Setting the record straight: who I am, what I do and a little life story; a blogger comes clean, (sort of)

I had an epiphany.

It hit me pretty good and hard last night; well, not just last night, but truthfully, the better part of the last few years.

I'm dealing with an extra-large assortment of issues, both personally and professionally. Most of it is trivial compared too all the hurt that is affecting all of us out there in a world that is becoming more un-kind every day.

I thought the last thing anyone of you could or would really not give a damn about my personal life, but after a lot of thinking, I thought by opening up and coming clean, I'd at least feel better and hope something useful could come out of this.

Bear with me now; this is all going to make sense. I promise.

I have hurt a lot of people lately, myself included. I have let down a lot of people that thought I was better than that and I am. If it weren't for the fact that I myself, was hurting, perhaps I would not write this and move on to the next mundane media item of the day and conceal my own inner demons.

Before writing this blog, I was in another business. Early in my life, I worked in radio here in SF, but soon left for personal reasons. For the better part of 23 years, I worked in sales. I sold cars. And I was good and managed to work at one dealer for almost 18 years and 5 years at another. Like everything and everybody else in the world, my life changed in Sept. of 2008. The automotive business went to -hits and the economy began behaving badly. Both of the stores I worked at closed. Soon, I was out of work and benefits too.

I began trying desperately to look for work. I was searching, seeking, reaching out if you will. In the meantime, a good friend advised me to continue to write this; be patient, be positive, things will work out. And they did, sporadically, but as of today, nothing has changed. I manage to put out some decent content a few times daily while I deal with looking for work.

This site has sponsors and quite frankly, while they are loyal, their support alone does not pay my bills. Again, bear with me...

Having this hurt and writing sometimes critical and often, perhaps, perceived, hurtful commentary made me re-think my mission; that's a big word and I'm not trying to be pretentious; I'm very serious about it.

There are people out there and media organizations that have been the recipient of my ridicule. I have tried feverishly NOT to make it personal, but when you write about individual people and the brunt of your critiques are directed at a certain guy and/or media company, then the natural conclusion is to feel this guy has an agenda; he only rips, he's got some pent-up anger, etc, etc.

Indeed, yes, I have taken shots at some people and some media companies, and while I can say, honestly, that nothing was intended to be personal, I acknowledge that what I wrote had a lot of venom attached to it. For that, I'm truly sorry and I feel bad about any harm, personal and/or professional I may have caused.

Those of you who know me, and even those of you who don't, (to a degree) know that I'm a decent person with a heavy heart and good intentions. If I could change my evil ways, (occasionally) then I suppose I'd do something far more worldly and quit doing this. Maybe volunteer more. Walk around the lake. Breathe fresh air and getaway from computers. But for now, I can't, so I try to move and and be creative and cleanse the soul. (I'm beginning to sound like Dr. Phil, I know)

I've been particularly hard on Gary Radnich of KNBR/KRON and KRON itself. I don't have a grudge against KRON or Gary, or anything or anyone for that matter. Well, maybe one of two.

I've written very critical 'stuff about Gary, but none of it has been personal. All in the up and up, nevertheless, after a bit of soul-searching, maybe I was too hard. Gary is a very decent person who I met when he first came to SF in the mid-80's. We were good friends. He seriously still makes me laugh; at times I literally have had to pull over on the road because I was laughing too hard; he's still at the top of his game--like all of us, he has some off days and I riffed him on that, but I also made a mistake too.

I had concluded, (wrongly) that another on-air talent was being groomed and was set to take his spot. I erred, (never again rely on one source) and felt bad about it.
In any event, all the while, I ripped, I still listen and hope that matter can be put aside.

And then we have KRON.

I have railed against the management of the company that owns KRON because having grown up in the Bay Area, I know first hand how truly this once-mighty TV station on Van Ness, was such an institution, both in the business, and a part of SF lore, a la Herb Caen.

I don't have ANYTHING against KRON. Nada. Nothing.

I can honestly say that my venom is/was directed at management and their treatment of the news staff over there, some of whom are my friends. That's it. Did I go a bit overboard? Perhaps, and if so, my bad--again, nothing personal. Hell, I have a ton of baggage, but I'm dealing with that every day. Nobody is perfect. Mother Theresa, I'm sure, may have ticked someone off, who knows.

I believe in the old adage, "treat people the way YOU want to be treated". I do. Some folks revel in hurting people and purposely creating angst and anxiety. That's not my game. Never. I'm not suggesting I'm a saint, but most people seem to like me. (Like you give a damn.)

The mere notion of being critical and making wise cracks about individual people MAKES it personal, and there, I'm sort of screwed. For example, Brian Murphy of the KNBR morning show is a very nice guy. We met once. He lives in my hood and we have exchanged a few moments. I'm not a big fan of the KNBR morning show, (and a few others) but Brian is a decent guy and I explained to him, (awkwardly) the whole, "hey, I like you, but not a fan of the show", something like that. Hey, not everyone likes me or this blog; I get it, but I myself, sometimes, take it personally. I don't like getting ripped, but I know its a part of the game. If you dish it out, be prepared to take it in too. I've got thick skin.

I'm still going to be critical and still try to be fair-minded about what I write about and the people/personalities/media figures, all of 'em. I don't like writing gossip. I try hard to get it right. I DO NOT make things up and spread false information and innuendo. There are those in this forkacta world who make a healthy living doing that. They thrive on people's misery, whether it has to do with who they are sleeping with or whether their expense account was used to pay for a hooker. Not my game. And believe me, I've heard everything. Some of it is true, some of it is not.

I wanted this out and ask those of you who want items and other related media minutiae to give me a mulligan for today. You are my loyal readers, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support, your kind words, your positive and even un-positive feedback. Without you, I have nothing. Seriously. Thank you.

And to those of you that I have been less than complimentary; those of you who know me and like me, and even those of you that detest me, (and still will) all I can say is that I will work very hard to convey to you that there is no agenda, no anger missive intended. This is business. That's how I view it.

Like I said, I'm on edge. The world is too. Those that have a roof over their head and a paycheck, even those guys, they're scared too. We all fret that look from the boss that portends trouble. You can see and feel it.

Pardon my occasional jumbled syntax. This had to get out and the mere fact it is makes me feel a whole lot better. In fact, I think I'm going to go take a good walk again outside and see the blue sky.

Amen.

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**TIPS are encouraged. I will check them out and get back to you. My e-mail is rich.lieberman@gmail.com