SYDNIE was late at the bar Saturday night; we were going to have dinner and some drinks --a brief respite from the real world which pretty much sucks right now.We met --get this--on-line, Craigslist; (OMG!) she responded to an ad I wrote. Lucky for me she seemed quite reasonable and genuine --even though she works in advertising.
When we first met about a month ago, I told her I was suspicious. "Why are you suspicious? "she asked. "Well, for one, you're hanging out with me." She laughed but I was serious. "What's the big deal? ," she repeatedly inquired. No time for games.
I was up front. I'm in a stage of my life --personally and professionally--that I couldn't imagine be possible. Here I was, in clinical depression, drinking, commiserating, feeling quite a bit down and out in fact, why the hell would anyone want to hang out with me, it was all encompassing.
She was in a funk herself; a really rotten divorce, single mother from Maine, chock full of quite a bit of tragedy and mayhem --what a perfect combo. But unlike me, she wore it well. She seemed quite capable of compartmentalizing all her issues while I just toiled away. She's quite a decent friend --and that's just it, we're friends. She really doesn't date now and I'm sort of her wing mate--her term. And I'm fine with that because I have about 7 million things going on in my life right now, so friendship is good. In fact, friendship is quite convenient and safe.
I told what I do. She laughed. Again, keep in mind she's from Maine; her mother is from Boston --she works in advertising and she's sipping drinks with me; added bonus: she insisted on buying so I'm rolling with it.
Sydnie is cool, real authentic and non-pretentious. I still don't trust her, my own insecurity --not that I haven't given up looking for a woman who would have a serious relationship with me, just that I'm having difficulty in this chapter of my life finding someone I can trust. Sydnie, and I told her this, can "have" any man she pleases but she's taken (she says) by my insecurity. Huh? "It's an 'East-Coast thing,'" she tells me. I kind of get it now but I'm having reservations --I understand women have a far more 'bigger picture' thing that most men can't grasp --like me, for instance, but she swears. OK, but me?
We haven't been intimate and it's not a prerequisite in case you're wondering. She's going through a lot now, one being a single mother and dealing with a real nasty divorce. Maybe she needs someone like me in her life so I'm beginning to take it all in. Plus, I also think the idea of her not having to worry about me and my personal libations is pleasing--to both of us.
Why do I bring all this up? What in the hell does my personal life have to do with writing about media? I bring it up because some of you, I've developed quite a bond; you've come into my life --some of you, former enemies, foes, friends and non-friends alike, and have helped me overcome--both directly and indirectly, the serious and not-so-serious issues that currently make just waking up and getting out of bed a real good day.
I thank you for that because every day is a new day and a challenge. Again, thank you, and thank you, Sydnie, for being a good friend.
Have a nice day and take care.
Right back at you, Rich. Thanks for a great blog everyday.
ReplyDeleteHey Rich, there's a reason she hasn't slept with you yet. Once you get the hundred dollars together she'll sleep with you.
ReplyDeleteThis oversharing is kind of a red-flag.
ReplyDeleteRich, get help.
Rich...if you start a bromance with Stan or the shit on Karel's driveway guy I'm leaving.
ReplyDelete.....could Ronnn be heared in the background maniacally screaming "it'll be great"??
ReplyDeleteInteresting story none the less though Rich. I hope you eventually overcome the funk you find yourself in. The world is a better place with you in it,when you are at the top of your game you friggin really crack me up. Do I agree with everything you say....hell no but such is life. Please continue to do what you do and the more outlandish, the more vicious you get the more I love it....
"... she's taken (she says) by my insecurity. Huh? "It's an 'East-Coast thing,'", she tells me."
ReplyDeleteNonsense! It's not an "east coast thing." It's a "woman thing." (I am one.)
If this is a comfortable match, companionship, friendship, future love, etc., great! Go for it, and enjoy.
But, geography is not a factor. Many women are attracted to vulnerability. "Poor thing ... needs me," fulfills a call to nurture, and provides a relative assurance that the emotional ties won't get too entangled.
If your current "funk" is responsible for the list-of-people-I-hate posts, I hope you rebound quickly. It's getting very boring.
Then I would suggest, if it's "boring", you don't read it.
DeleteNo sarcasm intended just being real. Nobody forced you to read this; thanks for the lecture too.
Just be yourself. I've been thru a divorce and it's nice to have someone to talk to.
ReplyDeleteRich, glad you found this person in your life. Even if it's just friends it can be helpful.
ReplyDeleteWill Rich let us know when she dumps him?
ReplyDeleteEvery single one of us is a work in progress. If we ever think we have things figured out we find out differently , usually very soon. Keep moving forward and don't worry about what "might" happen, 'cause worrying does no freaking good. Positiveness radiates out.
ReplyDeleteRich - mixed feelings on your post. On one hand, it does sound like a red flag. Drinking and depression go hand-in-hand. On the other hand, sharing your struggles, putting it out there, is healthy and perhaps helps you.
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you something, you have one thing that many MANY people want (in fact, the ones you write about are writing about fight for it) - an audience.
I've been reading for years and so have a lot of others. There is nothing else out there like this and I truly believe this forum helps a lot of media people who have been displaced, let go, put out to pasture before their ready - a place where they can go and share, vent, laugh. It's a community you built and an important one.
It means a lot to me and a lot of others out there - remember that.
As the saying goes, if you're going through hell, keep going. You have this forum, sounds like you have a nice lady friend (and maybe more). Take care of yourself and remember you have an audience who cares. Plus, you can get under some of the suit's and "talent's" skin - always a good thing.
Final note - with your audience numbers you can monetize the hell out of this thing. Happy to help if you want it!
Good for you Rich! Sometimes you just have to let your guard down and go with the flow. Nothing wrong with gaining a friend, we can all use more.
ReplyDelete