KGO-TV Newsroom Memo From 415 Media: Shut Up; Trixie Stirs Up Trouble But...; Larry Beil Low Down: As Phony As They Come; Mother's Day Bluntness; Five Points Five; Somerville and Ibanez; Ken Wayne KRON Reality; Makovec Is Good But Not That Good; Jon Miller is First Giants' Tonsil 'On Assignment'; Monday Rundown

MONDAY PM RUNDOWN

Memo to the vast minority KGO-TV newsroom midgets: be happy that someone has your back and quit running your mouths and spreading dumb crap. And be weary of her highness who thinks she has me over a barrel --at least I'm not responsible for Mickey Mouse writing settlement checks well over millions of dollars.

She's running out of time and the new GM guy (even though he doesn't have a clue) has her on a fast track to Fresno where she once pounded cheeseburgers and spread her wings.

By the way, Trix, Keeshan was right. What a crap full of drama you are not to mention LOUSY people skills. You really outta work for Cumulus.

Larry Beil

*Funny, I write a mostly positive, innocuous plug for a weekend sports gig at Circle7 and the whole place is aghast, like as if the guy threatens supreme jerko, Larry Beil. Beil should know that his value to the station is strictly as a news reader, sports too. He is heavily disliked by staff who have now seen him in action when he treats everyone like shit and thinks his own feces don't smell.

Beil is a pompous, angry, demented, vile person incapable of showing humanity and virtue to people at the premises. His on-air persona is completely, utterly, PHONY and he's not fooling anyone but himself. He should go to Hawaii --the big island where the volcano is pooping so he can get a whiff of his own medicine.

*I COULD have and should have taken some time off due to the cold, hard, stark reality of a Mother's Day without a mother but I'm here for those of you that come here expecting media news and commentary.

Writing this makes the pain deaden somewhat but the pain exists; yes, everything is put into perspective and big things tend to be little things and really put dumb, Larry Beil things into their proper file like the one either near or under your desk.

*DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IT:

I'm a little angry today; the good news is that my dental angel and his band of assistants gave my teeth some much-needed maintenance --they're a little sore, hence my mood right now but I'm running down certain items and condemning issues like:

1. Getting rid of the horrible window commercial played every five minutes: Please, someone kill the spot before I blow my own volcano.

2. I don't care nor am I the least bit interested in the Royal Wedding. I had only mild interest when Princess Di was hanging around Prince Charles because they both seemed larger than life--the current crop of players look like amateurs; even Robin Leach is bored.

3. As long as I'm bitching aloud, how about really telling KPIX morning yenta, Neda Iranpour, that she needn't ALWAYS report the weather news with a giggle in her voice. God, it would be so enjoyable if she just merely gave a straight, to-the-point, concise, weather report. No, that would be simply intolerable and a threat to humanity.

4. Frank Somerville: stock down. And it has nothing to do with the gibberish spouted by some asshole trolls who claim to work in your newsroom. No, Frank, take it from me, straight and simple: if you're going to tell a friend of yours that you're there for them, then by god, be there. Don't spout bullshit, I know this person real well; they're scuffling right now.

5. Mark Ibanez: see Frank Somerville.

*Ken Wayne reader comment: "Enough about Ken Wayne, are you infatuated?" The reader brings up a great point: truth is Ken Wayne is no Da Lin.



*Anne Makovec is a decent, better than ordinary TV News anchor but she doesn't have the chops to carry a fulltime morning news show; even one as diminished as the KPIX Morning Show. Anne is perfect on Sunday. Dear God, KPIX, did you see the morning May Sweeps? Ouch.

Anne Makovec

*TELL YOU WHAT: This is not the material you'll get in Ben Fong Torres; it's OK, BFT has some fans that hang out in the Haight and were participants at Altamont --Ben is fine at writing press releases and blowing occasional kisses to Ronn Owens and Mickey Luckoff.

Funny, Luckoff used to be relevant when he was manning KGO and hosting Christmas parties but soon fell out of the loop --no, not the divorce, really the falling-out with JS; hey Mick, he was right. You're not that big.

*Getting a promotion at KRON is like going to the dentist and the dentist tells you only need one root canal.

*Julie Haener: I was beginning to think she could be another blond Marcia Brandwynne but she's really a poor woman's Barbara Simpson.

Jon Miller

*Yeah, sure, I'm anal today but at least I'm honest and don't spew the usual BS that you get other places. And while I'm being honest, yes, I ASK FOR DONATIONS and PAID SUBSCRIPTIONS! What a travesty but guess what? YOU all have an option not to come here; THIS JUST IN: yeah, I need the money. I've been temporarily sent to the writers' bench because life dealt me a bad hand and the alternative? There is none. This is the chosen field but membership has its privileges : should at least ten of you buy a one-year subscription now, that would cease the pledge break for the rest of the month and send the KQED trolls to the volcano neighborhood in Hawaii.

*Jon Miller was the first Giants' voice on assignment: careful Jon, one day Larry Baer's gonna pull a Duane Kuiper on you: "HE IS OUTTTA HERE!" --Adios Pelota, indeed.

*Yeah, go ahead and sue me because I prefer a solid, entertaining, smart political host like John Rothmann as opposed to fake chefs, unfunny comedians and taped financial shows by guys who sound like they work on El Paso radio stations where the PD is named "Ed Smith."

*Good Cumulus/KGO game plan: have as many of your kids on the various stations and then keep your mouth shut because, you know, in addition to Ronnnnnn rewards, there's always Mike Anthony skittles.