*Any anchor who tells the TV reporter ending an in-studio package "OK, thanks, Jill" should be sent to Bakersfield. One of the most annoying things in TV News. "Thanks?" For what? Doing their job. How about a nod and get on with your look at the teleprompter, for crying out loud! Thanks.*Ban all song parodies on local radio shows. That would mean unemployment for one of the morons on KNBR's "Murph and Mac" which wouldn't be such a bad thing. Furthermore 100 out of 100 times the song parody really sucks which makes an otherwise lousy mess an extra otherwise lousy mess. Do a song parody? All expenses-paid ticket to Gitmo.
*No more interviewee begins talking to anchor by using the word, "so"...really one of the most irritating, lazy, disgusting, trends that has infected the souls out there, mostly the all-star assholes known as millennials. Women are the worst. Anchor: "Barbara, tell us about your study." Barbara: "So, we began research...." Hey Barbara, I got your "so" right here.
*The all-encompassing leader in the clubhouse, "AT THE END OF THE DAY" has quietly taken a sudden respite but it is still being yapped aloud, mostly by pundits and sports radio talk-show hosts, especially locally. Give a listen to Radnich who still says it off and on endlessly as does his moronic sidekick, Larry Krueger, who while talking out of both sides of his mouth and lecturing, is known for a few "At the end of the days"--wanna make 50 bucks? Bet Krueger says it on any given show and you'll win which will get you a decent meal at Tadich.
*Every local radio outlet bans ALL "Kars for Kids" jingles which now pollutes most of Northern, Central, and Southern California and by exposing this musical fungus to the citizens has created a pandemic worse than Cholera.
*KCBS, can Jan Wahl's shitty and disgusting movie reviews on Friday, immediately. Jan might be a cool woman and I'm sure she's quite warm and fuzzy in person but her obnoxious, talent-impaired "reviews" sound like some bored yenta in Boca Raton waxing poetic about her manicure and pedicure. Makes we want to puke, actually.
*That annoying little putz who tells her dad on radio to quit passing gas. And the asshole father who retorts, "That's right, pumpkin." Passing gas and nicknaming your girl, "Pumpkin." Just another reason why I want to listen to AM radio. Oy Vay.
*More KCBS: Deport asshole, foodie chap, Liam Mayclem. Like yesterday. What the hell does this guy do except eat free food and then guzzle about it on air? Seriously, Jack Swanson, it is really messing with the brand. Mayclem's hideous chortling and food orgasms would be better heard at a tea shack in the middle of Downtown Baghdad.
*Make otherwise decent Giants broadcaster Jon Miller refrain from saying, "So uh, " the thousands of times he says it on the post-game wrap and win a trip to Barstow.
*Make otherwise annoying Mike Krukow refrain from his pathetic and now, clearly uber-annoying, daily "IN THE SQUAT!" yap; hey Mike, you're getting paid good money and have a great gig; stop this incessant childlike blurt; we're not children listening from detention, we're grown-ass adults.
*Take Brian Murphy and his co-dependent mutant, "Powlie" and dump them in the Cumulus toilet then immediately scream, "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Do the same function for penis man, John Lund, who wouldn't know a creative yarn if his life depended on it.
*Blowtorch every damn "update" read by every damn KNBR announcer, intern (the same thing) who broadcast "scores" from 24 hours earlier. Apparently, KNBR has never heard of the Internet.
*Snitch on Stanley Roberts who made an illegal U-turn on Van Ness the other day.
*Tell the white guy doing the weather on KRON that unless he were to magically turn into a young woman with big tits he's pretty much hopeless.
*Have lunch with Aaron Pero at Grumpys and right after the bill comes, begin screaming and yelling at the top of your lungs telling him what an asshole he is.
*While waiting to have your colonoscopy you see Alan Martin opening the 5. About the same sensation.
*In the middle of root canal hear Brian Copeland talk on the radio about his days growing up in San Leandro.
*Lock Justin Wittmayer in the Cumulus bathroom with John Lund and Mike Mcvay and make them listen to 680 hours worth of The Saloon.
*Stick a Rubik's cube in Paulie Mac's mouth and break his guitar in half.
*Tell Radnich if he talks about being married and having kids is a necessary function in life to make sure that cheating on your first wife wasn't on the menu.
*Drive Larry Baer to San Quentin and leave him there for inventing that cringe-worthy dreck known as "Giants Replay."
*Take Reggie Aqui to the SF Zoo and stick him in the elephant exhibit. Then tell the zookeeper to play "Night Fever" over the PA system.
*Want to piss off your in-laws royally? Make them watch KTVU's "The 4"--that should keep them away for at least six months.
*You have a horrible hangover; you haven't stopped vomiting; you feel like total shit; your face is ashen and swollen; you look like that old mug shot of Nick Nolte; WAIT A MINUTE! You just got done listening to the "Rich Uncles" spot read by Chip Franklin, or was it the Mercedes ad read by Ronnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn Owens.
*Go to Facebook and fuck with Frank Somerville: post a status update on his page about some guy in Utah who wants to ban selfies in the local mental hospital. Frank will then say "this is so wrong--it got to me, it really did--what do you think?" Within five minutes, Frank's 4000 sycophants will begin posting, "Thank You Frank, you are God!"
*Uh, pen letter to the afternoon guy on the FM Sports station: "Dear Damien"--that really, really, pisses him off.
*Uh, send e-mail to Canadian PD at "The Game" (95.7 FM) "Dear Mr. Kollins: Did you get 1 ratings in Montreal too?"
*Uh, send e-mail to Ted Griggs of CSNBA: "Dear Ted, why and how does Dan Dibley get on the live show--is it because he's white, vapid, boring, and resembles Opey?"
*Tweet Kate Scott: "Dear Kate, I saw your younger pictures on Google Images and my god, I almost thought there was something worse that listening to The Saloon!"
*Inflict terror in the household: turn up the volume and make your kids watch KRON's "Back Story."
>Ban all song parodies on local radio shows. That would mean unemployment for one of the morons on KNBR's "Murph and Mac" which wouldn't be such a bad thing
ReplyDeleteOh yes, please.
There's a Game 7 tonight in the Bay Area. You wouldn't have known it by listening to those clowns this morning.
Kars for Kids: let's take the two WORST singers and have them do the commercial. For the love of God make it stop . . .
The kid singing in"The Kars For Kids" might be in his 20's now since the ad was made 10-15 years ago. I cringe when I hear it before changing channels or turning the radio off in disgust.
DeleteWhere's Milli Vanilli?
DeleteRight on about "so..." I've been ranting about this for FOUR YEARS. Finally, I'm hearing some serious backlash. It's about time. (And the less said about "At The End Of The Day," the better.
ReplyDelete"So, ... " Unnecessary.
Delete"... eponymous ..." Redundant and unnecessary usually.
"That said, ..." "However, ..." is more direct and explicit.
"We reached out ..." Okay, but did they reach back? "We contacted ..." "We got in touch with ..." "We called ... " All perfectly acceptable substitutes and more like what you actually did unless you're kidding yourself.
I am SO sick of 'So'. Don't people realize that beginning a sentence with 'so' is essentially the same as beginning a sentence with 'and'? So people do it, anyway. And that's why the sound like idiots.
DeleteI like the people who say, "Where is it at?" My reply is always, "It is at over there."
DeleteI knew an idiot who couldn't spell "they." I think his name was Brian.
"Drive Larry Baer to San Quentin and leave him there for inventing that cringe worthy dreck known as,,,,,,,,AMY G.
ReplyDeleteKars for Kids. In the beginning they were sorta cute. They have now become "Thumb Sucking Brats," who are driving us all crazy! I'm thinking about calling the FBI.
ReplyDeleteHearing "Kars for kids" every 22 minutes makes me want to slit my wrists with a plastic spoon. It may take a while but like A&E it will be time well spent.
ReplyDeleteThey should remake it and call it Kids for Kars...
DeleteThe Cars For Kids commercial is a perfect example of how low advertising has sunk (although some might argue that all commercial advertising is terrible). These days, most companies strive to produce something so awful and annoying that it virtually assures some kind of response instead of trying to create something with a little bit of smart wit. Trust me, there are people out there who probably find those "kids" cute. The dumbing-down has been entirely successful.
ReplyDeleteLack of creativity and apathy rule. It's a "race to the bottom," not just with commercial advertising, but with talent as well. Anyone ever hear Larry "My Sharony" on KCBS at 7:00PM? This guy is just hard to listen to. Can't read one single line of script without stumbling over his own voice. Repeatedly! It's painful to hear. Not to mention the new scourge of incessant Shane Co. commercials. Absolutely mind numbing. I know what I'd like to do with Tom's fucking diamond rings.
but on the bright side the SCREAMING CAR LADY is gone!
DeleteAs for Chip Franklin..... this chucklehead is about annoying as a root canal on acid. Who's his target audience ?? rampaging seven year olds with anger issues or those trapped in elevators with no ability to change the dial. Send it back from whence it came!!! Lets get back to some adult conversation.
ReplyDeleteLund taking his penis jokes to KNBR
ReplyDeleteAlong with the "OK, thanks so-and-so"...how about banning the "That's right, Frank" handoff from the live-shot reporter.
ReplyDeleteGood to hear I'm not the only one extremely annoyed by "in the squaaaaaaaaaaaaat".
ReplyDeleteI'll add another annoying habit Why the Hell does KPIX still have the green grocer?
ReplyDeleteI thought it was stupid way back when and it is even more stupid now. I'll give it a reprieve for when the grocer's HOT daughter was on for awhile but now it is back to smelling melons at CALA? (OK I know CALA is long gone but it sounds more San Francisco). Most hipsters have their meals delivered and the other well off SF types like my Nob Hill old girlfriends who can't cook have cooked meals delivered in mass so who really smells melons at Trader Joe's?
It is past time to loose the clown or better yet send him to KTVU early news to replace Pam when she is on one of her adventures she takes off for every other week.
So...Probably the worst offender is Gil Gross on Radio 910...I like him, but it does get hard at times...
ReplyDeleteYou obviously don't get out of bed during the normal commute crowd because we see few comments on the Sussman circus but his catch phrase that irritates to no end? "Back in the Day..."
ReplyDeleteWTF is that? Mister experience talking? This guy has no street smarts and his sidekick is an idiot.
I have insomnia so on occasion I listen to the radio in the middle of the night, at least I try to.
ReplyDeleteBut they play the same ten public service commercials over and over again literally hundreds and hundreds of times between the shows. I am not exaggerating.I can recite them verbatim if need be. Sometimes these same ads disappear for a couple of months and then return with vengeance. Sometimes they actually play the same commercials back to back. It's unbelievable. Forget about water-boarding and have ISIS prisoners listen to Bay Area radio in the middle of the night and they'll immediately spill their guts.
Seriously, does anyone advertise on radio any longer? What sort of revenue do they get from these public service announcements?
Does Radnich still preface his comments with "well, nobody asked me, but..."
ReplyDelete(his lame attempt at humility and trying to imply he's just one of the average, non-Bentley owning schmucks in the audience whose opinions nobody cares about)
That's right, Radnich, nobody asked you, so read the damned scores or STFU.
Wahl? I vividly remember when she served as a guest host on At The Movies after Siskel died.
Ebert maintained a pained, "WTF?" look throughout the program, and was probably asking himself how such an amateur ended up on his show.
Dan Dibley...boring as hell. Can't figure out why CSN Bay Area puts a clown like that on air. It's a sign of desperation.
ReplyDeleteYeah, this noob white weatherman at KRON must be from far away, for he's the first person to go on air and refer to the Bay Area as the "Metro Area"
ReplyDeleteAlso, dive in.
ReplyDeleteAll Millenials in the news business should dive in to what Lieberman is saying. Either that or dive in to something else.
The Kars for Kids ads, in a loop, could be used as an Enhanced Interrogation Technique.
ReplyDelete'Kars for Kids' is a well known scam. 95 percent of the money they raise doesn't go to help kids in need, but rather to some fat cat sitting behind a desk somewhere, laughing his ass off at the gullibility of people who sent their money to him!
ReplyDeleteHere's why KNBR SUCKS! 'Paulie' Mac, (what, he thinks he's convincing us he's from Jersey?) Kate Scott, (sounds like she's doing a commercial for someone who wants to pretend that they're a radio announcer,) 'P-Con' (a dysfunctional blowhard who has an annoying manner and voice and needs to STFU!), 'Fatty Fitz' (who sucked his way into jobs and continue to be an annoying blowhard), Rod Brooks, (annoying know it all who doesn't know squat about bay area sports,) John, ("yes, I actually do have a penis and it works!") Lund, (KNBR actually hired this cretin away from 'The Game?' Why did they go after Guy Haberman, the 'Game's" best talk show host?) Ray, "I'm going to be negative so just sit there and deal with it!" Ratto, who I'm glad to see is not on as often as he has been in the past, and that kid who sounds like a high school announcer, Joe Hughes, who does traffic and "sports updates" (more like a promo for KNBR's upcoming broadcasts). Have I left anyone out?
ReplyDeleteRadnich still can't say 'WAR EE YERS." Woyers, Woyers, Woyers, Woyers. AGAIN...Woyers, woy...
DeleteKrukow is an absolute shill. His "squat", gamer babe, grab some pine, meat, jimmy jackin' around, etc. are sooooo old and tired. He needs some new material.
ReplyDeleteGoogle "Kars for Kids" and read about how strange it is. I have to change the station the second I hear the opening notes. If I'm at a radio that doesn't have buttons, I turn it off. Every time.
ReplyDelete