*Somehow, against all odds, Mr. Softie, Ronn Owens, master of the 45 year-old housewife in Pleasanton; king of all gadgets and mattresses; the mother of all simpletons; is still on the air--it's KGO--, sloppy seconds, but he keeps going. Proving one thing: have body, will speak.
*The beige wallpaper station, "Newstalk 910" and its IHeart/Fart-whatever it's called, is to traction and buzz is what CSPAN is to BET.
*Brian Sussman, part of the Cumulus radio gestapo, has so much besmirched the new KSFO, it's even worse than the old, newer KSFO which left the planet in 1980. More train noise, Brian, more fart noise too and some cows mooing...thanks Brian. What would you do without the Drudge Report?
*You yentas in the KGO Radio newsroom --free piece of advice: Bloomquist and Bakos: watch your back. And when you take a break in the lunch room, keep in mind they can hear you and see you--I have no proof but the green spiders swear to me all the way from Atlanta. Don't make a mess too otherwise they'll sweetjack you until death.
*KCBS: Just when I thought you couldn't do any more repeats. Hell, I know about TSL and PPM, but damn, for god's sake, can you just keep to four repeats every couple of hours as opposed to the eight-nine --and I'm not even counting weekends.
*Chip Franklin: Thanks for reaching out...It's good business and PR...just keep Bakos off your ass and do YOUR show. You sound OK but the topics? Not so good. Be yourself, Chip.
*Michael Savage: Your ratings are really beginning to tank. You asked for my advice: I told you to stay the hell away from Obama--people hate politics, both sides of the aisle. Instead, you retreated to the Groundhog Day card--you should have stuck to meatball recipes, Teddy, and Indian food buffets.
*Randall Bloomquist: Look, dickhead--you're a Cumulus bean counter. Quit handing out crappy cigars, get your ass kissed by Ronnnnnnnnn, and feel fortunate that the only thing you got going is you look sort of like Jonah Hill. Now go take a long walk on a short pier.
*Renee Bakos: They're on to you. They think your handbooks are the shits too. Pretty soon, you'll be in Toledo asking some pimply board op in his 30's for a date to Arby's.
*John Lobertini: Yeah, you're a genius --that southern NY accent is about as genuine as a Utah hooker.
*The Dickeys: You keep cashing those bonuses and laughing at all the little people --especially 55 Hawthorne. If they only knew the whole story.
*KNBR: Your interns still reading updates. The janitors still busy? I thought so. Maybe it's time you became real innovative: do a promo of Larry Baer taking a #2 flushed with "Go Giants!"
*Sarah and Vinnie: Stealing money is better than hosting morning radio shows. Wait a minute!
*Brian Copeland: "You know what?!!--Byron Allen never hosted a radio show!"
*Chef Ryan Scott: your gouda cheese on the weekend is about to turn blue, sorry, dude.
*Follow me on Twitter