WE INTERUPT BREAKING NEWS AROUND THE WORLD; The Supreme Court has ruled, 5-4, that Same-Sex Marriage is legal in all 50 states; NY Law Enforcement is on the hunt for the last remaining prison escapee --the other fugitive was cornered and shot dead; Terrorists affiliated with ISIS have struck a French Power Plant; A gunman in Tunisia has killed 38; --in spite of these developments, KGO Radio, under the auspices of Cumulus Media, bring to you this Saturday Night, "Cooking with Ryan Scott."
1. Ryan tells you how to get giddy with arugula --complete with guest host, Cheswick Goudamouth
2. Ryan and Secret Asian Man play footsie with a pot of steaming Chinese broccoli --DUDE!
3. Ryan describes in detail to the vast KGO audience how he once became forklempt with Michal Bauer in the back of Liverpool Lulls.
4. Scott tells a story in which he and Ronn Owens seduce the manicurist on Union Street for a free pedicure in exchange for Scott's homemade Ukraine borscht --with extra red cabbage!
5. In a stunning display of culinary creativity, Ryan fondles a box of chocolate-covered strawberries simultaneously singing David Bowie's China Girl with Secret Asian Man!
6. Ryan invites John Dickey into the studio to make homemade TOAST!
7. Pissed off over word that Secret Asian Man is in studio, Mayor Ed Lee orders his tactical civilian squad down to 755 Battery to perform citizen arrest; undeterred, Scott rounds up 55 pounds of Kung-Pao Chicken and a case of PBR to Mr. Lee to soften blow. It works.
8. In outward rage over various people telling him to get the hell out of the studio, Scott threatens the entire newsroom of an hour of Maureen Langan unscripted.
9. To counteract move, Hangin with Langan chick infests studio with triple combo of Ronn Owens, Copie Copeland and Ronnnnnnn's latest gadget man, Iphone A Misto.
10. Secret Asian Man informs Ryan that he's actually Caucasian Jason Middleton --KGO's New Tech, Business, and Chinese Food Editor.
WE NOW GET YOU BACK TO REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING
Don't forget the Gawd-awful infomercials that make up the bulk of the weekend programming,
ReplyDeleteAnd who the heck does a RADIO cooking show? Ryan ain't even close to Gene Burns. At least Gene entertained us with interesting folks and often broadcast from Napa, Carmel, etc. RIP, dear Gene, we miss you.
Screaming woman commercials now run non-stop on 910 and seem to have left KGOne. I do enjoy Handel on the Law on 910.
I remember Scott make some halfass comment about Gene's passing, then it was right to Scott's shit show. We miss you, Gene!
DeleteRyan Scott is a total Ass! If he vanished, I wouldn't miss him at all! As Ronald McDonald recently said, "Damn, dude, is that all you eat is Big Mac's?!? There's enough Big Mac seeds stuck to your ass to read the Bible by Braille!!"
ReplyDeleteI'm convinced this jerk has pictures. How else does he keep a show on a 50k station? Yells into the mic, secret yellow man (lame) and invites his buddies to advertise their restaurants for free. He must have something on the Dickies.
ReplyDeleteThe News Department is undergoing extensive cutbacks, but the Cooking Department is doing well!
ReplyDeleteSomebody has to cook the books.
DeleteI would call KGOne a shit show but a shit show has a direction.
ReplyDeleteYou know, there's more to radio in this market than Chef Ryan Scott. Why not find other, more important topics, to expose. Scott is a hack. Why waste the space here? There are more important things to write about.
ReplyDeleteRather hear Tim Montemayer discuss math.
ReplyDeleteI don't have an issue with a food-themed radio show. Food is a popular topic. What I have a problem with is the talk show host, Ryan Scott. I don't like him. Another commenter in the past labeled him as "frat boy" and I think that fits. He's too hyper for me. I think he would appeal to younger people, such as 20-somethings, but most of us that listen to talk radio are middle-aged or older. I shut off the radio when Ryan Scott comes on. He's irritating to me.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is he is probably paying for the time slot. Isn't that the business model for the rest of the weekend? I
ReplyDelete