Bay Area Weather TV/Radio People Get Orgasmic Over Fake Rain

 I should know better by now.

I should know by now that even the slightest bit of sprinkles accompanied by a few moments of actual rain becomes cause of great importance here in the Bay Area.

Yes, I know we're in a drought. I think I've heard that a few times.

Therefore a measly rain event like Wednesday deserves "Storm Watch" treatment because even if there's little precipitation, newsroom personnel and frantic reporters maybe want to pretend their is actual rain-- I mean good, old-fashioned rain, the kind that comes down heavy and produces accidents on the freeways and bridges. Which in turn adds to extra-spicy "Storm Watch" coverage, cue the over-scene news choppers and extra reports from Sal at the traffic desk and live shots from the schlub reporter off the freeway in Blue Canyon.

Could you imagine if there were real honest-to-god rain and reporters were required to report on real actual rain, the kind of rain that doused the Bay Area on Halloween and the Giants parade? Now that's rain! Not some wimpy sprinklings from the heavens that our esteemed weather people here have decided is precip-worthy of Storm Center status.

Call me naïve. I'm still blown away over the sheer amount of wasted time and money and energy of fake weather here. In Buffalo, they got weather and then some with 19,000 feet of snow and assorted miserable statistics like roads closed and schools shut down and airports looking infinitely like a scene from that movie with Burt Lancaster and George Kennedy where snowdrifts had to clear a runway in the midst of a blizzard. Here, we get a mild case of drizzle and everyone's chomping at the bits.

Manufactured "news"; I cannot believe, (still), how much time we waste on such fake enterprises? God forbid, we didn't have more real, genuine news that would be welcomed by consumers who know a good thing about false energy and today's weather event is nothing more than a real fake Rolex.

The weather guys and girls may all be excited and extra gushy and giddy but the rest of the Bay Area is wise to 'ya all. Get back to us when Marin gets flooded.

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Weather Pussies in the Bay Area TV/Radio Department

 We have been told it's going to be hot for the next few days. Record-breaking heat. Extreme conditions. Spare the Air days. Blah, blah, Blah.


OK, so now what?


Exhibit A: Stan Bunger on KCBS expressing an almost glee-club giddiness bordering on the absurd. Bunger was, once again, breathless as he repeatedly told listeners Monday morning "it's going to get downright hot...even at the coast!" Thanks Stan --once, twice, three times ...? At one point, Stan's excited voice sounded like a high-school kid on his way to the Senior prom. I mean, seriously now!


Lawrence Karnow, the designated weather guy from KPIX5, was a little more dignified but nonetheless star-struck: "RECORD TEMPERATURES!" --which begs the question, Haven't we been here before? Don't we know this is a region where we get extended heat waves even in May? The answer of course is yes but the gee whiz element of local tonsils remains mind-boggling--like:


*The inevitable live shots from the Walnut Creek fountain, the Livermore ice-cream store and the roofer in Concord: "Hey, pretty hot up there?" No, not at all...matter of fact get me a jacket!


*Fire danger: Stay away from the hills and don't have a BBQ on Mt. Diablo --enough said. But noooooooooooo, we need background reports, comprehensive, compelling and the all-encompassing, TEAM COVERAGE! Unnecessary roughness.


You want Real News? This is real and surreal and worthy of real Team Coverage. It's the kind of weather news that could be made for TV and get some viewers, normally hooked to the Weather Channel or National Geographic smack dab on Bay Area TV channels: while we experience a few days of May heat, it's snowing--SNOWING in Denver and the Rocky Mountains. 2 feet of snow and a deluge of rain in the Midwest. Closer to home, it was 28 degrees near Tahoe this morning.


How about a concise 5-minute package on the weather extremes? I'm neither pro nor anti Climate Change, I don't know much to comment on the matter but I do know unusual and seems to me we're in that mode today yet we get very little coverage on this phenomena--why? Cost? Lack of sexy? I'm willing to bet the cost of KTVU's Bill Martin's junket to the White House last week for a play and tell with the POTUS was far more expensive than Martin, a "certified" meteorologist, giving us a couple of minutes breakdown on why and how it's hot here and snowing in Colorado and freezing in Tahoe; instead we're left with the same old tired act of heat wave actualities that we've grown accustomed to mixed between traffic reports and Muffy the Dog rescued from the Stockton train tracks.


The Bay Area Weather mafia is orchestrated by a bunch of weather pussies. Talk about the proliferation of useless information. We know it's hot and it's going to be hot for a few days before the fog returns which it will and Stan Bunger's voice of glee will conform to normal standards.


Are Floridians deluged, daily this time of year with endless shots of rain drenching Miami Beach? Hell no. Do Seattle people get live shots from Downtown with panoramic views of the same? No, because rain, torrential rain is a constant in both towns. The real story would be if Seattle's temperature was in the 80's while Miami was 68 and zero humidity.


I am AMAZED, still, by this weather laziness on local media. Feed the masses the tripe, they will swallow it in because they know no better. And doth protest you'll get the suckers in PR forced to tell the bottom feeders, this is what the viewers want. Bullshit.


No, it's what YOU GUYS want. Be creative for heaven's sake. How about a little analysis and perspective --that you continually force-feed the public with the SAME.OLD.TIRED minutiae is not only lazy, it simply doesn't look nor sound right--quit acting like a bunch of weather pussies and get back to us when you get real news.


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