Friday, April 9, 2021

Top Secret Sounds from Inside the Press Box at Today's Giants Opening Day

INSIDE THE PRESS BOX at ORACLE PARK: IT'S OPENING DAY

*"Attention press: In the interest of social distancing, please respect the space between the hot dog machine and your pouch, especially you, Ray Ratto."

*"MARK WILLARD, KNBR, you have a phone call from JESSICA KLEINSCHMIDT on line 6."

*SUSAN SLUSSER from the SF CHRONICLE, meeting with LARRY BAER: "Larry, nice to be on this side of the bay, instead of being BILLY BEANE's guy, now I can be yours!"

*Attention Media: "PLEASE, NO cheering in the Press Box, if you are caught, you'll be removed from the area and forced to watch UCLA 2020 football games with BRIAN MURPHY."

*"ANN KILLION, Pam Baer on line 10."

*"Dear members of the press, please, after the game, restrict your bathroom visit to less than a minute, we need to clear out the restrooms for KRUK and KUIP's Post-Game Crap."

*KERRY CROWLEY whispering to close friend: "Hey MARTIE, isn't it such a beautiful day for baseball; I mean the ballpark, the hot dogs, the smell, the sound, I feel like I'm so lucky, I'm so special!"

*"BAGS, quit playing your 'Jeopardy' segments on YouTube, it's too loud."

*"EXCUSE ME, Mr. ADAM COPELAND, there's a rule here in the press box, you can't bring golf clubs in here unless Brian Murphy says it's ok, sorry dude."

*"Attention Press, please welcome Giants majority partner, CHARLES JOHNSON, who will be glad to give interviews and has complimentary President DONALD TRUMP, 2020 bumper stickers to hand out."

*"GREG PAPA, it's JOHN LUND on line #1, he needs you at the diaper room in section 107."

*"Attention media, TODAY'S GIANTS ATTENDANCE: 40, 180 tickets sold, 40, 179 in attention. Thanks for coming."

2 comments:

  1. Mr Ronnnnnnn Owens: Please move your cruise boat out of Cove. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. John Shea: Renel is calling from the announcer's booth. She
    would like you to bring her some lunch.

    ReplyDelete