KNBR, I have a sense, is going to change format: from all-sports to all-commercials.
With the exception of Giants, 49ers, and Warriors broadcasts, the venerable station will program commercial spots, 24/7 and only interrupt commercial with one to-two-minute bits from its various hosts as to now ruin the all-commercial format. When you have the momentum of listening to entertaining commercials, according to the station's salespeople, why ruin it with oblique thoughts from innocuous talk guys.
This format, says an Insider, would be truly revolutionary. Imagine sitting in the car and being able to listen to all! 1-800-Kars-For-Kids jingles? Damn, for free too! And you won't just get the standard version but the country, pop-singing, and free-for-all too! Then wait, before you know it, endless Chilton Auto Body, Murph's Fremont BMW, Tolbert's awesome Comcast, SweetJack, hey, we're having a party now, it's orgasmic!
A 24/7 all-commercial, all-the-time format would provide for innovative programming; I'm told even Lee Hammer, the Opps Mgr at KNBR, is mulling it with a host of Cumulus high tops who have come from Atlanta to go over the possibly impending format change.
Waldus McFuckface, a Cumulus Senior Accounts Manager from Green Bay, Wisconsin, currently residing in the Fisherman's Wharf Holiday Inn expressed confidence that the new format could be instituted soon. "Look what we did to KGO, dude, you know what we could do to KNBR--I mean, this could develop into a 'mechanism for San Francisco and the Bay Area."
Indeed, KNBR's all-commercial format could become iconic. It would generate more cash for the station and provide more stability in programming, which currently is bogged down by air talent talking on aimlessly about sports teams and having kids to become full in life. Who wants that, who needs that, for the 99th time, who cares? Nobody cares.
The all-commercial format will include all your favorite spots, but will take breaks for traffic reports and five-second sports updates by Kate T. Scott, who reportedly insisted to management she be included in any such real content aside from the commercials. Ms. Scott sat in on a secret meeting last week with Hammer, Peacon Patrick Connor and Bart Butwick, better known as the Giants mascot, Lou Seal. All came away positive about the impending change. Said the Peacon: "Dude, I AM FIRED UP about this, WAR EAGLE!"
The all-commercial switch would have to get FCC approval but is considered all but done. Other talk show hosts at KNBR were unable to comment, but "Powlie Mac", the half part of "Murph and Mac" offered a musical reaction via Skype: "I Can't Go For That", howled Paulie, who hails from East Bedford, New Jersey and smokes some rockin' tunes.
Gary Rabainiwitch, the station's 9-Noon, co-host also was unable to comment as he was attending a family research seminar in the Tenderloin.
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