You envy my power--you are deluged with praise and guile and moxie for having made the domain of my 415 Media, but it wasn't about your face, your body, your dreams about me, all the necessary and unnecessary drama. You made it because I liked you. Dare try to seduce me with a wink and a cold one at Sam's, for instance, and you'll lose me forever.
Never seduce a blogger. It won't work.
You may tell me your dreams. You can chart your career aspirations, your path to what you deem, "professional success", whatever, and that's fine. We all have goals. But keep it straight, honey. Any sweet nothings or illusions about me otherwise? See Ya, gotta go.
All of you hotties have secret crushes. Stand in line--they all do. That's not why I signed up for this gig. You need me more than I need you. My fourth wife, Sheila Cornucopia, a waitress at the Emeryville Denny's, (until she landed at the overnight at the infomercial station), blunted stated to me that I was a no-good son-of-a-bitch sleeping with the enemy, (PIX, perhaps, at the time--I dunno), but I told her flat out she was wrong. I still love her, but she's gone, hopelessly lost at a Toledo outlet doing dog and cat stories and wishing she was on the inside at TVSpy. She'll get it someday.
There's a lesson here. I don't play ball that way. Love and passion? Sure, but ladies in the biz know what I'm made of and being a piece of meat is not on the "to-do" list. Get it, sister? I'm not your bloggerlissious, your dream nor desire--I'm here to do a job and if you so chance to make it on my list, then congratulations, you did good, kiddo and it'll show up on your resume and you can add it to your LinkedIn account. You may even be the next Darya Folsom. But you'll have to work at it. WORK, ever heard of that? You want the truth? THAT's the truth. Don't ever, ever try to get me to succumb to your wims that way. Shame on you, sister.
That's about it for now.\
*Follow me on Twitter
It's been awhile since you allowed yourself one of these, but not long enough...please consider that these self-reverential blurts make you sound like a whack job, and take away from the good work on display elsewhere on this site.
ReplyDeleteIf you must do this jive, how about writing an understandable account of what happened ("I was standing at Sam's when a young woman approached me. She bought me a Gimlet and then told me all about her private hopes, fears, and ideas. She was trying to get me to write about her on the site, I decided, so I finished my drink, thanked her, and said good night.") Then maybe expound on some of the themes that the encounter may have raised.
What you have written above sounds like what Radnich would write subconsciously...me Me ME
Couldn't agree with you more.
DeleteOdd ... it simply sounded like delusional rambling from here.
DeleteWhat does Azteca's Ines Sainz have to do with this (besides getting my attention)?
ReplyDeleteThank you for the reference. That's one fine attention getter!
DeleteChris Craft is gonna hate this one..
ReplyDeleteYour full of crap. Your a GOD DAMN BLOGGER. You carry no weight. The post you do like this show who you really are. Some lonely wierdo with out a real, paying job
ReplyDeleteHey Copie, get a life!!
DeleteCopie? I'm at work... killing time. My life resumes at 4:30 when the work day is over.
DeleteThat was a tough call to make, Rich, publishing that piece, but you and I both know it had to be done.
ReplyDeleteA blogger gets a lot of action. That much is known. What is not spoken of freely is what happens after a blog is published.
I'm speaking about the dark side of blogging. The soft, white underbelly of the beast. White, but dark. Kind of tan. Khaki, really. It doesn't matter. The point is, a blogger cannot possibly meet the demands of all his supplicants. Yet, their insatiable appetite must be fed. And where do they go to tame their demon passions? That's right: comment writers.
For far too long now, I have provided such nourishment in the shadow of 415. A 408, if you will, much like KNTV is to KGO.
My opening move was as simple as it was brilliant. First, locate a young nubile fawning over her laptop. Invariably, she would be reading 415, lost in her bloggerlicious fantasy.
"Hiya, toots," I would say, rousing her from her idle fancies. For purposes of time, we will skip over the obligatory verbal foreplay, punctuated by phrases such as, "beat it, creep," "does security know you are here," and "I have a restraining order," and get right to the heart of the matter in which I disclose that I am, in fact, her favorite writer of comments.
"You? You're Anonymous?" Her eyes would light up like the beacon from a CHP cruiser shining in your rear view mirror at 2 in the morning, bloodshot red and reeking of danger.
Night after night. Day after day. It was fun while it lasted but I need a rest. So, good on you, Rich Lieberman, for telling it like it is. May you find the peace that eludes you. As for me, I'll taper off slowly. Maybe a phone call to Ronn, maybe a witty quip on Facebook. But I shall always remember the Glory Days when I was...
Anonymous
a few too many cold ones today, Rich?
ReplyDelete...ok? Hey, I'll read anything that ISN'T about KGO
ReplyDeleteI'd like to find a Bay Area Media site similar to www.dcrtv.com Is there one?
ReplyDeleteIsn't She hot...She must see something in you or your blogging which I have not seen yet or it's a set up from your opposing forces in an attempt to silence or further discredit you. It's anyone's guess.
ReplyDeleteAnon 2:56 Anne Makovec, that you?
ReplyDeleteEeeeeeech!
ReplyDeleteI can't tell if you had a spark of creativity that you couldn't resist sharing or if you are serious and have a mood issue, but we all like you one way or the other. I personally like you best when you talk about media. This other stuff confuses me and kind of freaks me out.
ReplyDeleteHa! I'm with you there. I was a bit thrown myself. But hell, it is HIS blog.
DeleteRich, What is the current status of Gene Burns? Will we ever hear him again? It's really been a long time.
ReplyDeleteReply
From a female reader: ????????
ReplyDeleteFor the sake of the Super Being, Rich - at least spell this rambling shit correctly.
ReplyDeleteIt's "whims" not "wims" you twit.
What's the frequency, Kenneth??
ReplyDeleteThanks for the memory, pal!
DeleteSincerely,
Dan Rather
HD Net
Dallas, TX
Oy vey, Rich, already!
ReplyDeleteI didn't know you had SO much going on! Honestly, personally, me? I was just attracted to your hat ... (wasn't thinking all that much about you, particularly) ... but now that you mention it, I guess you could be considered a "good catch", of sorts. (Not sure what kind of catch that would be ... like "catching" a cold? Or something similar? Just kidding).
I'm guessing the way to your heart is through your brain, or possibly your stomach; maybe your imagination. It was funny to read of your travails in thwarting away the babes ... all fluff and no substance, huh? (Seriously, though, was your ex REALLY named "Cornucopia"!? That'd be a hard act for any woman to follow).
So you're overwhelmed with (not so) secret crushes and long lines waiting to brush shoulders with you, huh? Considering that last birthday you had, that's not too bad. (And here you were, worrying about entering your mid-century and all). If you REALLY want to whisk them away, my advice is, change your hat. It must have made you look too alluring, debonaire, someone like a Humphrey Bogart or Cary Grant - way too romantically mysterious and enticing. What woman could resist a Fedora?
So! No, what you really need to wear is probably something more like this .... (I can't copy the picture, so you'll need to go to the link ....)
http://ak.buy.com/PI/0/500/224326771.jpg
I guarantee, THAT should garnish an altogether different response! (And I do mean "garnish" ....) Just a little piece of helpful advice .... You could call it your "thinking cap", that you can't do without in order to write (even in the hottest of summer days). I'm CERTAIN you would never be regarded in the same way again. If you're serious about this, of course. The message would be clear, however - that either you regard THEM as a turkey, or they should regard you as one.
Glad I could help. Pass the cranberries, please!
Oh, yeah! That gets it! Hope we'll see a replay of this for Thanksgiving. Heartwarming shit!
Deletewell this entry from this wack job should seal it. Can we all just delete this jerk from the favorites bar?
ReplyDelete(Clearly, I chose the wrong profession. Does it work both ways? Do female bloggers develop this same "affliction"? Where can I sign up?)
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't look like he is dressed for a TV on camera interview. Ines Sainz looks like she is dressed to work a night at the Moonlight Bunnyranch, turning tricks at 500 dollars a pop.
ReplyDeleteRichie please don't give up the day job. You're not Herb Cain.
ReplyDelete