My Two Cents on Labor Day Weekend 2018; Ronn Owens' Orgy; Sussman Drecko on KSFO; Herb Caen Factoid; Leah Garchik is No Herb Caen; Who actually read the Chronicle?; Castaneda Thrifty at KTVU; Willie Brown --Chron Quick Analysis; Owens NBR Escapade; Oxymoron of Year: 'The Best of Armstrong & Getty'; Friday 415 Media

**Ronn Owens: Oh Ronnnnnnnnnnnn, can you just give it up? You sound like crap (again) your eight-minute interviews border on infomercials considering half the interviewees are your last remaining buddies. The Gavin Newsom orgy was the latest kaka piece --the only thing missing was some brown toilet paper... and yo, Ronno, you really screwed up BIGTIME: not asking Gav if he would run for Prez in 2020. God, you've lost it but your ego remains intact.

**Brian Sussman and his KSFO Morning Show yentas: the traffic woman's voice sounds like a drunken sailor, I tell ya. And the obnoxious producer in the back who runs the show as if she was Count Dracula needs to get a reality check. By the way, Brian, is it true that Cumulus want to cut your salary in half? (Again!) Bummer, I tell ya!

**This Friday Morning on the KCBS Sports report just after 7, sports tonsil, Steve Bitker broadcast the tennis matches for the "French Open" Twice! I believe he meant "US Open"; perhaps Bitker had too much grey poupon on his French fries last night.

**In his day, Herb Caen was paid $300,000 a year to write six days a week with plenty of help and much after-dinner mints from Macy's. The loyal Royal was one busy guy. Rapping for Herb and chasing :Leah Garchik away from the doughnuts.

By the way: Garchik: slightly more attractive than Julia Child. (When she was alive)

Leah Garchik

By the way Part 2: Is Chronicle's Garchik hellbent on Getty party mentions, Marin society women, Mort Sahl, Will Durst, Berkeley Rep luncheons, KQED fundraisers, etc? Leah used to have an interesting column back around the time of the Clinton administration but she's no Herb Caen.

**Cumulus Media makes Walmart look like Levi Strauss.

**Does anyone read the Chronicle anymore? Seriously. I'm reminded of the famous Jason Robards line in "All the President's Men" when some news peddler was offering weather tidbits to which Robards (playing Ben Bradlee, EE of the WashPost) tells him to "give it to the SF Chronicle!) That was back in 1976 and to this day, nothing has changed.

**If you're in the city tonight late into the afternoon you might want to have a beer and snack at Grumpy's around 6ish just in time to watch a sideshow: the shivering, drunken, Cumulus crowd that may have been given the axe or may not have; as I've often wrote here, the end of the month is quite nerve-racking at the local Cloud Company.

**In the old days, bullshit minutiae called Natasha Zouves status would have been relegated to the dead file. In other words, who cares!

Sal Castaneda

**Tightwad Sal Castaneda over at KTVU wanted coffee and doughnuts --asked an intern to go fetch some munchies and when intern came back, ($15 tab) good old Sal didn't offer to pay the tab; Sal makes roughly $250K; intern gets Fox coffee cups and ZERO compensation. Classy Sal.


**Here's an inherent problem with the Chronicle people, the editors and execs who run the paper: while Willie Brown is now and then a decent bathroom read, despite his city and national connections, he's fairly unpopular in the suburbs like Walnut Creek and the outer Peninsula. He doesn't sell newspapers.

Sure, in places like Pacific Heights and Seacliff, Willie is nirvana but those folks don't read newspapers anymore and are mostly hanging out on their IPhones.

Oh, and this, they can't stand Willie Brown.

Willie Brown

EXTRA: Just a question:

Suppose one day, Mr. Brown is involved in some local/federal investigation; hypothetically, what's the Chronicle to do?

Stick Matier and Ross on the story? Like it couldn't happen, my ass.

Then Ms. Cooper, the EIC, will earn her salary.

**Hey Kenny Wardell, he of PR kingdom, why don't you ask Ronnnnnn why he continually stiffs the cooks at North Beach Restaurant? Not so long ago, Ronnnnnnn was coming back home from a memorial and called the restaurant and requested a couple prosciutto sandwiches to go. They provided and he accepted and took off without paying, expecting his order to be comped. Maybe he should go to lunch with Sal.

**Labor Day Weekend in the city: Empty Financial District. Only activity is dinner Saturday night at Tadich where the line will still be out the door but you can probably catch a seat at the counter. Extra bread for me and lots of butter please.

**Oxymoron of the year this morning on KGO: "The Best of Armstrong and Getty." Really? I'd rather listen to the travel show guy on Sunday.

**Ethan Bearman: Darwin was wrong.

**Michael Krasny is having a busy Labor Day: his wife is making Philip Roth fondue and Mike is going to interview Dr. Leonardo Mushkin about the history of farfel.