Sunday, June 3, 2012

Zombie Apocolypse hits Bay Area News and Sports Media

The Walking Dead Please Do Not Try This At Home

Zombie Apocolypse hits Bay Area Media.


**"Murph" of "Murph of Mac Show" on KNBR eats Paulie Mac's sound board. Paulie's ally, Peacon eats all of Murph's US Open's spots.

**John Lobertini and Bill Scheckner devour 855 Battery building and everything in it. Only Jan Wahl is spared.

**Jan Wahl then devours nearby Hunan.

**Ronn Owens eats all remaining "N's" left in Cumulus refrigerator and existing microwaves.

**Liam Mayclem tries to eat Michael Bauer. Bauer, in return, says that Mayclem's effort is wrought with "inconsistencies and non-caramelized flesh--but he still gets one star."

**Ralph Barbieri tries to eat Bill Bungeroth, but Lee Hammer says no. Instead, Barbieri chows down an entire Ameci's large pie--only this time it has meat on it: Lew Dickey's nose.

**George Rask gulps up Da Lin.

**Dan Rosenheim eats new Robert Lyles flank steak.

**Ben Fong-Torres chows down every existing radio station in Bay Area--mysteriously, leaves 55 Hawthorne alone....then proceeds to write cover piece on it.

**Justine Waldman gets positively swallowed by Darya Folsom.

**Damon Bruce slices and dices Fitz and Brooks. As struggle ensues, only faint sound of cackling short guy with picture of Lou Holtz on t-shirt is heard.

**Every existing Sleeptrain mattress gulped up by every existing Bay Area radio/TV personality.

**Steve Moskowitz gets audited by H and R Block, then eats its SF offices.

**"Stan", the prolific commenter on virtually every sports and news blog eats Tim Kawakami. "Neal", fellow comrade from the "Cohn Zone" then retaliates by forcing Stan, by gunpoint, to write that "KNBR is awesome."

**Chris Olivere and Casey Pratt eats both Rich Lieberman and 415 Media blog. Before mayhem, in show of support, Olivere and Pratt make $5 donation to 415 Media.

**Lew Wolff tries to eat Larry Baer, Brian Sabean, Charles Johnson, the Burns family and Duane Kuiper's nose. He's pulled back and knocked to ground--in response, Giants tarp off Billy Beane, John Fisher and San Jose Fairmont Hotel.

*The Chronicle's Bruce Jenkins eats LA Dodger, Juan Uribe. Disturbing.

*Eric "Byrnesie" Byrnes chomps down on "Salty." Dude!

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  1. HAHAH thank you for my 15 minutes of Fame, this is Neal and while I am a fellow comrade of Stan on the Cohn Zone, am happy that Stan did eat Tim Kawakami, as he has baned me from his Merc blog, TK can't take much heat, the only thing I said to him, is to stick with basketball, because his hockey knowledge is next to nothing when he writes about the Sharks and I have stop listenning to KNBR a very long time ago, infomercial for the Giants and too many big fat blowhole ego maniacs with not much talent, other then Bruce.

    1. To be fair the Giants/KNBR relationship is a win win for both organizations. The Giants get unprecidented coverage and KNBR's listenership soars. All bay area sports teams and radio stations wish they could have that deal!

      Many get a kick out of ripping the morning show but I have to say Murph's interviews are the best on the station in my view.

      Paulie's soundboard could blow up and it would not be missed by me on the other hand!

    2. This is Neal, I have no idea what Paulie does, he does not offer much, was not in Love with Murp, when i was listenning to the show, his interviews can be painful especially with Harbaugh, I wish Ted Robinson was doing the interviewing instead of Murp, also when Murp starts asking Romo about his kids or asked a guest what his Mom's signature dish was, I just turned the station off, Bruce is the best, the other's really suck, Tolbert can't ask a question under a 1000 words, Byrnes is from another planet, Fatnich has not followed sports in a darn long time, that is why I have stopped listenning, thank God ralph was canned, he added nothing, he sounded like a intern to Tolbert, thank goodness no more Amichi's pizza, truly horrible pizza, except for Ralph

  2. He tasted like Pork. Sold most of the left over to Butcher Boy..

  3. Any truth to the rumor that the photo illustration is of Lew Dickey, gleefully chowing down on the corpses of recently deceased Cumulus Media acquisitions?

  4. A Stan mention, wow. I love reading Stan, he's the reason I come over here.

  5. "**Justine Waldman gets positively swallowed by Darya Folsom. "

    Must concentrate on clean thoughts! Clean thoughts! Must resist! :)

  6. Any scenario where a zombie makes Stan eat his own words (will tune in for that!)

  7. What makes me a Zombie?...The Kars for Kids song,the idiotic Amco commercials,the stupid Geico Pig,and now a new one...the little girl who sings the national anthem like she's never perfomed before but really sounds like another polished kid actor.

    What ever happened to the cartoon HAMMS bear? now THAT was advertising!