Wednesday, August 19, 2015

The Moment Of Reckoning At KPIX; 415 Media Tells It Like It Is; Blunt Force Analysis Of 855 Battery; The Real Thing You Won't Read Anywhere Else


 KPIX is at a pivotal point of time--its own moment of reckoning --and I say this matter of fact: The station has LOST ITS IDENTITY --wait a minute, KPIX HAS NO IDENTITY!




To be relevant to viewers, people have to care about the news anchors they are watching.  Nobody cares about KPIX --haven't cared for years. This is the point at PIX that has eluded its executives and is one of the main reasons why the CBS SF station has lost its mojo --if it ever had it to begin with you have to go back to the days of Dave McElhatton and Wendy Tokuda. That's a long time ago.


Today, PIX (Channel 5) is loaded with a bunch of bitter, no-talent, sub-prime news and sports anchors with a tremendous dose of blas√©. There is NO there there. Nobody commands respect. The best talent, Ken Bastida, has been put out to pasture. Lost in the late-night abyss. Bastida should be on in primetime --everywhere. Allen Martin is a TOTAL failure. He doesn't warm the senses. He hardly smiles. Seriously, Martin sometimes gives the appearance he's having a colonoscopy on the air. That won't work to attract viewers, but Martin, unfortunately for PIX, is not alone.


Let's face it: The Veronica De La Cruz experiment is a bust! That's right, I said it. If De La Cruz put as much work into her news reading as she does with her hair and internet browsing, she'd be an extraordinary success. But she HAS NOT--(TRENDING!) De La Cruz looks completely LOST in space and often times sounds like a tortured canary. Please, GM Bruno Cohen and ND, Dan Rosenheim, something needs to be done here--trim the roster, cut your losses.


And what the hell is going on with Brian Hackney? Hey Brian, your pompousness has reached epic proportions! Hell, if you want to go audition for "60 Minutes", do us all a favor and get on the next red eye for JFK! You stink, Brian, that's right, I said it, you stink. Your air of superiority wreaks of cockiness run amuck --and get this? WHY? In order to pull off that bullshit you have to be someone, generate respect. Hackney, you come off as some dimwitted New Jersey public school teacher and I'm being kind. Go take a day off and try to reinvent yourself.


Then there's Ms. Prima Donna herself, Julie Watts--where do we begin? Honey, if your a consumer advocate I'm a stripper. It's not a pretty picture either way. Watts has all the warmth and gumption of an Oxnard Walmart clerk. "But she really works hard", I'm told by station staffers. So do humming birds in heat. Seriously, Watts is a complete tool and nobody takes her seriously --she ought to bunch up with Hackney and do Sunday community shows that no one watches--she's certainly not helping Monday through Friday.


And PLEASE, someone tell Dennis O'Donnell and Vern Glenn that this is NOT KRON in the 80's. Time passes, dudes. Just what the heck is going on in the sports dept? Dennis, we know you're a cute guy, we get it. But please, quit MUGGING the camera night in an night out--you're not Donny Osmond for heaven's sake. And Vern? Oh my god. Have you lost it, buddy? The copy shifting, the wink of the eye, the irritating-as-all-get-go frequent pregnant pauses --this is not good, Vern. You're beginning to act like some latent, Art Linkletter guy only this is 2015, Vern. Wake up and smell the teleprompter.


KPIX, you are a mess. I said what nobody will say. Management doesn't give a rat's ass, obviously, they're too busy drinking beers at Kokkari and staring at women's tits. Hey guys, the only reason you're in game is because New York only cares about the bottom line and, big deal, if I ran PIX, I too could maintain its profitability --better yet, I alone could make this chicken shit into chicken salad. You want proof? Ask the main man at Black Rock. Yeah, that guy!



The anchor who could not smile, Allen Martin
Seriously, now, PIX, your Moment of Reckoning has arrived only I'm not so sure many of you know it.






*Follow me on Twitter







20 comments:

  1. Julie Watts scares me. She's a fucking Amazon. And Brian Hackney has been a pompous ass for years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Her scariness makes her perfectly qualified to be a consumer reporter!

      Delete
  2. Amen, Rich!! Hackney, you STANK like ass. Ass!! You only wish you could be like Dave McElhatton! You're not even fit to clean Tokuda's car in the driveway! You & your fellow Barista, Vern Glenn, need to get off the fucken soapbox! Gimme a latte, bitch!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. "That's right I said it !" Paying homage to Mark Levin, I have newfound respect for you Big Vinny.

    ReplyDelete
  4. For a "station without an identity", whatever that is, KPIX does about as well/bad as most in their market.
    I too long for the days of $1.25 gasoline, $4 bridge toll, the A's being relevant, being younger with less worries and having Dave McElhatton reading me the news.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well freaking said.

    ReplyDelete
  6. KPIX needs some who is a) local b) good with social media c) either hispanic or black or maybe even asian

    Agreed with everything stated here though

    ReplyDelete
  7. Rich, interesting that you didn't mention Liz. Is she such a non-entity that she doesn't deserve ink?

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Dennis, we know you're a cute guy, we get it."

    "Cute" is for puppies and rabbits. A grown, 50-ish man isn't cute, especially one who has fully convinced himself that he is.

    ReplyDelete
  9. WTF is that black contraption, the last pic - a sybian?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It looks like a surface dust collector from the Mars rover.

      Delete
  10. They are not accountable managers. Cohen and Rosenheim don't care about the quality of talent they hire as long as it is cheap and makes their bottom line. When you hire cheap you get mispronunciation, bad grammar and inexperience that lowers the quality of the program. They won't do it- they don't care. All Rosenheim should have to say to Allen Martin is, "hey Allen try smiling a little more" and let's see what happens.

    ReplyDelete
  11. As long as their national network remains atop the country, I doubt there will be much if any overhaul, even as KGO might be the only well respected local news station in the region, with KTVU & KNTV getting the occasional accolades every now and then. CBS is still dominant, so KPIX won't change much.

    ReplyDelete
  12. There is one person who takes Julie Watts seriously, and that would be Julie Watts!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Paul Deanno is their only hope.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Deanno is pretty good and they have some solid reporters. This is a management mess. Like any team people need to have roles and that is what this station lacks. People without roles, People in the wrong roles, people who should not have roles. That is all management not the talent.

      Delete
  14. KPIX forgot how to light up the bay.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I agree with all of your comments, the sad thing is they are the ones I primarily watch. Why cuz simply stated the other stations are worse.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Any trashing without mentioning Roberta is incomplete.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Any truth to a CBS/Entercom merger?

    ReplyDelete