Friday, December 11, 2015

The KCBS Jack Swanson Model; Cumulus Day-After XMAS Party Highlights; The Big 415 Media Friday Schmooze

 THE JACK SWANSON MODEL: Sure, not a lot of important news out there; Terrorism on the homeland; mass shootings; Donald Trump; Isis; 2016 Election; --On Friday morning, KCBS, devotes five minutes to some English woman in London talking about how our language has been altered by present-day texting.

Yeah, Jack, great stuff. No wonder you're busy ..I'm sure the rank and file is just thrilled.

*CUMULUS CHRISTMAS PARTY: Nobody got killed unless you saw the Byron Allen guy from KGO Radio interfering with the KSFO crowd during a Periscope session. Maybe he's auditioning...A few KNBR loots raided the beer keg late at the Hard Rock; "dudes" rules, I guess...One traffic woman from one of the dreaded 6 had apparently decided to have her max-2 drink chit at one: she can't hold down cheap tequila. On the other hand, a guy named Izzy got lucky in the parking lot outside. Awww, here's to a lifetime supply of SweetJack coupons.

*Cumulus drunk: two bottles of Bud.

THE BIG SCHMOOZE: It's raining and there's thunder and lightning--woo hoo, cue Bill Martin's 7 shitty forecasts on the 10 O'clock News...Raingear and blue jackets: a entire market has collective orgasm --they finally have something to talk about...Between the rain and Christmas time, fuck the news if you care in the Bay Area. Try the BBC or Drudge Report if you're looking for real news..."We really do need the rain", said KTVU's Dave Clark. Thanks Dave for such insightful info...About time for Gasia Mikaelian to fawn for the cameras on The 9. Gasia: the junior-varsity Darya...Speaking of the Golden Globes, Darya had a cool week. She read the Kennedy book to her boyfriend--favorite chapter: The Johnson Years...Jason Middleton: It's not just me that thinks you're an asshole. Ask Lobertini...A LONG COMMERCIAL: KNBR has the right to sell 500 hours of commercials an hour. Then again, the other morning, co-host Larry Krueger was pimping 20 minutes of time with some sports gambling shill. It was a PAID commercial designed to sound like actual content. What a sham, even by Knibber standards. But it does pay for brake jobs and overhead for the guy who cheated on his first wife and drives a Bentley ...By the way, it's the holiday season for Raddy--stay away from the Tenderloin...Did you hear? It's raining outside...The face of KGO-TV: Reggie Aqui: oh, please, God, no...Ronnnnnnnnnnn, Middleton and Ryan Scott have their holiday lunch soon: The overhead vomit bags have been installed at the North Beach Restaurant...Chubby Middleton: when he hauls ass it takes him two trips...Grumpy's, today at about 6: real party, real drinks, and most importantly, REAL broads...I got your stocking stuffer right here.



15 comments:

  1. Krueger reminds me of the 40-year-old guy that still lives at Grandma's house & thinks he lives independently. By the way, Lezzry, you're also fucken fat.

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  2. Who are the three broads?

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    1. They look like KRON 4 interns going to Dynamo Donut & Coffee. Probably getting Diarrhea Folsom a latte with extra Splenda and a jelly donut.

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    2. Anchor babies. Take all this free stuff just vote for anything with a D.

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    3. I'll take the one on the left. After a couple of more tequila shots I'll take the other two.

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    4. I hear ya. A "10" at 2 though can be a "2" at 10, if you've had too many.

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    5. Are those hookers from the Cumulus party?

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  3. "KNBR has the right to sell 500 hours of commercials an hour. Then again, the other morning, co-host Larry Krueger was pimping 20 minutes of time with some sports gambling shill. It was a PAID commercial designed to sound like actual content. What a sham, even by Knibber standards."

    There are two guys who pay for time on Ramey's show, who used to pay for time on Damon's show too. I can't believe you're just now noticing this.

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    1. For years they've been doing this. Ralph and Tolbert used to have a guy who did college football. I remember a caller asking why he wasn't on any more and Tom said KNBR couldn't pay him enough. I think that trend has probably reversed with Fan Duel, Draft Kings and other touts - and they'll pay for the airtime.

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  4. Rich, u r right about Martin. may times I have caught him with inaccurate temps. or rainfall. The guy doesn't do his homework like other folks in the Market and mails it in, and it shows.

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  5. You are too critical of Bill Martin. He's a steady, poised professional.

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    1. Crusty Ol' BillDecember 11, 2015 at 6:36 PM

      Hmph...yeah, so is a pile of dog shit. Pick up a fucken dog turd by the clean end & let me know when you're done.

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  6. I'm not sure what's happened to Larry Krueger. This week he said everything you can about the last Niners game except the obvious - the Bears lost it more than the Niners won it. I can appreciate that Larry's got four kids to feed, but if he's going pull his punches and sell everything put in front of him, pair him with Murph and get rid of the Grateful Dead guy - he's not doing anything anyway. Say what you want about Gary, but at least he's willing to give an honest opinion while Larry is only fooling himself if he thinks anyone who pays attention is buying his "takes."

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  7. Hey Ricky: I think the time has come to take some more strong swings at the Comical (some call it the Chronicle). I'm on the sfchronicle.com web site now and the marquee headline is about the New Mission Theatre dusting off its marquee for Star Wars. Seriously? There's a lot of other serious and important shit happening. Meanwhile in the NY Times, there's actual NEWS. Perhaps this is the Chronicle's admission that they can't compete with the big boys. But still, it sucks.

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  8. It's amusing how much KGO-TV promotes the new "Star Wars" movie. Sunday 12/13 at 11:30 p.m., the anchors breathlessly reported on the upcoming VIP premiere and showed a line of people queued to see the first showing. They always add the worthless disclaimer, "Star Wars is produced by Disney, the parent company of ABC7." Did these idiotic anchors become "journalists" to be on-the-air shills for corporate mass marketing? They ought to be embarrassed of themselves. Lazy and juvenile. I switch channels every time "ABC7" uses its newscasts to promote this movie.

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