Diarrhea in the Morning; KGO Radio's Insufferable Mark Thompson; It's Not 1983 Anymore, Mark; Friday Blunt

OK, KGO, YOU DID A REVAMP, CONGRATS, BUT DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE US RADIO FECES IN THE MORNING, LIKE THIS CRAP? Of Course you did.

I've listened for most of the week to KGO's latest iteration; a shift away from the obscure and useless to an attempt to be relevant and thought-provoking; you know, news-talk, that meaty format that was responsible for almost 30 years of #1 ratings and market dominance in the Bay Area. It's not 2000 anymore and KGO isn't its blue-chip special; you can't revitalize a decayed corpse but you can build on the offspring. Hope springs eternal and KGO has tried, I'll give them that. Pat Thurston and John Rothmann have been fine.

Then there's the morning. Oy vey what a catastrophe --a flat out embarrassment by a guy who used to have it but now spews out garbage and thinks his voice is the star of the show, meet Mark Thompson, or rather, Mark Thompson's pipes, a two-hour diarrhea of the airwaves that has about as much interest as a week-old burrito from the Daly City Chevron station. Actually, I'd settle for the burrito.

Thompson, the former KRON weather guesser who has been mumbling down in Ell-Lay for thirty years was brought back to KGO, I guess, because they think Thompson's audio feces would be popular and drive up interest and conversely, ratings. It won't happen. It can't happen. Thompson is in love with his voice and his chronic emphasis on that voice is out of control and therefore, the radio is dull and dreary. This isn't 1983 anymore, Mark, and it's been years since Flock of Seagulls had a hit. You of all people should know better.

Thompson has been trying his best to shake up the morning at KGO (10 AM-Noon) but there's no there there. You have a nothing burger talking about nothing. It's as evident as the suburban target logo on Target stores. Instead of just being himself and talking news, Thompson has relied on gimmicks and side-show banality; the little topics he's touched on are mere AP retreads that you hear some innocuous jock on FM bring up to fill time and play footsie with the listeners. Thompson is no better but a lot worse. It doesn't help matters that he's been paired with Bret Burkhart, KGO's 97 year-old news relic with all the personality of a Salinas strip mall. Burkhart was last relevant when Bill Clinton was in his first term. Thompson might as well be working with Gumbi as a sidekick because Gumbi would be more interesting.

Thompson doesn't talk nor relate. His voice is commanding and he could be a decent broadcaster, like, say, in news updates but his pontifications are nothing more than a bombardment of uselessness, a bore actually. It's like Thompson is saying, "Gees, I have these great pipes no matter what I say, it'll be just great!" Uh, no, Mark! You'd be better off talking about your hair plugs for heaven's sake. At least that would hold the audience. Tears for Fears mentions don't cut it --Mark, we're in 2018 in case you don't know.

Worse yet, Thompson allowed his pal, everyone's favorite mattress rep, Ronn Owens into the studio and Ronn did his usual blowing although this time it was especially gruesome and nauseating. The janitors at KGO, I'm told, had a collective vomit orgy in the main Cumulus bathroom. It was a mess just like Owens mass blowfest of Thompson's ego. Oh my god even the seagulls on Battery Street were fainting.

This much is certain. Thompson needs help in the worst way. It's only been a week but it feels like a year. Talk Radio is fairly easy and yanking a headline or two off SFGate to spawn listener interest makes sense. But so far, Thompson is meh times 10,000. He needs a jolt. Maybe he needs more rest too so as opposed to allowing limp biscuit Owens into the studio he should plea with Ronnnnnnnn for an extra temperpedic from Mr. Lowenstein and get more rest and better sleep because so far, KGO's morning man is a crap sandwich galore.

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