This is the beginning of that time of the year when local TV news assignment editors resort to the usual cliched activities that make us all hate local TV news.
It begins with the usual stand-up live shot at SFO and the other Bay Area airports where dorky passengers are interviewed by dorky reporters, pre-Thanksgiving of course, on just how rough a day it's been standing in line. Of course the dorky passenger; usually some pimpled-faced college prick from Berkeley on his way back home to Austin could have avoided the airport doldrums by booking a flight a day or two earlier, but NO....
Then there's the inevitable schlub reporter: "Frank, there's wall-to-wall traffic here at SFO and despite the look of civility, passengers on their way home to grandma's house are grumbling." Gees, you don't say? I'm just fraught with anxiety. Maybe, god forbid, they could have booked a flight out of Oakland? But NO....
By the way, ever hear of a flight early Thanksgiving morning? I hear there's NO lines and besides, you just glide through the process. Common sense is like a preference for dark meat. It's gone the way of stuffing.
And then there's THIS: the ballet, the grand curtain of ritualisticitus in TV News: the inane, cock-eyed, uber-annoying, pain-staking onslaught of Black Friday, which has now morphed into Black Thursday night.
I don't know what's worse: The inevitable camera shots of doofuses with double chins and absolutely no life standing in line in front of the local Walmart so they can buy a $50 big screen and risk getting trampled to death by a bunch of lowlife, trailer-trash from Fremont. Oh, it's the spirit of the holiday season! Screw the bizarre idea of spending time at home with family and friends with a warm fire and post-turkey bliss--no, let's go freeze our ass off late night and catch pneumonia so we can buy a cheap TV monitor that will probably break down in a week.
I'm sick of it already and I haven't even seen one shot. Excuse me, I'm gonna eat turkey, watch football, and pick up chicks. Pass the stuffing.
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How about the endless shots of the do gooders volunteering to feed the homeless? It is the only day of the year most of these nerds volunteer to do anything for the less fortunate and there's always one of them who invokes Karma as a guiding principle to get off his/her ass to feed the hungry...
ReplyDeleteWhy does Rich spend so much time ridiculing the industry that he's so desperate to be even a minor part of? Is he really in a position to be so condescending?
ReplyDeleteAnd why does that fatass Roger Ebert put down so many movies? Doesn't he know they create jobs? Some people..harumph.
DeleteRich. A warm fire, good bottle of Scotch. Who needs stuffing?
ReplyDeleteHow about hot chocolate for those who abstain? Scotch, hot chocolate...it's all good.
DeleteTV News is the ultimate copy cat... afraid to break out and set it's own direction... there really isn't a problem covering all the things you mention Rich... the problem is the length of time devoted to the stories... voice overs.. soundbite... that would suffice on many of these stories.. but remember.. fewer people doing much more than they should provided less quality in the process over managed instead of provided leadership to follow their own course...the good days of TV News are behind us and those of us fortunate enough to have work in it during those good times.... lament the passing.
ReplyDeleteLOL good one Rich! I used to work at Frys Electronics. The lowlifes would line up for a couple of days to get the privlage to by a cheap ass computer. They would run down anyone in thier way to get to the computers. Geeze! We sales people just stood aside and let them run. Talk about poor behavior most of them were asians!
ReplyDeleteEvery detail your wrote is totally TRUE
ReplyDeleteAlso, it's RAINING. Have we mentioned that there is RAIN in the Bay Area? What is RAIN, and what does it look like? What does this mean for holiday road travel, not to mention aging tree limbs in the Oakland Hills? Is there going to be more RAIN? Will RAIN ruin your Thanksgiving travel plans? Stay tuned! I'll be back in a few minutes to tell when and how much RAIN you can expect, and whether RAIN will ruin your camping-overnight-in-front-of-Target plans. And our team of Nitwitness News reporters will be on scene standing in the RAIN and modeling this year's North Face Goretex rain ponchos. But not quite yet..stay tuned! We'll be back in a few more minutes to tell what RAIN will mean to you!
ReplyDeleteI let my kids go out and play Friday, unaware it was raining, because the weather reporter never said anything about rain in my town! How is that allowed to happen? My kids got rained on! Why did they have to suffer? People in at least a dozen Bay Area cities knew about the rain -- and were able to protect their kids, because the rain report included their cities by name. Why not mine?
DeleteIf it isn't reported on TV, how am I supposed to know it's raining?
Damp Mad Mom
Best flight I ever took was on a Thanksgiving day back in the '80s...only about twenty passengers on a 250-seat Lockheed TriStar to London. Your choice of muliple seat rows to stretch out and sleep, and practically a 1:1 passenger-to-flight-attendant ratio!
ReplyDeleteI was in local-and network-news for a while and even on the inside people make fun of these stories.
ReplyDeleteEvery Thanksgiving, Christmas, Tax Day, every possible holiday these old hoary stories are trotted out and then put back in the stall for next year.
Can't news directors find a new slant?
Nobody's watching on Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any other holiday for that matter. Why does the newscast need to be anything other than what's going on? Travel, eating, volunteers helping the homeless. If something else happens, like the year those kids were mauled by tigers at the SF zoo, believe me, stations will be happy to cover it. Other wise, enjoy your turkey and your break from "another shooting in Oakland" newscasts.
DeleteBest post in a bit. Everything is so true. So sick and tired of these talking heads going to malls, stores and airports and getting the same lousy idiotic quotes. News directors have no news sense. Do I care if some penny-pinching geek from Union City waited three days to get the only $499 laptop from the Best Buy at Union Landing? Hey news directors, do you realize there are more important stories than how long the line was at Target at 6 a.m. on Black Friday? You can find something, I'm sure. Yes it's a slow news day, but for Chrissakes, use your brains and be creative. This is one time where being a copy cat isn't flattering.
ReplyDelete”The slow news day” excuse is such bullsh*t. As if the whole world comes to a screeching halt while Americans stuff themselves and go camp outside Best Buy. I am sure Israel will stop bombing Gaza on turkey day, yeah sure. Btw the ABC network news at 8am led with early campers outside a store and warnings to expect long lines on freeways and airports......(sigh)
ReplyDeleteJust remember to put a Steely Dan clip on, Rich, and then we can enjoy some music and see the REAL Black Friday. That way, we don't need to see the crap you're sick and tired of.
ReplyDeleteDon't forget the shots of our soldiers eating a thanksgiving meal and the president pardoning a turkey.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, with money so tight in the business these days, why don't the stations just re-run the stories that were done last year? The re-runs will be just as informative as this year's "new" stories, and heck, nobody will be able to tell the difference anyway.
And the money saved could then be used for serious, important, hard hitting journalism.
After all, hell could freeze over tomorrow.
Not long ago I was watching one of those 80's Steven King horror movies. The hot beeyach was impressed because the stud had "One of those digital clocks" on his nightstand. OOOOhhhhh! Or how about a guy I knew who said kind of snotty to me "I just got Windows 95".
ReplyDeleteTraffic? I still say Dibly left KNBR so as to end a "career" where he has to say "The metering lights are on"..every fucking day of his life.
S
The term Black Friday gets capitalized but the personal pronoun God doesn't. Interesting.
ReplyDeleteAnd why hasn't the politically correct bay area changed it to African American Friday yet?
DeleteDid anyone catch an obviously bitter Karel yesterday at the start of his show? He said he does not fill in for Ronn Owens bc Ronn Owens hand picks his guest hosts and he refuses to invite Karel to fill in. He called Owens a diva and said he had never heard of a contract which allowed a host to pick his fill in!! Lol
ReplyDeletei heard it. and then the next guy told karel he was filling in for ronn owens today as a joke. karel stuttered for a moment. i guess it wasn't lost on the station either!
DeleteHope you have a Happy Thanksgiving, Rich, but..."pick up chicks(!?) " uh, I have no idea about your prowess at that, nor is it any of my business, but woo hoo ladies, look out! Big Vinny's on the loose!!
ReplyDelete