Tuesday, August 23, 2011

A fly inside the Press Box Tuesday Night at AT&T Park Reports:

*Bruce Jenkins is secretly planning his 3500th article on ex-Giant, Juan Uribe, as a "disturbed man" because he signed with the Dodgers.

*Ratto just removed his sweater.

*Damon Bruce is sitting next to Martie Lurie and thus, contemplating his future position to cure cancer.

*Andrew Baggerly is on the phone with a ESPN/Fresno radio show plugging the book so 10 more people can buy it.

*Greg Papa told Hank Schulman that JaMarcus Russell could soon pan out with another NFL team.

*Amy G is hovering below the scribblers in deep thought with Comcast producers yelling, "Hey, it's 'Italian Heritage night' and Ratto refuses to do a quickie with me!"

*Murph and Mac absolutely destroy the complimentary hot dogs before Ratto can seize the last one.

*Larry Krueger just texted Bob Agnew: "Hey, you son-of-a-bitch--who's laughing now?!"

*Larry Baer mysteriously huddling with Gwen Knapp, (alert the interns!)

*Dave Benz writing 400x on blank white paper: "Mom, how did I get this gig? I'm pinching myself!"

*Marty quickly tells Damon that the Giants "better hit." Damon agrees.

*Lowell Cohn and Glenn Dickey arguing feverishly with Art Spander over the best Cabernet in Oakland.

*Ryan Leong telling the entire Press Box throng: "Will you guys shut the hell up!--I have a fucking update!"

15 comments:

  1. Jesus H, you're an angry old fuck. I'm looking for the humor, but all I read is more pathetic, sexist and bitter rants from a self-important talentless loser. Start off with a dis on Jenkins? Just sad....

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  2. What's the over/under on the number of times Ratto will say "wretched"?

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  3. @9:16 I see Damon was here tonight.

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  4. LOL Cohn and Dickey's obsession with whine.

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  5. Very Funny!
    Thanks

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  6. How much does Damon Bruce dislike his own KNBR's morning show? He spent today using or playing with 95.7's mornig shows Dan Dibb's trademark " Put your name on it" said in the same urban Dibbs accent..if a red headed white guy who weighs 104 pounds can sound urban that is.
    Its pretty obvious moral at KNBR is lousy..Bruce even gave a shot to Krueger for taking days off. I guess Damon see's the TV morning show as great pub and Larry is ..for Larry. A week off when he just started there? KNBR must use vacation time in lieu of competitive pay. "Let'em take a week off,Ray needs work" Figures Hammer.

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  7. to be noted: rich looking forlornly at the press box, wishing he was there, scribbling furious notes while stuffing his face with nacho cheese

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  8. Speaking of Damon...the whole problem of "The Blitz" on Comcast? they pick old buddys. Ann and Ray mix it up? fat chance. Kawakami,put in place by Barry Tompkins? uhuh..as in never.
    A huge ego like Damon..pitted against a 95.7 pserson like...Dibbs? that could be fireworks. Papa and Fitz? nuclear war..ratings through the roof.
    Like ESPN,A Skipp Bayless lives to show how smart he is because he doesn't give a damn about an ex athlete or pretty boy.

    Comcast wants to be edgy....then de- claws,neuters,spays,gives anesthesia to everything they do.
    They cant have their cake and..it dont work that way.

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  9. More-D.Bruce was Deadspinned...then D.S. backed down because Bruce found a loophole.He was only asking for PROFILING,not RACIAL PROFILING!...lol. And Damon and KNBR are bragging they showed Deadspin a thing or two.
    Damon,your rants from Jeremy Lin to George Lopez are tinged with racism. And your putdowns of the bay areas sport love vs the midwest..YOU are the fish out of water here,my man. And tho' you pontificate like you have it down pat about life..I know in many ways you dont have a clue.
    the masked
    "S"

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  10. and-more D Bruce meglomania. He announced that "Matt Maiocco is dead to the station" and repeated that. Does Matt know that? btw,I did wait for him to explain the "joke"?..never heard a thing. Anybody?

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  11. 10:03 What racist thing did he say about Jeremy Lin?, you bring it up often. thanks

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  12. 1054...He's said that Lin was kept on the team to appease the Asian fans. Also,the first thing he brought up when he last interviewed Larry Riley was why does the team carry Jeremy Lin!...of all that teams problems,Bruce focuses on Lin?? Can you name a single other Warrior 2 or 3 stringer (4th?lol) that Bruce has ever ranted about over and over?
    Now that seems like profiling to me...No ,he doesn't imitate Lin by saying chingy chongy if thats what you need to hear to think somebody has a bias.But,its clear he has a bug for Lin. And it has to do with Lin being Asian.

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  13. I think Bruce was trying to get someone on the W's to admit why Lin made the team. I can count on one hand the number of people who think he was there on merit.

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  14. And why Frank is it that important,its the FIRST thing you bring up to Riley? Again,many players come and go...Why Beidrich? To make Europeans happy? No,the Warriors think that stiff has a place....
    No Bruce doesnt call Lin a ricer,no fire him now words..but Bruce has a problem to say he's there to make Asians happy. Thats his Xenophobe in him.

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  15. anon 6:20
    you are either really thin-skinned or willfully ignorant. comparing andres beidrich, a top 10 nba center (before the last 2 years) to lin?

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