Warriors' Victory Parade TV Coverage Was Predictably Gruesome; KTVU's Loud Roberta Gonzales Doesn't Disappoint; KRON's Dumas Takes Multiple Selfies; And ABC7 "Builds a Better Bay Area" on Market Street; Full Rundown

PARADES ARE FUN. From a pure civic standpoint, theyre like ice cream and cake with a bunch of whip cream. From a TV News angle, they're further enhanced by blimp-chopper shots and human masses filling the streets and confetti falling down, say on Market Street.

All you need is a bucnh of fat white guys wearing Draymond Green and Steph Curry Warriors jerseys. Cut to Downtown SF on Monday with blue skies and hotter-than-hell conditions and giddy TV reporters pretending to "cover" a sports-news event.

Welcome to the Warriors' victory parade, live and in color.

Predictably, it was as gruesome a TV event as ever. This is nothing new. When you have an alleged KRON sports anchor, Jason Dumas, taking massive selfies with the players virtually all morning, you know you're in for trouble. This isn't "60 Minutes", I get it but does it have to be a sporting mosh pit? I didn't expect to see gooey and doofus-looking Roberta Gonzales on KTVU dissecting Steve Kerr's political future and Roberta didn't disappoint. Of course she didn't.

Desperate KTVU had Roberta at the parade for their coverage because as we all know, this is prime-cut Roberta. She's been the biggest Warriors fan there is, for what, the past few weeks, so get to Robby and forget she fucked up naming Montgomery Street as "Monterrey" street multiple times. Perhaps Countess Gonzales was too busy minding the streetside tequilla villes.

I tried to watch as much of the proceedings as possible but as soon I surfed normally reliable, Cheryl Hurd, of NBC Bay Area basically screaming her bejesus lungs out at Mr. Curry, I gave up. I'm not long for this kind of shit, it goes at the heart of our democracy. There's too much happy guys and girls chucking loads full of Hennessey on live TV, with reporters glee. Combined with Draymond's multiple F (fuck) bombs (which wasn't that bad) you have an out-of-control event. It wouldn't be that gross if there were a smidgen of rhyme and reason but that was gone jessie at the first scene of the crime.

For the record, NBC Sports Bay Area and their parade of misfits (including Laura Britt as leader of the pack) had the best and most comprehensive coverage if you can call a whole bunch of people trying to project news at a mass-humanity-shitfaced spectacle. At least NBC Sports Bay Area doesn't pretend to be anything other than it is; a client (cable) of the Warriors who provide its cable telecasts and be forefront in its post-victory euphoria.

The other fawning outlets and assorted cheerleaders posing as correspondents is another story. Or in this case, no real story at all, just a wide shot (and requisite blimp/chopper shots) overhead and all the screaming and yelling in between. The players were shitfaced and drunk, at least they had an excuse, but the alleged media mass that maybe could have peeked a bit for a story (corral the coach, Kerr, and ask a few pertinent social questions, say?) was never in the game plan. I know that I'm asking for a lot but shit, what's a media blogger to do?)

We're supposed to laugh off the banality of KGO (ABC7) coverage referring to all this as a "building a better Bay Area" component. That's right, some doofus schmuck on 6th and Market thought he was some Charkes Kuralt wannabe and spouted the Disney bullshit at Warriors-parade central. I don't remember the guy's name which is just as well. He's probably destined for El Paso any day now.

At least he got the name of Montgomery Street right.

Back to the desk.