Saturday, October 6, 2012

Why some Radio Talk-Show Hosts Want to Kill Themselves


*Thanks for taking my call. (One dog growl)



*Hi Homer, I think Obama is right on health care and Romney is all tied up in corporate mush and only wants to make it more great for the rich people...but that's not what I called about." (lion roar)

*I'll take my answer on the air. (two screams)

*Hello Larry, first-time caller, long-time listener. (all-out coyote roar)

*I told your screener that I wanted to talk about cryonics. (meow)

*You liberal hosts...(poodle bark)

*You cut people off that you don't agree with...(goldfish kill)

*Follow me on Twitter






25 comments:

  1. Why did you kill John Lennon, Ray? (Off air cussing that would make a sailor blush.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. How about when talk show hosts make listeners want to kill themselves?
    Try listening to Marty Lurie's endless pregame/postgame shows!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am a Marty fan but you make a good point.

      Delete
  3. Brian Copeland............."that's not what you said you wanted to talk about".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agree. Defensive Copeland.
      Brian "how dare you take a different point of view than mine" Copeland.

      Delete
    2. Another Copelandism: "YOU NEED TO CUT TO THE CHASE" after a caller who disagrees with the "comedian" has barely said one full sentence...

      Delete
  4. Why listeners want to kill themselves: Marty Lurie blabbering on and on about baseball...Stuttering Rod Brooks using at least a dozen sentences to ask a simple question...Murph and Mac singing songs about other men twenty years younger than they are...Eric Byrnes turning Tom Tolbert into a dumb jock...Bang!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Marty by far is the best sports-talk host on KNBR, but you have to be a baseball fan AND a Giant's fan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm an baseball fan AND a Giant's fan but can only tolerate Marty in small amounts, like the amount of time it takes me to recognize his voice and turn off my radio.

      Delete
    2. Good relpy Mr Lew.
      As other commenters have stated, I too am a Marty fan, but that does not mean he beyond reproach.

      Delete
  6. Hey Ronnnnnn, I'd like to respond to the caller 5 calls ago and then make 3 additional points before I get to my main point (sound of radio spontaneously combusting).

    ReplyDelete
  7. "Let's go to Paul in Palo Alto, hello...Are you there, Paul?...Paul, it's your turn...Okay how about Rich in Richmond...you need to turn your radio down...hello Rich?...Well, it's time for Trevor with a traffic update."

    Activate kill switch. Host to screener:

    "IS IT TOO MUCH TROUBLE TO HAVE THE CALLERS READY TO TALK WHEN I PUSH THE BUTTON? HAVE YOU SEEN THE RECENT RATINGS? I WAS IN BOISE THREE MONTHS AGO AND IF THINGS DON'T..."

    Host: "Welcome back, let's try Brent in Brentwood..."

    ReplyDelete
  8. thank goodness those snobs at kgo got canned!
    ray from San Francisco, you're through. gene from San Francisco, down the road. John from San Francisco, sorry can't use you anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said poster at 7:52am.
      I have been waiting 9 months for someone to say this.

      Delete
    2. You are confusing the word snob, with intelligence, a common mistake when someone is talking about something that is over someone's head, either because they are stupid, or too lazy to familiarize yourself with a subject.

      Delete
    3. KGO got their collective rear-ends handed to them by a Southern from Atlanta. Showed you Frisco types.
      Now whose the boss?

      Delete
  9. I know that the hosts just LOVE being asked "How are you?" over and over again.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "Oh, you seem to be breaking up.... is that your phone or our phone? Your phone? Okay, I think we have you back. Let me ask that question again: could you explain that really important thing that's the reason you're a guest on our show?"

    "Oh -- we lost him. It was his phone."

    And Marty Lurie RULES. And I'm not even a Giants fan.

    -- Gaga V

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  11. When a caller tells Alan Colmes."thanks for taking my call"' Colmes plates the growling dog sound. What's funnier is how almost every caller asks "how are you" And Colmes ignores them. He never answers the question but his callers never seem to notice. I don't know how he does that show without his head exploding.
    He certainly has a good gimmick, a liberal host whose callers are almost all right wing. I started listening after tuning in to 910 post-massacre, and it's pretty entertaining but damn there's a lot of screaming (not always from me).

    Re Posey; when at the start of the season Zeets let it be known he was most comfortable with Hector Sanchez, nobody seemed to mind; give posey a rest, etc. But when Timmy all of a sudden had to have Hec catch, that was a problem because it meant both first base and LF had to be juggled. And why wouldn't our pitchers want our all star carter to catch them? It just looked weird. For a long time I thought it was Boch' call, to spare Posey the wear and tear catching two wild pitchers would cause. Now, I'm not sure. It is the mystery of the season and I'm amazed no one has come forward with an explanation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michael Savage has done the same thing for years. People ask him: "how are you?" and then there is dead air. It is hilarious. Sometimes he gets mad and says: "I don't know you, why do you ask me how I am!?!?" In his case I don't think it is schtick, it really pisses him off.

      Delete
  12. So glad that "Thank you for taking my call"--wasn't only annoying the crap out of me!

    Seriously, people! Quit wasting airtime with that. It's a listener call-in show. It's their job.

    Why don't the screeners tell them. NOT to say that?

    It wouldn't bother me so much if EVERY STINKING CALLER didn't say it.

    Rich, "Thank you for letting me vent!". ;)

    ReplyDelete
  13. "I have been a season ticket holder of (blank) for 45 years. I was there when (blank) threw to (blank) and the (blanks) won the championship. And I think...."

    I can't switch stations fast enough whenever callers give their "resume" and memories somehow thinking this qualifies them as an expert. Invariably, these callers have the worst opinions.




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  14. Brian Sussman is the worst show host I have ever heard; he's a outlet mall knockoff of top tier right wing haters. His callers are yes men yahoos of the most intellectually impotent variety; all they have to offer is some hateful base remark, and Sussman rewards them with his Pavlovian Hate Cackle.

    ReplyDelete