Thursday, May 17, 2018

415 Media List of Terribly Misunderstood People; Major Confusion Trumps Internal Envy and Seduction; KRON's JR Stone; KNBR/Warriors Voice Bob Fitzgerald; KCBS' Jan Wahl; KPIX Anchor Michelle Griego; KTVU's Gasia Mikaelian and Mike Mibach; KPIX Political Wiz Melissa Caen; Allen Martin Too; KNBR's 'Murph and Mac'; KGO Radio's Ethan Bearman; Thursday Extravaganza

Image result for J.R. Stone
J.R. Stone
WHEN I SEE J.R Stone I think of a future Cronkite; a KRON nugget headed for greatness based on honest journalism and presentation. A news anchor with gentle finesse; bigtime gusto punctuated with bravado, TV News acumen and dedication to his craft. A KRON diamond in the rough. Behold you 415 Media denizens --you're watching a man in his prime. The question is, can he keep it up? I think so.

Image result for bob fitzgerald warriors
Bob Fitzgerald
*Bob Fitzgerald is terribly misunderstood. What might be perceived as a hardened, smarmy, egotistical jerk is in fact a soft-spoken, eager, passionate pussycat --a throwback to the days of Bill King and Hank Greenwald with a touch of Lon Simmons thrown in because Fitz likes to laugh and we love laughing and cackling with him because his warm and fuzzy is unique and cozy, sort of like putting your head on that pillow late at night after a long day's work. Oh, the feeling. It's all that and more with Robert Fitzgerald; the only thing missing is turning on the TV and watching Rudy. ...RUDY!, RUDY!, RUDY!...Bob Fitzgerald? A true broadcast Warrior.

Image result for jan wahl
Jan Wahl
*Jan Wahl could have very easily succumbed to local stardom; been evasive to the local paparazzi following her every move outside the Sausalito Whole Foods but she has maintained her grace and dignity with eloquence and beauty. A review diva? No, quite the opposite. A heralded, subdued woman with graciousness and tact. When I listen to Ms. Wahl, thoughts evolve. Dear Jan: You don't have to be a star, baby, to be in my show. Hats off to this goddess film critic. KCBS should be proud.

Image result for michelle griego instagram
Michelle Griego
*Michelle Griego, just like Debby Boone, you light up my life. You make me feel so brand new. I've been hard on you, sure, but truthfully, you have won me over with your steadfast activity and constant drive to work harder and harder despite all the obstacles. I love your passion and your grit. Your spunk and enlightenment in the morning beckons New York City and the Brooklyn Bridge. Don't let the bastards get you down, Michelle. Just be yourself. I see you as the next brunette Sylvia Chase.

Image result for Gasia Mikaelian
Gasia Mikaelian
*Gasia Mikalien, you have turned the corner. You have withstood the test of time and energy to become KTVU's face of the station and I'm going to applaud you right now. (I'm clapping) Sure, anybody could just show up and mail it in and smile and be gentle but you, Gasia, you give it all you got and that's quite hard in the early morning. I have been critical of your constant cackles and shameless self promotion but I know TV is a tough business; competition is fierce and loaded with endless puzzles; you have defied all the odds. Continue to strive forward and do it your way. And retain the urges. Fight off the lizards who envy your highness, Countess Mikaelian. You are misunderstood, we have a true connection now and it's you that guides me and makes me real. Thanks Gaas.

Image result for heather holmes ktvu facebook
Heather Holmes and Mike Mibach
*Mike Mibach, what the heck was I thinking? Oh, that pretty boys only get the job in TV News. Look, my soulmate, I was completely wrong about you. The breathless live shots during the Occupy Oakland demonstrations? You were right there at the scene and providing all the play-by-play; a sane voice with tranquility in a sea of chaos. KTVU needs you because of your valor, your extraordinary self control and ability to report in the field and on the desk as a voice of reason. It's not your fault that you carry the love and joy to the office and that people think that's not real because I know for a fact it IS real, Mike. Keep up the fine work and you're destined to become the male Heather Holmes. Wait a minute!

Image result for melissa caen kpix
Melissa Caen
*Melissa Caen? OK, I have to confess, right now here: Watch. I was all wrong about you; maybe it was because I was confused. Your outer/inner beauty sent shimmering waves of enlightenment to my inner torso; it frankly compromised my ability to critique you with objectivity and so I underestimated your political competence. I should have taken you up on your invitation to meet me at the Fisherman's Wharf Holiday Inn after the mayoral debate at the Commonwealth Club but I was weary of being seen with you out late at night. I respect Christopher and didn't want to be on his bad side. You have brought me great joy and inspiration every time I watch you now. In my book, there is only one ace political reporter on TV and it is you, Mel. Oh, and keep this quiet, please.

Image result for Allen Martin KPIX
Allen Martin
*Allen Martin: behind the image of a serious, conflicted, newsman is really a person who laughs out loud and is quite a puppy dog. That is what I missed about Allen Martin. I was thinking this rough, gruff, moody bazooka of a KPIX anchor was just all of that but I was wrong. Allen is a teddy bear in disguise and only wants the truth. I can appreciate that. Smiling is overrated anyway but Allen smiles a lot and one of these days, Al, me and you should get together at Red's Java House and tell all. I bet you have a million Vern Glenn stories and oh, I can't forget!! The hilarious Bruno Cohn Halloween pictures! Party hardy!

Image result for murph and mac knbr
Duane Kuiper and his buddy, dude!, Brian Murphy, DUDE!
Image result for Ameci pizza Brian Murphy KNBR
Kate Scott and her guy, Murph, DUDE!
*Murph and Mac: DUDES! Ok, ok, so we all have to meet and, seriously, dude, Murph, can I take a selfie of you and me in front of Amici's while we talk about who is the greatest Giants' players ever? Because I underestimated your devotion to Larry Baer, Jon Miller, all the junior Giants, Lee Hammer, Roger Craig, Mike Krukow and Duane Kuiper, I mean, dude, you are ALL GIANTS, all the time and I mean, seriously, dude, I thought it was all just an act, I mean, dude, I know you love the Giants, but I thought it more UCLA and Paulie Mac; seriously, dude, I thought the everything Giants was just a tip from Hammer and Crowe to rev it up a notch, but dude, you are awesome. The next time I want to buy a BMW I'm going straight to Fremont BMW! and when I finance the purchase, I'm going to ...DUDE!, PROVIDENT CREDIT UNION! With of course, a slice of my day-old Amici pizza! Yo, Paulie? So, I'm impressed. Got it from Heshi, the blind intern at KNBR, that you really do hang out with Springsteen when he comes to the Bay Area!, DUDE! I am struck. I thought it was all balderdash but DUDE, was I wrong or what? Dude, me and you and Brucie? Dude, let's all meet one night at Grumpy's and talk some shit, dude, it'll be awesome and Lee Hammer says, YES! DUDE!

Image result for Ethan Bearman
Ethan Bear-MAN!
*Ethan Bearman: dude, I'm am one dumb ass man; here I was thinking you were just some mouthy schlemiel willing to sell out and pitch both political sides because you have that grinning, goofy, toothy, I-look-like-Josh-Grobin- look and dude, I was so wrong because I know now that Sussman had great faith in you; he knew that all the rumors of your affair with the tofu woman on Fillmore were all lies and that you had no affair; why? Because, you are...ETHAN BEARMAN! I'm delighted Mike Anthony puts you up there with Michael Jackson (talk-show host) and Brian Copeland, another great. Ethan, once again, I underestimated you and I'm paying the price. Let's do this, me and you and Sussman, let's check out a Jews for Jesus event and have some Bloody Marys later, my treat.

Image result for Josh Groban
Josh Groban 


  1. Rich,

    I CANNOT believe that you are finally writing something nice for once!!

  2. April Fool's day was 6 weeks ago, Dude.

  3. This is a great start, Rich. Now do the same thing and tell us how much you love the misunderstood Kelley, Rosenheim and Anthony. Can't wait.

  4. Wow look, Rich didn't attack 1 person of color or any minorities outside of Gasia. *rolls eyes* Someone is afraid of a little backlash. Milk toast targets.

  5. The best part of the NBA playoffs - no Bob Fitzgerald...

  6. Not 1 person of color attacked? Afraid of the NAACP? Hard hitting journalism!

  7. Rich

    Who do you think you have a better chance of scoring with?

    Kate Scott
    Jan Null

  8. What are you smoking? Michelle Greigo diva knife hurler?

  9. Wow, was this post loaded with about-faces or what?

    And you're right-on about Mike Mibach's face, btw.

    I think you just gave some of the KTVU crew a much-needed morale boost!

  10. Totally missed the sarcasm until I got to Jan Wahl...I must be getting old...

    BTW..."balderdash"?!? Way to scrounge the trash file of legacy catchy phrases... :)

  11. Rich, you are a very unhappy, jealous person.

  12. dear rich.....just remember: what other people think of you is none of your business!!

  13. you forgot Sheryl Raines' writeup:
    I am amazed by your transformation with the perfect workout! You have gained muscle and lost fat! You don't sound like you were caught with your mouth full at every traffic report!

  14. Starting with J.R. Stone should have been the tipoff that this is 'satire'. The only way that guy should be mic'd on camera is if someone's shooting a video interviewing survivors of head trauma.

  15. Rich took his happy very sarcastic pills for the day. Fitz is ok as a play by play guy. Although I like Pappa better when he did the Warrior games. Barnett is great and always learned a lot from him. I have stopped completely and never listen to the morning dudes on KNBR. Murh and Mac are unlistenable. Lord I have tried to listen to them but gave up. Morning team at the game are much better, although not a Joe lover, he just repeats himself over and over. Dibbs and Lowell have grown on me.

  16. Wonder whats going to be programmed on 1550am with A's talk in the morning and the rest of the day...won't be simulcasting 95.7 that much longer and who is Lowell?

  17. Tell me, what have you ever done to say things like that about good people?

  18. Rich is a miserable human being

  19. What’s up with Brian Copeland? I heard he got offered a different time slot at KGO but haven’t heard anything sense. Is that happening? Haven’t seen any updates here. Hoping he replaces Bearman.

    1. Who the hell cares about him?

      Maybe he went back to opening for Cosby. Oh wait..

    2. Copeland would be good for the all night spot.

  20. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! To both the column and 9:50! And to 10:52 for typing Jan Null instead of Jan Wahl, mixing up the long time weather whiz with the past-her-prime movie critic! And to the Knibber advertising sarcasm!

  21. What's with the people who are up in arms over this post? It was an entertaining write up.

  22. Idea for torture professionals:

    Let them listen to the Bearman. They will confess to anything!!!!

  23. By the time I got to Jan Wahl I was cracking up. Very funny Rich, love the sarcasm!

  24. Jan Wahl? Seriously? I can't hit the 'change' button fast enough when she comes on. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Maybe she has mad skills. I'll never know because I just can't stand to hear her voice.