Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Welcome to the Yonn Glowens Show

GGGGGGGoood morning it's the Yonn Glowens Show and in our first hour, we go to the live line, on the phone direct from Washington, we have Bliss Matthews from MsNBC, Bliss, what's gotten into Barack Obama, I mean, is he reading the polls or not? We'll Yonn, it's a case of what my boss, Tip O'Neil used to tell me, you have to run the show not your advisers and BO got too many Indians and not enough chiefs...Thanks Bliss...We'll be back soon, your calls, after traffic with Goose McNeil....One more item: have you ever dreamed of a cruise? Do you love to eat, fart, and just have a blast? We'll join me on a luxurious Mediterranean cruise...We leave the port of Stockton July 4th, take a flight to Miami and cruise the Med complete with endless nights and days, cocktail parties with me, and all expenses included, to cruise with me, call 555-555-5555 --Blugosi Travel and say you want the Yonn Glowens cruise info and we'll see you on the 4th!...Back to the show: Our tech guy, Jimmy Vega talks gadgets and Jimmy, I gotta tell you, I just got my 9th IPhone10 and it seems great but it's kind of slow--should I be worried: Not really Yonn, you just give it time, let it warm up and boom, it'll delight the heck out of you. It's really a neat gizmo!...Thanks Jimmy, let's do this, we'll take another break and coming up?  Are Lindsay Lohan and Justin Bieber an item? Do you think Putin is overplaying his hand in Ukraine? And we talk about a guy in Buffalo who talks to his dog--what to make of it...IT IS the Yonn Glowens Show and we'll be right back....We are back, a community reminder: on Tuesday, June 9, we're giving away tickets to the Nellie Show and be the 12th caller and you win...OK, back to the show, we go to Sheila in Union City, hi you're on with Yonn: "Hi Yonn, first-time caller, long-time listener, I really can't stand Justin and Lindsay but I do think they'd make a great couple--I mean, she can totally help him out!"...You gotta point Sheila, (cut), but do we really wanna go there, I mean in light of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, I think all Hollywood is just crazy....OK, thanks Sheila...we're going to the news and traffic update with Mintz Meyers in the newsroom and we'll be back to talk about a new study that sez you can lose weight by having sex with the boss--do you believe it? They had a poll and a lot of you said yes!...We're back, before we talk about the study, on the line, Lieutenant Gov. Gavin Newsom, Gav, are you running for Governor or not: Yonn, you always get me going on that one, right now all I can say is that I'm working for the people of this great state and that's the only thing on my mind---never say never though...Thanks Gav for the insight, reminds me of the time my good friend, Evan Goldstein told me with wine, until it's time, let it age and then it'll sizzle...Bart in Cloverdale, you want to talk about cell phones: Hey, Yonn, great show today, I always listen to you on the way to my wife's vet clinic--we just celebrated our 70th wedding anniversary!, (cut), we'll, Bart that is great news and congratulations, folks, we need to take a break, check the news and in ten minutes, we have The Amazing Kreskin live in the studio talking the future, cryonics and his take on the 49ers...Back in a few!

12 comments:

  1. Took me a minute (sometimes I'm slow) but once I saw where you were going, had to go back and start again.

    Perfectly caught his show. It's sad.

    Once Yonn retires, you think he'll actually book and pay for a cruise?

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  2. You have to do karel

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    1. Yes, Rich, you have to do Big Gay Karl & Friends, including his Texas trailer-park wife Koren, his crossbred nephew & niece Jock & Heffer, and don't forget his drunken Irish sprite MoMo Lagoon, aka Mark Pitta in drag.

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  3. "MsNBC"? Is that more Lieberman illiteracy or a dig at feminism? Truly, I can't tell.

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  4. No reference to pedicures? Good one Rich. This reminds me of many years ago when the disingenuous black man tried to do a parody of Ray Taliafero using the name "Jay Talahasee". It was a disaster. Folks thought he was serious and were calling in to complain about this new talk show host "Jay Talahasee". The disingenuous black man had to stop and explain the shtick which must be embarrassing for a supposed professional comedian. If you have to explain a joke you're not that good!

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    1. "Headliners on the headlines" should be titled "Never heard of them on the headlines" or "Democrats on the headlines". Garbage.

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  5. You've got talent, Rich. Now but you need luck!
    “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

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  6. More shots at Ronn. Don't you have anything better to do than rip this guy Rich? How do you really feel about him? By the way, he's said that he hasn't read your blog for over two years. I don't think he likes you much anymore! When did it all go bad between you two old compadres?

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  7. Last week you heralded someone for calling Owens "Blowens," and now you're calling him "Glowens." Original much? This isn't even funny.
    I agree that Owens is a bore, but who cares? No one is listening.

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  8. So this is an attempt at satire? Isn't satire supposed to be funny?

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  9. Less than a week before the Giants season starts, and that should be fun. Just make sure you mute your TV during the home games whenever that absurd, doltish woman, 'Amy G.' comes along with her insipid, lame features from the dugout.. And by the way, what's this 'AMY G..' thing all about? AMY G! Is she some kind of hip hop start now too?

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