The Golden Turkey awards; Bay Area media and beyond

As a community service, and celebrating the pre-Thanksgiving rush, we bring to you the following:

The 2009 Golden Turkey awards.

**KSFO's morning host, Lee Rodgers
Rodgers makes John McCain sound like Captain Kangaroo. Other then being the proverbial cranky old man, Rodgers "bleepity-bleep", "Obama, you suck" four-hour daily marathon has about as much resonance as an outhouse in the bowels of Candlestick Park.

**KGO Radio's VP-Michael Luckoff
Darth Luckoff, better known as the emperor at 900 Front. Question. Why is this man so angry? Hey Mickster, relax, smile a bit and have a hot turkey sandwich on me at Grumpy's. You're still #1 and the Citadel force hasn't hit the shop, but take comfort that you still have a pretty decent station. And it's nice to know you and Ronn Owens have made up.

**KNBR/KRON4's Gary Radnich
Congratulations Mr. Radnick on getting through a tough year. Look, the no-sports talk shtick seems to be wearing thin and your Q rating is sinking faster than Jimmy Raye's latest play calls. Raddy is clever though; I didn't know he's suddenly turned into Dr. Phil, talking endlessly about how you grow and nurture through life is A. how you were treated by your parents growing up. B. That in order to make something of your life you have to have kids and be responsible. C. For the "900Th time", blah-blah-blah...by the way, enough Willie Brown kissing. Yeah, we know he says a lot of things, but in your words, "Read the room" indeed. Willie may be funny and crafty in Pacific Heights, but his act wears thin in the suburbs of Walnut Creek and Modesto. Need proof? Check the ratings. Lee Hammer says no.

**The KNBR "Morning show"
Four hours of endless sound drops; repeated "spontaneous" stories that go nowhere that were told earlier and made to sound off the cuff. The story that creates another story, which creates another story, which creates another story...the shameless giggle by Brian Murphy; the co-host "Paulie" with the fake New Jersey accent and the utterly lame theme songs that have all the buzz of a Tenderloin hooker working the Ellis street corridor.

**KNBR's 'Fitz and Brooks
Gosh, where do we start? We'll, at least 'Fitz, (aka: 'flunkster dude) has stopped the 414 Notre Dame references, (in case you don't know, Notre Dame sucks this year; like they have for about two decades, although Fitz likes to note about 22x a day that "at least we have student-athletes and all you guys at Miami, USC, Florida are arrested and deserve--blah--blah-blah...The gigglers other dynamic "co-host", perpetually-pissed-off and snooty, Rod Brooks? All he does is talk in stilted, regimented lingo and has 'tude up the ying-yang. Don't you dare call in and question Brooksie on any 49ers scheme; see, all is well with the Niners; it's the 'damn offensive line, yada, yada, yada---If "Fitz and Brooks" got paid by the giggle, they'd both be multi-millionaires. Oh, one other thing: nice of "guest" Adam Meyer to tout his "service" weekly on the show. By the way, Meyer buys time on Knibber; uh, you'd think that would be mentioned, but dang, its KNBR.

**KGO/ABC7's Larry Beil
Uh, Mr. "with-authority" seems to think he's God and everyone else is mere mortals. Larry, this ain't Bristol--it's the Bay Area. Your on-air demeanor is completely different than your off-air persona, which reeks of self-importance. It's sports, not a Pentagon Papers seminar, for god's sake. And by the way? Smile a little.

**KPIX/CBS5's Anna Werner
Ms. Warner, with all due respect there's only one Mike Wallace. I love the fact that you seem determined, but the on-camera assault doesn't have the cachet of 60 Minutes. Just investigate and do your story. The other stuff is sort of lame.

**SJ Merc writer/blogger Tim Kawakami
Kawakami is a star right now; at least that's what he thinks, and by golly, Tim is usually dead-on and possesses great insight and clever takes on the Bay Area sporting scene, particularly the Warriors...but his incessant, repeated verbal pile-ons on the Raiders are predictable and reeks of an axe to grind. Yeah, I know the Raiders are tough Tim, but nobody forced the gig on you and the 'John Herrera deal made you a one-day celebrity.

**SF 49Er's PR guy Bob Lange
This is a bit self-serving, but what the hell. I don't know the guy other than a couple of truly awful phone conversations, one of which I threw the F-bomb at this schmuck, who came from Philly and managed to alienate me, (and apparently, I'm not the only one) Considering the Niners performance thus far, I guess there's only one word for Lange that I send: karma.

**ESPN radio's 'Mike and Mike (Greenberg and Golic)
Oy vey, go away! Please. These self-important, arrogant ESPN hucksters are about as entertaining as seeing the opening act for Tony Orlando at a county fair in Iowa. Other than the incessant ESPN references and pathetic kowtows/interviews of other ESPN mutants, these two clowns add nothing of substance to the radio arena. The password is: yawn.

**Comcast Sportsnet Bay Area's Giants reporter Amy Gutierrez
Amy G. I don't have to say anything more.

**KCBS' Jan Wahl
'Hatwoman acts as if the world revolves around her. That's ok. I've been known to think my stuff doesn't stink either; it does...Wahl's movie reviews can be sized up in a few sentences; she never seems to hate any musical and loves Jane Austin. How freakin' glorious! But, yo, Janno, you're still not bigger than the movie. At least not yet.

**KRON4's Henry Tannenbaum
What's Hank pimping today? Lawn furniture? Coffee tables? Oriental rugs? The opening line was supposed to be a joke, but darn it, everything I just penned is true. Shameless, amateurish and perfectly tacky, which works just fine for the KRON4 'business model, whatever that is.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and follow me daily on Twitter.