The 2017 holiday was not so sacred as mom passed the following March, 2018. I've haven't been the same, since.
Mom was still robust, still lucid as ever but she began to lose her memory altogether. She wasn't acting right. I couldn't spell it out exactly but I knew something was amiss. Mom wasn't herself, even as I argued at the dinner table with my sister and her husband, mom's reaction was stale and uncomfortable--almost as if she wasn't there but she was, fortunately maybe, missing the argument.
Mom would have got in my face and told me to move on and get over it and write about media (and I will)-- she'd have told me that she's OK, in a better place and that I get on with my life and do what I do but I can't. It's still very painful and it's even more painful now because it feels literally like yesterday she left me. And which is why I hurt and hurt so much. Still.
My mother, god bless her soul, raised me. My father wasn't there.
My mother had a Thanksgiving ritual--she'd watch the Macys parade in NY with my sisters at my older sister's house and sip coffee --later on, we'd eat, early too around 3ish 'cause mom liked it that way. The noshes first and then the main event, dinner. Mom liked white meat and gravy with the stuffing. Richelle cooked a good meal, always, and mom was happy, "fress, Richie!", she'd say.
I'm sort of antsy now as the holiday nears. Don't know what to do and have no plans. It hurts real bad. My mother is telling me, again, get over it and go about your life, easier said than done because she was my best friend and was always there, thick and thin. I know many of you that lost a parent, the same feeling.
I can't really enjoy a Thanksgiving without thinking about her, mom, you raised me and it's hard to carry on and feel this deep scar inside me, especially on Thanksgiving.
Thank you for sharing Rich. Your Mom sounded like a wonderful woman, you were lucky to have her and be with her so much. I love my Mom too and spend all the time that I can with her. You were a great son.
ReplyDelete🙏🏿
ReplyDeleteIt's the memories............jf
ReplyDelete1:31 - Nice words.
ReplyDeleteKnow what it's like Rich ,
ReplyDeleteBeing an Orphan is the worst
I lost my only sibling in 2008, my Dad passed in 2015 and my mom in 2021 from Covid. I am the sole remaining member of my core family. I miss them all and holidays are not the same. I am the only person with memories from growing up and this saddens me. Take one day at a time, it is what I have to do.
ReplyDeleteDear Rich as this Thanksgiving approaches I'm at the beginning of the journey that you have written about.
ReplyDeleteI"ll prepare a small Thanksgiving dinner just like the ones she would prepare for dad and I. We hope this won't be last but I feel it could very well be.
As we raise our glasses and toast to our small but loving family we will include your mom as well. She raised a good son.
I have been saying since pandemic hit and we could move around in the world, tell people who matter to you that they matter to you!! Tomorrow isnt promised . When Rich shared
ReplyDeletestories about his mom,she knew he loved her and she him! Every moment matters,make it count. Rich get together with other people who dont have family. Ya'all could go out for Chinese or coffee!
Rich, thanks for opening your heart and mind. You might contact your local food pantry, or soup kitchen, to see if you can help out for a few hours, on Thanksgiving. It would be both therapeutic and comforting for you, I assure you.
ReplyDeleteBeen missing mine for a few decades, but still hits me like it was yesterday. Just me and a sister left and we do a small Thanksgiving dinner now. We'll raise a glass to your mum. She did right with you.
ReplyDeleteI lost both of parents within a five year period. They were both well into their 90s and had wonderful, fulfilling lives. They raised a family if 3 kids, traveled the world, both of them had very successful and fulfilling careers and were together fir 71 years! I am now with my other family, ( wife, kids and in laws,) and the 10 of us will get together for Thanksgiving tomorrow. But I miss my parents, especially during the holidays. Thanks Dad! Thanks Mom! You were always there for me and my brother and sister. We miss you and love you!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I lost Mum last December. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteThe grandparents to whom I was closest to together lived such a long and wonderful life that it almost set a false expectation. They passed in the last 4 years, but then were followed to my shock by several other loved ones including my mom. Since then I’ve felt lost.
ReplyDeleteCondolences Rich. And to the others here. These have been difficult times indeed.