Thursday, February 6, 2014

Hey, Did You Hear The News? It's Raining; Fart Noises; The Turtle T-Shirts at KGO-TV; Turtle Mania; Bristow Thinks He's Henny Youngman; PIX Chick Sex Patrol; Team Coverage And My Nightmare Involving Eve Plumb; Thursday Reflections

 Oh golly gee they're having orgasms!

The "Storm Desk" is finally a palpable outlet. "Team Coverage" is mighty, mighty. Pretty soon the inevitable Mill Valley creek shots and kids on the street playing in the wet stuff. Pull out the blue parkas and get ready for the live shots. Schmuck from the NWS says February models indicate a trend to higher than average precipitation.

Prepare for floods. Too much water. Big rig accident on 880. But, we need the rain. Mike Pechner alert! 1-3 inches this weekend alone and no, I'm not talking about John Holmes. The news vans are parked in front of the Half Moon Bay 7-11. Dude!

*At KGO-TV there's a lot of people asking why some staffers are wearing t-shirts with pictures of turtles on the front. Yeah, I know, it's weird. Code for something.

*In 2008, KGO Radio had over 30 AE's, (account execs)--now they have 4. How's that new format working out? When the mattress company splits and they inevitably will because you're headed for under-a-2- status, the next Christmas party will be in the Knibber lunchroom.

*The most irrelevant sports event in history: The Pro-Am down in Pebble Beach which lost its main luster when Bill Murray decided to depart way back when. Meanwhile, the only media that still covers it are the dude boys from the Cumulus sports outpost and a few scribes who love the free food and picking up chicks in the Tap Room.

*Big day on the Owens show: first hour, Ronn will talk gadgets with Leo LaPorte; ask women from Pleasanton if they prefer older men over younger man; then do a quick phono with Evan Goldstein about the merits of a Cabernet over a Zinfandel. That's the first fifteen minutes.

*The old blind guy that can't sleep at night has been replaced by a younger blind guy that can't sleep at night. Maybe they should buy some SweetJack ding-dongs.

*The fat chick with the hat and the foodie chap. What a combo!

*The other day at KRON the news director was walking around the newsroom and a whole shitload of people began to run toward the break area. One of them was wearing the turtle t-shirt. Notice a pattern? (Trust me in a few weeks you'll figure it out.)

*Hey, Bristow: you're not that funny. Then again, unlike Bunger, at least you're not angry.

*KCBS, the traffic on the 8's? promos--are you that that paranoid? The other guys are so yesterday they're playing backgammon in the food lounge.

*If Savage sounds a little extra grumpy it's because he's itching to sue Sean Hannity because Hannity's been this much close to a libel suit. Hey Mike: btw, more spaghetti recipes, less Obama talk. If only Sussman knew that recipe.

*More turtle t-shits at PIX too. But they're more clandestine.

*Liam Mayclam: The Irish Red Reed.

*Brian Murphy: If he got paid by how many times he uttered dude, he'd have Bill Gates money. Dude!

*Hey, loudmouth ---if you're going to try to hit on the PIX chick do it at some quiet place, say, Hunan. Kokkari is way too public and besides, you have a tab there.

*I woke up the other day from a really terrible nightmare: the Kaiser whore was trying to rescue Eve Plumb off the top of me. Needless to say their was no happy ending.

*Alison Janney: Every man's first wife.

*The geniuses at KQED think a relevant idea of local programming is another Josh Kornbluth experiment and a restaurant show with the blond with big boobs. Maybe they too should begin wearing the turtle shirts.

*Can someone please explain to me the reason why Wayne Freedman thinks his shit doesn't stink? The only sensible thing you've ever done is store the 900 Emmys in the garage. After that, ugggg.

*This just in: Aaron Pero has a heart--he bought the staff lunch at the Van Ness Burger King. Soon after, inexplicably, he began yelling and screaming.

*Chef Ryan Scott went to do a #2 at his restaurant. It was not caramelized. Shit happens.

*Bold new programming on the Gil Gross Show today: Gil will interview his wife about the upside of cryonics.

*Kate Scott is to creativity is what Woody Allen is to reading Highlights.

*CSNBA Insider, Andy Baggarly, is headed to the Arizona desert to cover Giants Spring Training: Andy has real good insight: last year, he reported Timmy Lincecum thinks fart noises are funnier than obese gamer babes.

*Hey, did you hear the news? It's raining. And we need the rain. We really need the rain. Why? Because we need the rain.

*Follow me on Twitter because we need the rain.

*Tips, desperate women, cash :

Caution: Reading 415 Media could cause premature ejaculation and herpes simplex 9.


  1. The "Tour Stop" at Pebble lost its luster a long time ago. Like when Bing died.

  2. Baggarly comes across as a pompous ass, and he is not the wisest baseball writer.

    1. Andy Baggarly appeared on Jeopardy! and won a few times on the show. I didn't know it was him until he told Alex Trebek he had written a book about the Giants' 2010 championship season. Oh, that Andrew Baggarly.

      -David K.

    2. I saw him on Jeopardy. Baseball writing vs. Jeopardy, Baggarly is better at Jeopardy.

  3. "Schmuck from the NWS says February models indicate a trend to higher than average precipitation. "

    Rich, why is it that a scientist doing his job for the National Weather Service is a "schmuck"?

  4. When savage starts doing his non-political in his new day part I start looking for other options. He and his "I don't do what they do" act is already getting old. The other guys are boring too, but his act is tired already. At least the Hannity thing is a fight.

  5. Btw,I was too shocked to read the compliments from three people on this here blog ( I saw and read you all) to thank them. Thanks!.

    I'm a beloved bay area liberal icon. Well? pass it on!

    1. No Stan, you're a proven horse's ass who has been banned from most of the other local blogs.

    2. Really? name them. What was a few is just the one I don't even read now.
      So I guess that puts a hole in your theory.

      Oh,and that ONE? put it the "We cant afford to make Larry Baer unhappy" post. I guess eating disorders,alcohol,and anxiety are too real to talk about his Giant players..Eh.
      Am too beloved!

    3. Oh,and that ONE? put it the "We cant afford to make Larry Baer unhappy" post. I guess eating disorders,alcohol,and anxiety are too real to talk about his Giant players..Eh

      Stan, your thoughts are still as scrambled as ever. Do you deliberately write gibberish?

    4. I asked you to name ALL the blogs you claim "banned" me. You then showed your poor reading comprehension skills. Everything that takes thought is gibberish to you.

  6. Meanwhile, Jon Carroll, in the spirit of duplicity that permeates the Bay Area media, once again waxes poetically about...cats. Again.

    F*ck the Chronicle. Why is it that things like the Drudge Report, the Huffington Post and others of this ilk are becoming more attractive than reading the Blahnicle?

    Actually, I'd rather see and hear more of that whiny sow known as Jan Wahl. Where the hell did whoever find her?

  7. Anon@10:58, you better check your dictionary for the meaning of duplicity.

  8. Great point about Savage. I like the creative genius of his bipolar personality. Its the downside that is not so nice and causes me to listen to him once every several weeks to see if he's done crediting himself for his greatness and genius. Hannity is a talking-points fairy goddess for "conservative" talking points. Good luck winning a defamation suit. If Savage won, then that would open him up to many more such suits from many other individuals who Savage has slimed.

    1. Conservatives eating their own. That tragic right-wing pattern continues, much to the delight of the liberals!

  9. We're due for a big storm starting Friday night. It's supposed to drop as much as four inches in the north bay! WOO HOOO!

  10. Liam Mayclam or Pierce Morgan-which is the More Annoying Twit?

  11. Rich, say what you want but I love to look at Leslie. She's heavily made up for the camera (lots of skin damage from acne that you can see in person) but she's a lust object for me.

  12. OK, Rich and everyone else. Here's the deal with the "his shit doesn't stink" meme. I am tired of hearing this meme constantly misstated by the ignorant.

    Haven't you, Rich, or anyone else who misuses this old meme, ever spent time in the military, or in an office environment?

    When you say "Wayne thinks his shit doesn't stink", what you are actually saying is that Wayne feels he has no power. No mojo. His shit doesn't stink. It doesn't bother anybody. No one is affected by it. What you are saying is that Wayne thinks he is powerless. Is that what you're trying to say?

    It makes no sense.

    If Wayne's shit stinks, on the other hand, that means everyone beholden to Wayne smells it and has to do something about it. His shit stinks. We, or you, or I, had better do something about it, 'cause it stinks. He's a presence. Get it?

    To sum up: "Wayne's shit doesn't stink" = Wayne is a zero. "Wayne's shit stinks" = Wayne is a guy that you got to deal with.

    Are we CLEAR on this, people?

    And a PS: Liam Mayclem's shit DOESN"T stink. He's a douchebag. He pollutes the airwaves. He's a smarmy asshole. He brings down whatever project he is involved with. He's worthless. I don't know who Red Reed is, but he can't be as douchey as Liam Mayclem. Liam Mayclem had best never been born.

  13. Its kind of fun to read posts of a month ago or so on the drought. The Weather data posted showing the coming collapse of the California economy.
    Now?..the mudslides...
    The media cant make a living on "everything's the same today as yesterday"...