Friday, June 3, 2016

415 Media Friday; KRON Will Tran Excess; KGO-TV Reporter/Anchor Contract Negotiations Could Be 'Very Interesting'; KPIX Sweeps? Don't Ask; Donnie and Marie Update; If Only KRON Would Have Hired Tom Sinkovitz; TGIF Media Zingers

 KRON: Hey, Will Tran, your breathless reporting from the scene of the Fremont Police Standoff was not reviewed well by viewers who actually watch KRON.

The "Golly-Gee, I'm on TV!" and frantic pace of your demeanor left several folks bewildered, including me.

Yo, Will, that "interview" of the PIO guy was unbelievably, unintentionally hilarious. I mean, by comic standards, you hit it out of the park. He even looked at you like, "WTF is this guy asking me?! And to make matters even more confusing if not bizarre, what was the reason why you kept telling us, "I live in Fremont", so what? Now, had you been yourself one of the residents unable to get back in your home, well of course that would been worthy of mentioning, maybe once or twice. Outside of that, everything else made no sense --but as I keep saying, it's KRON. Land of infomercials, patio furniture promos and insane sports anchors who park their Bentley in handicapped zones and make other anchors feel nauseous.

*KGO-TV has a veteran, tenured, anchor/reporter whose contract is up and management doesn't really like the person. Contract negotiations could be more chaotic than a Friday summer line outside Disneyland. Did I say, Disney? They're hella cruel.

*More KRON: if you continue to high-five yourself, "we were the FIRST to tell you", ad nauseam, then the 15 people watching will be reduced to 10. Just do your damn job. Give your viewers the NEWS! How difficult is that. And, Jesus Christ, can Steve Aveson be more of a dork than he is? It would be too easy and kind to label Aveson a new Ron Burgundy but it's tempting. Aveson acts like he's some Fresno toastmaster with his straight, "I'm a newscaster, look at my eyes and listen to me, I'm seriously serious!" For crying out loud, Steve, you're reading a teleprompter, not reciting the Ten Commandments.

*Last KRON: Please, please, CAN the HORRIBLE, OLD music jingle. It should have been aborted long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away near the toilets in Tommy's Joynt. You made a big deal about moving out of  Van Ness and into the waterfront, now flush that jingle down the john, immediately --otherwise, you have to watch an old Jim Paymar infomercial.

*Roberta Gonzales : just when I thought we were friends again.  Look, sweetie, if you play your cards right, I'll buy the next round of margaritas.

*KPIX: Oh dear lordie that May Sweeps was pretty awful --may be time to hire another Hawaiian Walmart clerk. Wait a minute!

*"Hi, I'm Swen McDubbledork and I work for Dan Rosenheim --we flew you, Gunther Bonerman, out to SF to interview for the morning show--I see you have a great tan and you're half Jewish and Asian, great, dude,--can you start next week?"

*Big Donnie and Marie news at KGO: no dancing reported during commercials. That's progress. Now if only male doofus would stop tweeting Sharks hockey players.

*I'm being serious here, KGO-TV has a "gay" issue inside the newsroom and if you don't believe me, Trixie and Billy, ask your favorite snitches.

*Radnich, I'm told, is going to the Warriors/Cavs game on Sunday, shit!, a sports guy actually going to a sporting event! Damn, time to pop the champagne and party in the Tenderloin. All we need is a Jaguar.

*KGO Radio: the radio version of an Amazon Warehouse in Tonopah.

*I fibbed, more KRON: had the schmucks hired Tom Sinkovitz back to co-anchor the 5 or 6PM news with Pam Moore, they would have garnered INSTANT credibility, not to mention a QUALITY newscast, hell, I would have watched.

*Cheryl Hurd, damn you get better looking as you age, the black Vicki Liviakis.

*Lisa Argen is class, grace, elegant and the most accurate weather forecaster in the market. Now PAY HER, KGO. She's no Leyla Gulen.

*Jesse Gary is back at KTVU (Fox2) --what, was Kraig Debro unavailable? Oh, wait a minute, I forget, sorry.

*The FOXification Indoctrination at Channel 2 is so intense I hear Fox Execs have considered hiring Tom Cruise to come in and interview potential hires...yeah, just so Scientologyie --the only problem: by doing that, KTVU suits are worried Gasia Mikaelian would take a selphie with Tom.

*THIS JUST IN: Mike Mibach is so great, so cool and calm under pressure. How do I know? Mike told me.

*Mark Ibanez and Heather Holmes? Just sayin... (Psst, might be better, guys, to have more intimate soirees at a far, far away place, try the Brisbane Howard Johnson's bar.

*Scott Reiss and Cristina Rendon: a perfect news -anchor combo that is so good, KTVU will somehow fuck it up.

*KTVU Internal Memo to KRON: "We have MORE WEATHER reports than YOU DO!"

*"We interrupt this program to bring you the inaugural Larry Beil-Frank Somerville Hair Plug Showdown!"

*BREAKING NEWS: Somerville working on a new Facebook posting: "I'm against cancer." 4000 responses: "Frank, we love you!"

*Darya Folsom is so phony she was refused admittance to a Union City Arby's.

*Big week for Ronnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Owens: he and Copie are having dual manicure/pedicures.

*Hey, "ASS" man? Enough already. It was funny but you began to abuse your membership. Try a little brevity.

*I've invited Stan back into the living room because Stan makes me laugh and nervous too, always a winning combo.

*OK, time for lamb shanks at Tommy's Joynt, really the most important thing in life. Hold on.

*Bewildering news at KQED: they just hired another manager: winning formula: new manager admits to watching "Check Please."

*KQED managers budget: roughly the dollar amount of a Saudi Arabian Sultan's 10 mansions in Beverly Hills.

*Follow me on Twitter

41 comments:

  1. I always find it amusing that Rich uses "Clovis" or "Fresno", even included a "Union City Arbys" this time.
    The rest of us prefer "Oakland".

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  2. Mark likes them white and blond.

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    Replies
    1. Who doesn't?

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    2. Heather was looking pretty hot Friday night.

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  3. "...your breathless reporting from the scene of the Fremont Police Standoff was not reviewed well by viewers who actually watch KRON."

    People actually watch KRON?

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    1. Lockdown punishment in prisons: they put you in the hole with nothing but water and a TV set tuned to KRON. Although the ACLU is trying to get it ruled "cruel and unusual punishment."

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  4. KPIX- wow where to start. They made their bed long time ago, now it's management's turn to lie in it.

    Their newcast is dry. They have a bunch of boring stiffs who are as relatable as foie gras in an Oakland strip mall.

    They simply need to look at their competition thats beating them. Gasia, while annoying, is a beautiful voluptuous woman with native ties. Ama is another stunning woman of color also from this market.

    Pam is black. Many African Americans watch the news. Ditto Brittany.

    Frank and Julie are standbys, and have the trust of their viewers despite FOXification.

    KGO just hired a pretty traffic girl, while KPIX continues to rotate nameless heavyset women. Sal atleast, has name recognition even though he isnt a looker.

    They hired Kenny- why? I really want to know what the draw there was. Maybe increasing diversity? Sorry, but KPIX already has enough Asians as is- a group that does not really consume English news TV.

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    Replies
    1. You are a fucking racist idiot. (I know, that is redundant)

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    2. What he says is true about Asian viewership.

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    3. Chief McSitting BullJune 3, 2016 at 3:57 PM

      Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm a white, Irish-American with a smattering of Cherokee, so the only anchor I watch is...um...wait a minute. There's no one for me to watch. DARN!

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    4. How about Ken Wayne?

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    5. KPIX needs to get out the white flag and start waving it. I don't understand their aversion to minorities (non Chinese) and attractive people

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  5. Rich, love the website. Keep up the good work. I am a regular listener to KFI in Loz Angelez and Jennifer Jones Lee has surfaced there. She's fit in well however hearing her does bring back the KGO memories from oh so many years ago.
    Here's a question for you. Libby Denkmann was the host for John & Ken, KFI afternoon drive talking heads. She was there one day and gone the next. Have your SoCal sources shared any insight with you that you can pass on? Thanks Rich!

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    Replies
    1. I noticed Jennifer Jones Lee on KFI as well. If you can get KFI you never have to listen to Bay Area radio!

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    2. I hate to mention it but: iheart.com

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  6. "Radnich, I'm told, is going to the Warriors/Cavs game on Sunday..."

    After last night's statement win, other media types featured the Warriors bench while Gary and the equally clueless Chronicle focused on Curry's "struggles."

    In other words, the fact that Radnich is going to the game is meaningless.

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    Replies
    1. He had to program the directions into the nav in his Bentley or he wouldn't be able to find the place.

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  7. @10:27
    So do whites watch Frank, Julie and Heather because they're Caucasian?

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  8. From a tractor to a Bentley that's an American success story...

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  9. There is no Arby's in Union City.

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    Replies
    1. What's up with the only Sonic being in Gilroy?

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    2. Actually, there's a Sonic in Hayward

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  10. I too thought that Scott Reiss did an excellent newscast, along with Christine. She has to improve on her wardrobe, however. Were you aware that Scott is also the voice of Stanford football? Don't know if he does basketball or not.

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    Replies
    1. He has does Stanford basketball as well. He became the voice once Flem left years ago.

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  11. Sal Casteneda always starts his deal in the am with "things are getting busy on 580 Dave and Pam" or "slow traffic on Highway 4 Dave and Pam" He says this all through out the newscast. He says it so much as to leave the viewer (me)feeling excluded. Do they really need that much ego stroking at that early hour? Jeez

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    Replies
    1. I like to start with a nice antipasto salad.

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  12. Everyone in the business knows that Will Tran is an attention seeking idiot

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    Replies
    1. Will Tran is also the biggest shit talker in the business

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    2. I always figured that Will Tran must be related to the owners of KRON, and that's how he got that gig. No?

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  13. You fail at Bay Area geography Rich. There is no Arby's in Union City. So you're going to have to send Diarrhea Darya to the Newark Arby's

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    Replies
    1. I'm still trying to figure out the Lombard sign, speaking of geography.

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  14. Give me the benefit of the doubt, and everything is fine....

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    Replies
    1. I looked at your blog now and then. Do I get a free lunch for that?

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  15. In the Bay Area the bar has been lowered for Tv and Radio, the sponsors say so.

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  16. Please tell me Heather is still single

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    Replies
    1. Like you'd have a shot. How Much money are you worth?

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  17. Mark and Hearher? Huh... No wonder. Not even remotely surprised.

    But does he actually put on pants for her or the usual short set with sport jacket?

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  18. Speaking of KTVU, I saw Rosemary Orozco tonight ín a tight dress with the hem above her knees! I guess she is getting the Fox message, along with the pay raise.

    She is definitely looking better nowadays.

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  19. KRON's jingle doesn't need to be dumped, just updated. They had a good thing going a few year's ago with Stephen Arnold Music's Overture music, but it was dumped because of licensing fees. http://www.stephenarnoldmusic.com/NewsMusic/?p=overture

    They could do so much better with what they have now though. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of different cuts of the KRON jingle. For example, remember the weather bumper music from over a decade ago? Hasn't been used since! https://youtu.be/NIlQVkiieSo?t=19m47s (@19:47)

    Updated motion graphics would do wonders for them as well.

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  20. I can't believe Jesse Gary is back on my TV again. He won't. Stop. Talking. Okay, report done, back to the desk... NOOO Don't ask him a question, Frank! Five minutes later, question still unanswered, back to the desk. Sheesh. He gets paid by the syllable, right?

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  21. KRON's music is pretty much one of the few things that it has going for it. Sure, it reminds everyone that KRON is a shell of its former self. But the music is fine and the least of its problems.

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