Aunt Bee was a Bitch

Aunt Bea was a total bitch.

Good morning.

I'm not here to sugar -coat. The vast majority of you all that come here are not looking for sweetness. Every now and then, yes, I'll abandon my principles and post a benign nothing but that's rare.

I don't cater to the PC crowd. I don't give a crap about what Christine Craft thinks; Christine is a total pain in the ass. A certifiable witch with strong tentacles; a really good radio talk-show host but I can't stand CC; she'd screw me over like she does all the time if I came up with a cure for any medical malady, that's CC's MO. She just can't help herself.

So anyway, your beloved Spencer Christian of KGO, yeah, I wrote him down. Sue me. I'm not exactly Captain Kangaroo but people still rip me so I  an rip Spence. That's why you come here and for no other reason. If you want sweet sunshine, turn on Nikki Medoro.  

*The entire KGO (TV) today is sorta KRON-lite. They even share the same building.  Building a Better Bay Area, they can't even build a PTA meeting in Pleasanton. PC run amok. Merry Christmas, ABC/KGO workers, this is Disney, the Mouse has just cut another 50 jobs, happy holidays!

*Christine raves on and on about Cheryl Jennings. There's only one Diane Sawyer, Chris, and CJ ain't no Sawyer. Cheryl has all the authenticity of a Brisbane strip mall. I'm not here to make friends.

*If I were to write sweet nothings about all the friendly people here in this market, I'd be broker than I am.

*Aunt Bee was a bitch. If you watched her inside like I did, she was a total control freak. Just like Christine Craft and her ilk. 

*Medoro on KGO Radio set the world record for family/kid references the other day, at this count, she's at 242. Medoro doesn't realize that the vast majority of people who listen to her don't give a shit about her husband's bar habits.

*Chip Franklin, another financial commercial and you'll be Bernie Madoff. 

*If and when, Dan Ashley gets his extension? I don't give a crap anymore. Disney is not the Mouse that roared but the mouse that whored. Fuck them, and fuck Mickey too. 

*Happy Holidays my ass.

*Murph and Mac are taking a vacation and won't be back on KNBR until Jan. 4. Could they take their asshole PD, Jerry Crowe with them? And then Mike Hohler too? Please.

*Liz Kruetz on KGO: why almost all men consider killing themselves.

*I call her name, "Ming Sze" be because, A., that's her name! and B. she wants people at Circle7 to call her, "Ming", her chosen Asian name. Gotta problem with that? Sue me.

*Larry Beil has about as much originality as a week-old cumquat.

*Tom Cibrowski, the GM/VP at KGO-TV, you're STEALING money from Disney and that's hard to do. Maybe it's time to buy another desk from Sears.

*Trixie Watkowski, you make Aunt Bea look like one of the Manson chicks.

*By the way, Trix, hw about another PC hire? Your rank and file have a holiday bet going.

*Lisa Argen, the yenta on weekend weather I don't give a shit if your boobs are real or fake, nobody cares except Jethro in Hayward.

*Christine will chime in soon and tell us she had a date with Letterman back in 1976.

*I DON'T get paid on number of clicks. NOTHING. I write this because it's the truth and so help me God.

*"Youre such a woman hater!" --no, I voted for Hillary and Henry Tannebaum.

*Hey, Sal Castaneda? Boy are you a loyal soul. 

*Amber Eikel? Sounds like a girl scout leader from Union City.

*Wait, LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE PENYA!

*Yes, I love Black women TV anchors because they exude positive energy and are fine while the majority of white women anchors here have all the sanguine of a Richmond refinery. 

*KRON: TV News  version of a triple colonoscopy.

*Black women get what I'm saying. Ask Jobina.

*Caroline Tyler: outside of a free lunch,  there was really nothing there. 

*Cheryl Hurd: I'd give up 20,000 Cheryl Jennings for 1 Cheryl Hurd.

*When Cibrowski hauls ass, it takes him two trips.

*Roxie Roker, late actress, was on The Jefferson's? What a doll.

*Jobina, if your BF doesn't work out, Im available and will take you to dinner at In and Out.

*Sandhya Patel? See Sal Castaneda.

*As you can see, I'm a Christian.

*Murph and Crap: even Jews for Jesus HATE you.

*Jan Wahl: why people in Iowa still hate Jews.

*Gil Gross: more dreck, all the time. You're about as pleasing as Ronnnnnn Owens doing a #2 after lunch with Randall Bloomquist.

*Gross and Wahl: yentas supreme.

*Frank Somerville wants to get married again so he can start dating again. 

*KTVU news alert: more Persian interns coming.

*Mike Mibach: looks like a Burlingame coffee barista.

*Heather Holmes: San Leandro Panda Express manager. 

*Larry Baer: "I thought (Farhan) was Jewish!"

*Which is why Charles Johnson kept Larry on the payroll.

*Mayor London Breed: a fine-ass sista even if she thinks I suck.

*Renel Brooks-Moon: more chirpy than a Brian Copeland one-man show in El Sobrante.

*Look, you're still reading. You love this. Just pay up and make sure I can eat. 

*Otherwise, you have to read about Hank Schulman retiring.

*Hank Schulman: hemorrhoids are us.

*Raj Mathai new gig president of the San Jose Indian MILF society.

*BREAKING NEWS: Papa farts; Lund says he wants to smell. 

*Tolbert has a beer show. Sports? what the hell is that! 

*"Hohler's big pole" --"Hey pop, can I clean your driveway!?" 

Have a nice day.