TRAPPED. That's how I feel. Tough week, tough month, tough year. Personal mostly, but professional too.
Why am I here now? Because I am, somehow, some way, I'm still here for better or worse.
The last few weeks have been incredibly depressing --so much so that I began to wonder if doing this was compromising my own personal life.
Wait a minute. What life. A life littered with enough personal drama that would make Woody Allen envious. Well, maybe not that envious.
This is officially my first digression but stay tuned, there's more to come.
The election started it all off; that's when a certain loved one in my family became ill and had to be hospitalized --released, and again, hospitalized. They, the medical people, mainly the hospital thought they got it all fixed until they didn't get it all fixed and thus, they screwed up and we're back to square one; in the meantime, I'm shaking and hoping and praying and helping, assisting. That's what I do now. Sleep? Who can sleep when your daily life is interrupted, daily, by fear of that phone call from the hospital. Fortunately, I have two sisters who have come in and assisted --but it's tough, it really is. Especially around the holidays. I didn't really have a Thanksgiving. 2016 is a blur, can we get it over already? Please. Another digression: I just turned on KGO Radio and the simpleton in the early morning is talking about IPhones as the death toll in Berlin has increased --they're still looking for the lunatic but I guess IPhone chat trumps human life, it's a wonderful world out there.
*You know, not so long ago I was seriously thinking about dropping this blog thing but I couldn't --for one, I decided I couldn't really let many of you down because I see and hear from so many of you that write to me that you like reading about Bay Area media, the TV/Radio scene; its people; its TV Newscasts; its radio (whatever's left of that) You come here in droves, even those of you that can't stand me because you want to shoot the breeze, see what's up and down, who's getting screwed, who's really getting screwed and hosed, all of it, anyway you come here --it's a sort of town forum to vent and kvetch. The coffee could be a little better but it's passable, but I digress--again.
*Combined with all my personal mess I was still kicking myself again and again for a stupid mistake--I'm not going through all the details but I pride myself on really trying to get the information right and I failed miserably the other day. I was lazy and paid the price. So there. But that doesn't wipe away the stain of screwing up something so easily avoidable but I tell myself that in the big picture, I'll be stronger and not assume all my contacts have the correct tips and information, clearly this one didn't and I paid the price. Which in my case brings out the usual Internet trolls that relish my misfortune and prance on me waiting in line to kick me which isn't such a bad thing only the really nasty ones get almost orgasmic --sorta like taking wings off a dead fly. What a wonderful life. Ah, the Internet.
I am writing once again and working on fumes --it's a cliche but it's real. I cannot go back to civilian life just yet because I continue to care for her because she's the only person in my life that I can count on, thus, I'm there for her. There is no other choice.
Today is a new day. The sun is shining outside so I'll be a little more together and functional. I'm going to stop by the bagel shop and bring her a toasted bagel and lox, she loves that. And if I can make her smile and happy, that's a good day.
*To all of you, Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah. Have a safe, fun, relaxing time with your family and friends. And don't stress the small stuff, it's not worth it, trust me.