Thursday, December 22, 2016

Kvetching, Commiserating; Holiday Blues; Thursday Coffee; It's a Little Personal

Image result for man sitting in coffee shop gazing TRAPPED. That's how I feel. Tough week, tough month, tough year. Personal mostly, but professional too.

Why am I here now? Because I am, somehow, some way, I'm still here for better or worse.

The last few weeks have been incredibly depressing --so much so that I began to wonder if doing this was compromising my own personal life.

Wait a minute. What life. A life littered with enough personal drama that would make Woody Allen envious. Well, maybe not that envious.

This is officially my first digression but stay tuned, there's more to come.

Related imageThe election started it all off; that's when a certain loved one in my family became ill and had to be hospitalized --released, and again, hospitalized. They, the medical people, mainly the hospital thought they got it all fixed until they didn't get it all fixed and thus, they screwed up and we're back to square one; in the meantime, I'm shaking and hoping and praying and helping, assisting. That's what I do now. Sleep? Who can sleep when your daily life is interrupted, daily, by fear of that phone call from the hospital. Fortunately, I have two sisters who have come in and assisted --but it's tough, it really is. Especially around the holidays. I didn't really have a Thanksgiving. 2016 is a blur, can we get it over already? Please. Another digression: I just turned on KGO Radio and the simpleton in the early morning is talking about IPhones as the death toll in Berlin has increased --they're still looking for the lunatic but I guess IPhone chat trumps human life, it's a wonderful world out there.

*You know, not so long ago I was seriously thinking about dropping this blog thing but I couldn't --for one, I decided I couldn't really let many of you down because I see and hear from so many of you that write to me that you like reading about Bay Area media, the TV/Radio scene; its people; its TV Newscasts; its radio (whatever's left of that) You come here in droves, even those of you that can't stand me because you want to shoot the breeze, see what's up and down, who's getting screwed, who's really getting screwed and hosed, all of it, anyway you come here --it's a sort of town forum to vent and kvetch. The coffee could be a little better but it's passable, but I digress--again.

*Combined with all my personal mess I was still kicking myself again and again for a stupid mistake--I'm not going through all the details but I pride myself on really trying to get the information right and I failed miserably the other day. I was lazy and paid the price. So there. But that doesn't wipe away the stain of screwing up something so easily avoidable but I tell myself that in the big picture, I'll be stronger and not assume all my contacts have the correct tips and information, clearly this one didn't and I paid the price. Which in my case brings out the usual Internet trolls that relish my misfortune and prance on me waiting in line to kick me which isn't such a bad thing only the really nasty ones get almost orgasmic --sorta like taking wings off a dead fly. What a wonderful life. Ah, the Internet.

Related imageI am writing once again and working on fumes --it's a cliche but it's real. I cannot go back to civilian life just yet because I continue to care for her because she's the only person in my life that I can count on, thus, I'm there for her. There is no other choice.

Today is a new day. The sun is shining outside so I'll be a little more together and functional. I'm going to stop by the bagel shop and bring her a toasted bagel and lox, she loves that. And if I can make her smile and happy, that's a good day.

*To all of you, Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah. Have a safe, fun, relaxing time with your family and friends. And don't stress the small stuff, it's not worth it, trust me.

Image result for holding an old person's hand


  1. Rich, hope things get better soon for you. Wishing you all the best. Stay well and be positive as hard as that may be.

  2. Peace be with you my friend. My God bless you and yours.

  3. Best of luck with taking care of your mom, Rich. You're a good man and a good son and your mom appreciates the time and energy that you devote to her.

    Try not to sweat the mistake the other day. You took responsibility and owned up to it. That should be enough.
    Thoughts are with you and your mom during this holiday season.

  4. After my divorce, I lived with my dad who had Alzheimer's for three years and I led my life waiting for the next shoe to drop so many bad things were happening. This may not work for you, but when people would tell me how noble I was, I told them that my parents had taken care of me for 20 years, so a couple years me taking care of him was only fair. And I didn't spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with anyone because people didn't know how to treat me in light of divorce. Good news - while my dad died, he had a good 88 years, I'm back near my kids, job is good, and my ex and I are very amicable. Moral of the story - things get better and I hope they do for you too.

  5. One beautiful thing that has happened this week is that Dave and Gasia are gone and Pam Cook and Frank Mallicoat are sitting in for them...what a breath of fresh air on MO2.

    1. Frank Mallicoat seems like a nice guy but he's a little too milquetoast for me. Very non-threatning and jsut goes along with wha'ts going on. I guess he and Pam cater to the Walnut Creek crowd. I'll take Dave and Pam any day in the morning. I almost want to turn KTVU off in the mornings this week.

  6. 2016 started out so freaking Promising, then it turned out to be a Royal Turd! My little Companion, my Pup died, & me and my Spouse were Rear Ended on 580 last Friday, the Car was totaled, and was only 1 Month Old! But Hell...I'm still here, & feeling Blessed to still be!

    I "know" how you feel Rich, I lost my Mom in 2004, after a lengthy illness. Now I am trying to help my Father who is showing strong symptoms of Dementia. I'm like 10:30 though, both of my Parents Provided for Me, & my Brother...It is the Most I can do, is to help my Father. Hang in there Rich, I can't tell you it gets better, but you will get through it, knowing you gave your all! My thoughts & Prayers go out to you & yours Rich.

  7. What happened the other day on the blog happens, you're not the only one that make boo-boos like that. I know you try your best when it feels like you're dodging boatloads of vehicles on a 10 lane freeway. You do write the best media blog which gets to the point and not full of fluff you would expect from the media.

    I've been through the parental thing and it can be very difficult to chug along while being a caregiver and trying to hold a job. Wish you and your mon and family well and for a better year coming up.

  8. Rich, chiming in... you sound like I had written your account wth your Mom. I too went through something very similar wth my mother - Parknson's - over a 10-year period. Fortunately, Mom had the best care money could buy 100 miles away, I spenr every weekend visiting her for 3+ years. Mom was always there for my brother, sister and me;it was the least I could do. Brother and sister? Couldn't be bothered until Mom passed, then the hands were outstretched. More nightmares followed, but suffice to say, I wouldn't have missed one minute with Mom.

    God bless you for being there for your mom. Tiring, stressful, no sleep, you name it. But you will survive through this challenge, and everything in retrospect will be worth it. All the memories of your mom will last you the rest of your life, and after awhile, the pain will lessen.

    Prayers going out to you, Rich. I am glad you shared this with us. It helps, and know that many of your fans are here with you.

    Emma M.

  9. Rich--
    Years ago I left my dream job working at an SF TV care for my terminally-ill mom back home in SoCal. Hence, I no longer live in SF.

    But I'm glad I cared for her.

    We all gotta do what we gotta do for our moms/family. You are to be commended for being there for her. You would not be able to live with yourself if you aren't doing what you're now doing. Don't worry about your professional (blog) or personal/love life. Focus on your mom. You'll be glad you did.

    Peace and strength to you, brother.

    PS--I was a TV news photog in the 80's. I remember seeing you a lot in the press box and locker rooms at Giants & A's games...with your K-101 cassette recorder!

  10. Peace on Earth, Rich. Try and stay positive.

  11. Rich, I clicked your blog today, specifically to wish you a Happy Hanukka/Merry Christmas- I'm still doing it, because they're still happening, and you will be a part of them in whatever way you can. Regarding the state of your personal journey, we've not only 'been there'- we are there right now. It's excruciating, and we wish you and your dear mom the best.

  12. Rich, please don't beat yourself up over the mistake. It happens, we are all human. I didn't spend as much time as I could have with my Dad in his final three weeks at Stanford. I kick myself.

    I'm not doing that with my Mom as she gets closer to the end. I drive her around etc. You should be proud that you provide for her, especially those bagels! I'm sure that makes her happy.

    Happy Holidays


  13. My mom died when I was three years old. I have fewer than a half-dozen memories of her and no siblings. I guess my msg to you would be to cherish your lifetime of family and the luxury of your relationships. I'm sure my life would have been different had she lived, but who knows if I would have been a better or lesser person. We all do the best we can.

    I hope you can reflect on your pluses and try to enjoy this holiday season with your family.

  14. From what I have seen, Rich, you are right a hell of a lot more often than you are wrong. Perfection is usually a goal, an ideal, and it is also an impossibility in most aspects of life. At some point, I hope you are able to forget about this week's "hiccup."

  15. I hear you, Rich. My mother is presently in a nursing home, having come from the hospital a month ago. Was planning to take her home today but she fell out of her bed in the night so the discharge has been put on hold. The last seven weeks have been hell, to put it lightly. It's one day at a time for now, I guess as it should always be. The holiday season has a hollow effect for me this year. Again, I understand what you are going through.

  16. I know this is a difficult time for you but please know you're doing an important service. Without your blog there is ZERO accountability and responsibility to these stations who think it's OK to produce substandard TV news.

  17. You couldn't have picked a better photo image at the foot of your comments today, Rich! It's a perfect example of a picture being worth one thousand words. In that one photo, not only your own loving care for your owm mom is summarized, but also so many of the comments from your blog's followers who have struggled with the same tough parent-child issues.

    Keep your Mom's bagel express running full steam and treasure every moment that you two can STILL share and already HAVE shared! Here's all the best for you and your mom in 2017.