Friday, April 15, 2016

Friday Garbage at 415 Media Has Gone Viral; Frank Somerville Is The Male Mother Teresa; Reggie Aqui 24/7 Tweeter?; Go Warriors

Heather Holmes: More Thin Mints, perhaps?
I do believe it's a selfie
FRIDAY GARBAGE; lots of garbage.

The e-mail was a bit more emphatic and blunt: Most of the theme had to do with the barrage of garbage, or GAR-Bosh the viewers have begun to turn off here in the land of cranes, bicycles, 89 dollar parking meter tickets and crappy local TV News. Tweet that.

Why do you watch, then, Richie?

Well, I do kind of have to, right? What am I supposed to do; turn the radio on? That would be double torture. The coffee is beginning to take effect; good, because I was about to migrate to Facebook to see what Frank Somerville was preaching today; his latest outrage or "I felt a tear in my eye when I read this." Frank gets really teary-eyed lately; I dunno if he's serious or rather Fox insisting he forcefully engage in the 21st Century mishmash of that damn, Social Media. Have you read Frank? I really believe he's become the male Mother Teresa. I think he's found a higher calling than reading those damn teleprompters in Jack London Square. How do I know? Because it's gone viral.

*Gone viral. Sounds like an STD affliction --an affliction. A disease or another Reggie Aqui tweet. Is there a difference? Perhaps we should go to Facebook and Somerville will analyze it and shed a tear or two and his followers will find balance.  If not, we can at least see my sister's latest baked eggplant --it's quite lovely to look at and see on display. To hell with the NEWS! Let us see my sister's eggplant, or we shall all be forever doomed.

*"Hey honey, we donated 25 bucks to read this?!!"

*KGO-TV could save money; why waste Reggie's time on an obscure morning program; he could just be in a dark studio all by himself and tweet all day, 24/7! News? Who watches news anymore; Reggie, tweet, Reggie, tweet, it was pre-ordained that you TWEET for the rest of your life! SELFIE TIME!

*Ah, what tranquility in the local TV scene; KGO reduced to morning marginal destruction with an audience dwindling faster than a martini consumption at a Happy Hour, New Jersey Sheraton.

I say we all march over to Grunpy's and get wasted. I'll buy everyone the tuna melt and the rest of 'yous pint down on some overstocked Guinness. That's the ticket!

Could be worse for Reg: he could be Mike Nicco, the "meter-rologist" who loves to get funky in the morning because, 'yall, better to get funky than that damn irritant, news presentation, gettin' in the way. Wait a minute! Did I say news? What the hell is that? News? Has it gone viral? Reggie, through a proxy of his named Suggo Selfie, has called off the party and is lobbying now for that Grumpy's encounter.

*BREAKING NEWS: Heather Holmes waistline is getting so thin staffers have begun quietly demanding she take control. They inundated her desk with Oreo cookies and a crate of 7-11 hotdogs. Holmes apparently wasn't impressed and tossed all the goodies off her desk. Staffers really became worried when Holmes was listening to Karen Carpenter's "We've Only Just Begun." Good News: Holmes is trying to gain a little more weight. Bad News: Holmes was heard in the back office attempting to talk like a pirate.


*Cold War: Holmes and Julie Haener. Potential tug of war.


The Male Mother Teresa, Frank Somerville, explains life issues; sheds a tear
*Bill Burton, big suit at KGO: "If it doesn't TWEET, you must acquit!" Thanks Bill.


Selfie Time: Donnie and Marie

31 comments:

  1. I love that pic you have to Reggie and Natasha. They look like two high school kids playing dress up, make-believe news anchors. Which is exactly what they are.

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    1. ...Hmph...with Special Guest Star, Big Gay Karel as Paul Lynde. Check the driveway!!

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    2. How far we have fallen...and still the millennials toil away the day on x-box and last nights pizza. A target audience whitout a bullseye,let me know when its adult time,I may have something to add.

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    3. Anchor babies galore.

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  2. Now Rich is commenting on someone's weight.

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    1. Better than commenting on shoe fashion Friday

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    2. Hey, that's a heavy-handed comment don't you think? Time to lighten up. Not everyone is light in the loafers.

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    3. Hey Twinkletoes, Rich is the man of substance around these parts (and those parts too).

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    4. Andrew "Dice" ClayApril 15, 2016 at 1:15 PM

      Hey, I've got a sausage for her!

      Oooooooooo!!!

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  3. Hi Rich - Well someone is cranky. :)

    You really need to lighten up just a bit because for some reason you are taking it very personally. At the end of the day, it is only television and its not your television anymore. Adapt and grow.

    And while I understand Frank Somerville's position and the reason it goes viral, whether if be phony or not, it taps into people, which is what broadcasting is about. It's intimate which is a rare gift.. And what is so bad about what he says? Also if you think about it, he is no different from Bob March, Pat McCormick, Bob Wilson or many other past KTVU or other broadcasters. All had the quality to reach the viewer or listener in a personable way.

    And that is why broadcasting and entertainment since the beginning has been successful because it is intimate. You want to brush up on your history. Think about Jack Benny, Fred Allen, George Burns, Gracie Allen, Edward R. Morrow, Walter Cronkite, etc. All were personable and connected with the audience.

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    1. Has to do with being sanctimonious, not "intimate," which is not a rare gift, btw. Ask any prostitute.

      How many hours do you think Frank volunteers for all those people he feels so bad about?

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    2. I don't find it intimate at all - it's not editorial columnist in nature either. In fact, I find it kinda condescending and it comes across like he's trying to give a lesson in humanity to his followers who aren't as enlightened as he is. If I'm going to follow someone to enlighten my humanity, I think I'll follow the Pope or the the Daiai Lama on Facebook instead.

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    3. You not his audience but in time his popularity will fade on this topic due to both circumstances and taste.

      I was not aware the Frank was spreading his belief just commentary. And good for you on your choices between the the Pope or Daiai Lama who connect with people and are fine enlightened folk, but even Frank Somerville would never compare himself to them.

      And answer about the volunteer hours, i have no idea but I do know he does his spend with people who are in need.


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  4. I love Heather Holmes.

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    1. I like HH better than Julie Haener (whose hair has too much hairspray and looks like she is from the 1950s). H* has more sexiness to her. But the female anchors that are hotter are Peggy Bunker and Maria Medina!

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    2. Julie is far more professional. By the way, 4:34, "too much hairspray" looks much better than bad extensions.

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  5. Too much purging and not quite enough binging for H.H.?? What type of madness is this and who makes such demands?? And thank you Mr.Aqui,hockey may never be same for me again thanks to your twisted little fantasy being tweeted to half the planet....or at least to the 16 people who still watch you. Do I "have to much spare time on my hand"?? perhaps I do but its mine...and I'll use it how I damn well please thank you very much!!!

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    1. I am not morally bankrupt, nor do I enjoy watching it, so the number is now 15.

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  6. Maybe Jan Wahl or Andria Borba could lend Heather some their mass.

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  7. Meh. Let's try the eggplant.

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  8. There have always been phonies on television newscasts, but at least in the old days the phonies were honest.

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  9. The problem is that stations are actually encouraging--and sometimes even outright insisting--that their personalities tweet and post things on social media. Even Bill O'Reilly has stated that against his wishes he was forced into opening a Twitter account--and that man has enormous clout at Fox News!

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  10. Is this the sixth local broadcast market ? This is ‘...all about me Millennial’ amateur hour. Very sad.

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  11. Please- Andria could get it ALL day. You trippin

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    1. Get what, breakfast at McDonald's?

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  12. so KNBR talkers might have more material with the gigantes all of a sudden getting injured including the 50 million dollar types...verrrry interesting ''sports talk'' up ahead. how may a potential collapse affect the station. they just got started with exciting wins ,then this.it's as if they came out like a hurricane and are now exhausted. the insta twitter generations , all hyped up then poof! the too long grind of pro sports schedules. get tired just thinking about it. let's see if ''the worriers'' have bounce and zoom and lot's of pep.

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    1. Romo? He's on the final year of a 2 year $15 mil contract. Who else is hurt?

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    2. Many years ago, IBM (Big Blue) located south of San Jose, set up their own onsite training program because the people who were coming in off the street were not very educated. They eventually ended the program because most of the people that applied didn't know that a sentence started with a capital and ended with a period. That is when they started to bring educated people from other Counties, to do the job of the uneducated in this Country!

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  13. OK Rich, we get it. Mike Nicco can't pronounce "meteorologist." He's a dumb-ass. Now let's move on to more important things.

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  14. Natasha passes my b**** test -- where does she like to stop off after work?

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