Tuesday, March 2, 2010

CNN needs to woo Maddow and Paterson; new combo would spike ratings



CNN needs help.

A bold move is in order. Truly revolutionary. To the rescue.

CNN needs to woo Rachel Maddow and David Paterson. Yes, I'm damn serious.

Sure, Maddow is under contract at MSNBC, but she can be bought out. CNN has tons of cash; I'm sure a few million isn't a problem.

Paterson would be easier. He's looking for a fast track out of NY and like everyone else on the planet, has always dreamed of pairing with Maddow. It could be awesome.

Both have charismatic presence. Both have passionate, compelling, adorable, made-for-TV persona's; hell, this is instantaneous karma. Think of the possibilities.

Maddow, who has appeared on MSNBC, NBC, Meet the Press, Jay Leno, Conan, Jon Stewart, Jerry Lewis, My Three Sons....would woo her millions of minions, fans, the whole meghillah, to CNN. CNN will blow past Fox News and MSNBC. We're talking real 'move-the-meter' stuff.

Paterson is a no-brainer. His boyish, handsome looks and innate charm has Pulitzer written all over it. Who the hell needs Anderson Cooper anyway! And Blitzer? Zippo! Wanna know why CNN has been stuck in neutral for years now? Blitzers' been hanging out too much time in the Situation Room. Now, with Maddow and Paterson, he can stay there.

There's mucho upside to the Maddow/Paterson nirvana. People in Iowa will flock to their TV sets. Jay Leno would be jealous; ditto Letterman. Rick Sanchez would tweet 100 times alone on the first announcement. Pokie from 'Jersey Shore would really go nuts. Bernie Goldberg would essentially do the macarena on Bill O'Reilly.

Keith Olbermann might be pissed, but Keith is always pissed, so call it a push.

Privately, CNN insiders would be giddy. Maddow/Paterson will bring a much-needed morale booster to the upper brass in Atlanta. Rank and file staffers would be utterly euphoric. This can be the start of something big.

Sure, at the start, things might be rough, but with due time, a bit of tweaking, I smell a ratings bonanza. We're talking the ultimate dynamic duo that could transcend life as we know it on the tele. I see the evolution of something. I think Ted Turner would go nuts and throw a big party. Roger Ailes and Rupert Murdoch would be speechless. Greta Van Susteren may need a fresh round of botox.

CNN has to act immediately. They need to roll out the wooers asap--the negotiations will be painstakingly tedious, but, for CNN, and the nations sake, IT needs to happen.

The country is is deep economic purgatory. A Maddow/Paterson pairing is not only good for CNN; its good for the US. You want a real stimulus program? Call Maddow and get her ass off the couch. Patterson? He's one phone call away. There's a direct Albany-Atlanta United flight and its nonstop! Come on CNN! You go girl!

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5 comments:

  1. Just how much do you drink?
    I won't even get into everything you said, but:
    1) It's not every day that someone with a gray beard is described as "boyish."
    2) Last I checked, MSNBC's ratings were not that good.
    3) The Pulitzer Prize is given to newspaper reporting, not television. "Boyish, handsome looks and innate charm" has nothing to do with it. However, IF they gave a Pulitzer for tv, the ethics scandals surrounding Patterson might be a factor.
    4) Patterson has "always dreamed of pairing with Maddow." Really? Up until 4 years ago, no one outside of Castro Valley had heard of Maddow.
    5) "Privately, CNN insiders would be giddy." Actually, I think they'd be giddy publicly (put their game face on for the media), and privately they'd be worried they have the next Katie Couric (big money, big pub, lousy ratings). Because I dont' think the people in Iowa wil flock to their tv's just to see a Maddow/Patterson pairing.

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  2. Yo, DD, I was uh, joking...maybe you otta read the room. Your so damn critical! (wink, wink)

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  3. "He's looking for a fast track out of NY" Rich, that's my politically incorrect LOL for today.

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  4. Rich-
    You're right- I need to read the room better, to quote your favorite morning sports talk radio host.

    I apologize- when I read this: "CNN needs to woo Rachel Maddow and David Paterson. Yes, I'm damn serious."- I took you seriously. My bad.

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