Name: Winkle Schminkmire --last-known address: underground parking garage at the Clovis, CA Walmart.
Likes: Shrimp chow fun (cold); old Dick Gautier movies; Adrian Barbeau tits close-up in Maude, pre-1973 episodes; any Dodge Dart--preferably automatic transmission; pictures of stray cats, short-sleeve shirts at Ross; Ritz crackers; the fake cheese food slices for $4.99 at 7-11; women on the radio who say "penis" 27 times in an hour.
Dislikes: Cold pizza; roller-coaster rides; people who like to say on the radio that they walked the red carpet; people on the radio that talk too much about arugula; people on the radio that talk about the Middle East; people on the radio that like to go out and eat lunch and post pictures later on their Facebook page; egg whites; women news reporters on the radio who like to emphasize the word, "I'm"
Word on the street: To impress the big suits, he said he'd stay, temporarily, at the South SF Airport Holiday Inn and buy his own coffee. Impressive.
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{h/t: Tom Ley/Deadspin}
I guess I'll be the first to say it. That looks like Bernie Ward younger brother. The one who works for Google and is considering an Age Discrimination Suit when he succumbs to pressure and retires early. Oh, and he will be taking ALL of his pocket protectors with him. The entire collection!!
ReplyDeleteRich, you've earned two stars for mentioning the underappreciated Adrian Barbeau.
ReplyDeleteJust make sure those are two big stars.
Rich, first rule of comedy, it's supposed to be funny!
ReplyDeleteWatch out, KCBS! It was being reported in the Financial Times (yesterday) that hedge fund Sandell Assets is pushing CBS to spin off the radio stations and merge them with Cume-less. (Oh, the humanity!)
ReplyDeleteAnon number one beat me to it. I gasped (well not exactly, but noticed) at the resemblance to the good padre as well.
ReplyDeletePeople get a clue. This was the funniest post, a laugh out loud riot! Don't you people know Milton!? The likes- right on the mark Rich. Adrienne and those Tees. She was a San Mateo school girl in the late '50's. I knew her mother.
ReplyDeleteThat's Stephen Root--great comedic actor in Office Space. He played the station owner on NBC's sitcom, Newsradio. In the recent movie Selma, he played a villain. I couldn't get past thinking, "That's Jimmy James!"
ReplyDeleteI've spoken to 3 current/corner pds who called me to ask about that job. After talking with them they all realized they didn't want it.
ReplyDeleteCumulus has made kgo a job no one wants.
Expect a loser.