for months. Many of us understand this pain, even if most are afraid to admit it. The ones who mock, are the most afraid. You're not alone.

  11. yeah, never take drugs for anything. drugs are poison. they are against life.

    1. That is simply not true. There are many people with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, ADHD (adults and teenagers, not bouncy little children), and people with crippling anxiety and depression, who would not even be able to function in society without "drugs." I agree they are overprescribed, especially to children, and people should try changing diet, exercise, sleep habits, and other forms of therapy before jumping into a prescription, but that kind of blanket statement causes the stigma and shame that leads to anguish, alcoholism, and often suicide for many people who need them just to be at baseline functioning and lead peaceful lives.