2017 415 Media Turkey Awards; Did You Make The List?; Gobble Gobble

2017 Bay Area Media turkeys...with gobble rating based on vulgarity and extreme turkey activity

*Ann Killion: the Chronicle's alleged sports writer fixated on femininity --which is not so bad but Killion takes it to the extreme. In addition to being a supreme yenta with all the grace of a Marilyn Manson concert, Killion is a certified man hater. She should be called out; I just did. You can too. 3 gobbles

*Reggie Aqui: I guess KGO-TV wanted this schmuck for some odd reason; demos? I don't have a clue. Neither does schlockmeister Aqui who acts as if this is his first rodeo; every time I think he can't get any worse, he gets worse. Reggie never met a camera mug he didn't like. A charming man better suited for a stock clerk at Nordstrom but TV News? Ouy Vey. 5 gobbles

*Cornell Bernard: this bizarre and quirky KGO reporter/anchor looks like a jerk and confirmed by my ABC7 sources is a jerk. For one thing, anybody who thinks he's curing cancer is a load already and Bernard frankly, takes himself too seriously. Maybe he should have another glass of wine and watch The View. That might do the trick. 1 gobble

*Brian Copeland: KGO Radio hosts generally are ripe for this award but Copeland by far is the leader in the clubhouse. Where does one start? A self-absorbed asshole who uses his own race to manipulate the bozos at KGO that run the albatross station. Copeland, Ronnnn's fondue because Ronn needs to schlep a person of color through Sea Cliff so he can say that he has Black friends, is as predictable as a Harvey Weinstein post-shower party. Oh, Copie? That "headlines with the headliners" bit? Very engrossing. Maybe you should call Ben Fong Torres --worth a paragraph.  3 gobbles

*Ronn Owens: Oh dear lord, in the past six years alone, Lowenstein lost his heart and soul; bad enough he sold out to the Cumulus turds but Ronn did it with style; the phony lunches with the phony "friendships" at North Beach Restaurant with various Cloud clowns; you've heard of them? They're the assorted suits that Cumulus sends to the 415 that continue to butcher the carcass known as the Next Generation --you've heard it? It's the Real Estate Radio Station with barely a pulse and a penny-stock corporate kill house run by coke-induced meatheads. Ronn, you should be ashamed but I know, gotta feed the family. 4 gobbles

*Chip Franklin: Just an annoying, irritating, obnoxious, infantile human specimen that mumbles nothing for three hours; a conniving, lying, self-absorbed putz with all the mellowness of a Tracy strip mall. Franklin, according to Franklin, has met and worked with every comic on the universe. I'm surprised he hasn't mentioned he's done recent sets with George Carlin and Andy Kaufman. "But I knew 'em real well!" Of course you did, thanks Wally Pipp, now back to the 20 topics in a minute because, Chipster, we know you like to kiss the boss' ass. 5 gobbles

*Ethan Bearman: Another of the conniving KGO tonsils that were hired to fill air time and bore the hell out of every known lizard and nincompoop that still listens to the 810 AM toilet factory. Ethan's getting better, he now only talks to 7 vitamin experts per hour. Tofu for everybody! 3 gobbles

*Chef Ryan Scott: Oh god, el schmucko to the 10th power. You know, dude, bad enough you cheat on your wife en fuego, but now that she's pregnant? That's a caramelized onion pottery of chutzpah and still doing the fake calls with the fake callers? Hey, you got Ronnnnn to do the show; wife-swap stories galore I bet. "Pal!" 4 gobbles

*Kenny Wardell: you know, Kenny, if you're gonna talk behind my back, at least have the mental gumption to do it to people that won't tell  what you said, harmless chatter it is, but nonetheless tacky because at least when I rip people I don't hide; my name is up there. Me thinks you've been hanging out with Copie and Ronnnnnnn a lot lately. 2 gobbles

*Gasia Mikaelian: Dear GAAS, OK, so you have finally toned it down, congrats, now just 86 the hairspray and we'll call it a day. 2 gobbles

*Sal Castaneda: Sal, one thing you must learn is loyalty. Nobody had your back as much as I did --especially during contract talks which you did well aided directly and indirectly by this obnoxious blogger.  It's OK, Sal, you did once give me a Fox coffee cup. 1 gobble

*Mike Mibach: They say you're a good guy but you come across as awfully smug; I mean, who do you think you are, Jeffrey Schaub? 3 gobbles

*Jessica Castro: just when I thought a star was born along comes a bitchy, mean, arrogant diva. I mean, who do you think you are, Darya Folsom? 2 gobbles

*Stan the Commenter: Holy smokes, Stan, I've given you more lives than that cat. Be a little aware, Stan. I'm the only guy on the planet who thinks you're funny and that remains--just take a break every now and then, cool? En fuego! 1 gobble

*Gary Radnich: OK, so yeah I congratulated you for 25 years at the radio gig; you mentioned it on the air and sort of reached out...and I accepted the olive branch and sort of reached out myself; now, for gawds sake, return a damn phone call. It's called common courtesy, a quality you apparently didn't get --maybe someone really was kissing your rear end. 2 gobbles

*John Lund: just an outright embarrassment and softer than a blind hooker on Market street. 4 gobbles

*Jason Wittmayer: see above. 4 gobbles

*Me: Look, I can be a pain in the ass, sure, but you still read me because as you know, there's nowhere else, no one period, who could write this and somehow survive. Yeah, kill me because I ask for donations so you can read this tripe and I can maybe buy a pair of shoes and roast turkey; how dastardly can one man be! So with that...3.5 gobbles

Gobble Gobble --have a Happy Thanksgiving.