Sunday, June 18, 2017

The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth

Image result for the whole truth and nothing but the truth 

*IF MELISSA CAEN had any more make-up she could be in Planet of the Apes.

*Gasia Mikaelian and Darya Folsom could put Jeopardy into a five-day no score overtime.

*If Brian Murphy used the "yeah, yeah, yeah" utterances any more he could be recruited for a KNBR Beatle Mania troupe.

*Murphy's moronic co-host--the guy with the fake New Jersey accent and loud and dumb song parodies does not do any interviews. He probably read Highlights in the dentist's office.

*If KGO-TV's Jessica Castro doesn't cut it in TV News she could always use me as her permanent tour guide; as a matter of fact I'll even comp her.

*New prison inmates at San Quentin have been sentenced to listening to "Giants Re-Play" ---death row lifers have to listen to "Fitz and Brooks" for an entire week.

*Gasia going Hollywood: "hairspray blues."

*Dave Feldman at a Giants game in late August on NBC Sports Bay Area: "Guys, I just received images of my colonoscopy!"

*KCBS Trafic "Insta-View" translation: "we're too cheap to lease airplanes."

*That new Leah Garchik picture in the Chronicle: sort of a cross between Diane Keaton and Jan Wahl.

*When sports-talk hosts drone on about sappy Father's Day stories, they LOSE about a third of their audience.

*By the way, without mothers, there'd be no Father's Day. 

*Bullshit Dept: A buddy of mine bought 4 tickets to a Giants game a few weeks back near the will call window. "We have PLENTY of seats available," said the ticket lady. Yeah, "511 straight 'sellouts."  What "sellout?" The Chronicle won't write about this because they're in bed with the Giants and they always will be.

*A MILLION -POINT -FIVE-HUNDRED THOUSAND fans at the Oakland Warriors' Parade Thursday --4 minor citations (public drunkenness) which means the Chronicle and local TV were royally pissed that there were no major incidents so they couldn't speak/write ill of Oakland.

*Mindi Bach: Amg G with half a brain.

*Amy G at a Giants' game in August: "Guys, this is Clowie the Turtle...he's a big Giants' fan."

*Sal Castaneda: externally: nice guy, internally? meh.

*Aaron Pero: Darwin was wrong.

*Radnich: Tenderloin sports heroes.


  1. Melissa is the good girl who has very naughty thoughts.
    Or,maybe I'm projecting. As best as I can..wink.

    1. I thought the San Quentin Inmates listened to "Wack Dat Ass" by Mitch And His Bitches.

    2. Look up "Neanderthal" in the dictionary, there's a picture of Stan.

  2. I caught the "Pawlie Mac" podcast on the other KNBR (1050) last weekend- total excrement

  3. Jessica Castro is a smoke show. So gorgeous!

  4. Just read something very oppo-Rich in the Trib - The annual Best of East Bay section came out today, and you're not going to believe what I'm about to say. They gave Frank Somerville an award for Best Facebook Page. I'm seeing Lieberman going apocalyptic now.

    1. or perhaps, apoplectic?

  5. Giants claim they sell out every game because they have about 30 thousand season ticket holders so even if all of them don't show up they can claim it was a sellout if they get about 15 thousand day of game walk up sales or people buy online from various websites like Stub Hub. Some people don't show up until the third inning or later. The Mays Gate is open until the ninth inning and
    some people are still coming in. At any given time a lot of people are visiting the Garden section or in food lines, souvenir shops, bathrooms and walking around so some of the seats are always empty. The Chronicle did a story about this a few years ago.

  6. Hows this advice from Rabbi Alameddine:
    "Don't try to explain yourself to idiots.You're not the fuckface whisperer"
    I thought you might like that one...

    1. Sounds like a real classy guy.

  7. Clowie the Turtle may end up being the ONLY Giants' fan in August.

  8. San Francisco Bay Area Female Television Besties == Female Anchor/Reporter

    Tara Moriarity
    Justine Waldman
    Heather Holmes
    Katie Marzullo

    1. Good list, but the best female "field" reporter by far
      is Amy Hollyfield -- a true pro. Put Ann Makovec and Michelle Griego at the very bottom of the list for their
      woeful reporting of the UPS tragedy.

    2. You're right. Honorable Mention, San Francisco Bay Area Female Television Besties -- Female Anchor/Reporter

      Amy Hollyfield

      I don't see her much. She's very good.

  9. KCBS InstaView is Hi-Tech...and Green. Ya see KNX 1070 down in LA needs 3 airplanes in the air all day. There is a new traffic war between KFI and KNX since KFI relaunched it's aircraft a few months ago.
    So KCBS can use traffic cameras, road sensors, and it's cellular phone force.
    Maybe if that CBS-SF cluster could get off it's ass and generate some billing...they may get a drone...or a seagull with a gopro zip tied to it's beak.

  10. When will the world hear the curious story about how Melissa Caen's creeper husband(who follows her everywhere and won't let her out of his sight)GOT KICKED OUT OF THE KPIX STUDIO after harassing a teleprompter operator? Management demanded that he no longer accompany her to work as he did every day. And neither one of them drive by the way. True members of the privileged class, living an augmented reality.

  11. C'mon, Rich. How many more of these lists of insults are you going to publish? There have been several over the last couple of weeks.

    How about something informative, or otherwise substantial?

  12. Amy G is about as useful as a glass of ice to an Eskimo.

    I didn't hear anything about the lack of arrests at the Warriors parade. That's a great thing. Of course, it happened in Oakland, so the media doesn't care. Then again, if downtown gets lit up by protesters, that's different.

    Media outlets shouldn't be allowed to sponsor professional sports teams. All of the objectivity goes out the window. Don't go into a rant about promising objectivity despite the conflict of interest. Give the Giants credit. They've trained the beast well. It's a shame.

    The Giants ratings in August: should be interesting.

  13. .... send the "fuckface whisperer" to 810 ,he could have a go at Ethan and Chip. Worst case, they can have a ribbon for participation .

  14. Giants season ticket holders can 'consign back' any tickets that they cannot attend. Many sold seats are 'no-shows' and a good number are consigned back. Hence the 'we have plenty of seats available'.
    With 30k season tickets, they only have to sell 11K single seat tickets to get the sellout.

  15. > *Gasia Mikaelian and Darya Folsom could put
    > Jeopardy into a five-day no score overtime.

    Add Julie Haenar and Heather Holmes to that list.

  16. Sal just walked by called you a mother fucker

  17. Lay off Melissa Caen. She's bright and hot.