Friday, February 5, 2016

Super Bowl 50 Ways to Leave your Media Lover (Well, At Least 10)


1. Stick a mike-flag up her ass while she's sleeping.

2. Tell her you're not in love with her anymore and you've been stupping Jan Wahl.

3. If you're a woman, at climax, scream out "oh, Phil Simms, Phil Simms!"

4. Tell him you'd like to "have a nice, quiet, romantic, dinner in Super Bowl City."

5. Pretend you're a KNBR intern and promise non-stop Paulie Mac sing-alongs on Radio Row.

6. Decorate the living room like KPIX's new news set overlooking the Embarcadero; dress up like Allan Martin.

7. When he's rubbing your feet and you're day-dreaming about George Clooney, tell him you really dig Coldplay.

8. Fake 50 orgasms.

9. After live shot from Marina Green, tell her "your parents must be proud; you're married to a Charlotte weatherman!"

10. After deep, hot sex, lock him up in the bathroom and make him listen to Gil Gross' monologue.

I'm sure you guys have a few of your own.


  1. 11. Call her from Bouley's driveway & tell he that you can't hold it in any longer, with the sound of dropping pants in the background.

  2. “I'm sure you guys have a few of your own.”
    I’m not a highly respected journalist like you, Rich.
    I got nothing.

  3. Lieberman making Paul Simon proud? :D

  4. Jack his camera gear and tell him it's only Tuesday.

  5. I cringe whenever I hear Paulie Mac - whose contribution to music is repeatedly yelling an athlete's name over a bad 80's song - criticize any musical act. Is KNBR ever going to give Brian Murphy a real partner?

    Paulie also gives off the impression he picks on the interns. It's probably schtick, but as the least-talented host at KNBR, it's a bad look. Kinda like the weakest 8th-grader hassling 6th-graders because he can't pick on anyone his own age. I imagine the interns listen to Paulie with his out-of-date musical references and sound drops and wonder how he ever got on air.

    1. I've also tweeted KNBR about how tired it is with Rod Brooks crapping on Matt Kolsky, their traffic reporter, all the time. It's not funny when a fairly paid boss/radio host messes with lower paid staff, even if they seem to go along with it.

  6. What's this shit? A football game? I just swallowed my chewing tobacco.

  7. For all the Heather Holmes fans, I hope you caught all her reporting at SB50, especially at the Playboy event and on Saturday night at the anchor!