Wednesday, December 11, 2013

My Year-End Greetings and Blunt Assertions To Bay Area Media Schmuckos; Happy Holidays

 Reality continued to kick in as all of you schmuckos did what you do so well: yap away endlessly like a bunch of over hyped brunettes in Burlingame with beehive hairdos --don't forget your smartphone too...I've discovered that smartphones are, in reality, a great metaphor for guys who can't get any. See them at the bar texting away and away and away--they're like zombies. Touching themselves really which explains their sexual frustration. Sext this!
 
 
Hey, people: we're in a collective funk. We lost yesterday. Have you seen or listened to our culture? We were led to believe that the Bay Area was different from the rest of the country. They were the sad sacks. We were unique. We were original. We were innovators--they still cooked with crockpots. What the hell happened? It's a combination of things. TO be quite BLUNT, it's all your fault: YOU, all of you, less the tireless ones, the still talented and untainted sacred ones who show up and do a decent day's work and are largely devoid of the schmuckos polluting our airwaves and sounding and looking as if they just got rescued out of Des Moines.
 
**Ronnnnnnn Owens, such a sad sack. Maybe it's time for another hour on cell phones and gadgets--then Copie can come in and plug his new oasis: Not a Genuine Funny Man. Speaking of Copie, I hear HBO has been scouting the area looking for the next Byron Allen.
 
**Brian Murphy: Part of the delicious and lovely alleged "air talent" frat boys on Knibber morning: hey, dude, many, many years ago, around 1991, to be exact, it was considered un-cool, dude, in light of the Gulf War, then Afghanistan, then 9/11, to refer to home runs as "Bombs"--Murphy apparently didn't get the memo. In addition to his other on-air irritation, Murphy still uses the bomb vernacular; in fact this morning while speaking with Kruk, Murph uttered bomb about twenty times. It was halfway tolerable until the inevitable UCLA/pop culture/obscure movie/Marin/preppy/asshole references Murph concocted but as long as he can kiss the Hammer ass and Powlie's soundboard, he's got lifetime security and forever tee time at Olympic Club, dude!
 
**Eric Byrnes: You're just kidding right? Somebody has to have given you pictures.
 
**Karel: Oh hell, it would just be like pilling on. Too easy. Your honor, the defense rests.
 
**Chef Ryan Scott: Who are YOU? Where did you come from? What master beast at 55 Hawthorne fettered you onto our airwaves? You sound like a damn red-bull infested tourist at the novelty store on Pier 39. I know a few things about SF restaurants, dude and you're not one of them. Have you ever eaten at Tadich? Sam's? John's? Or is all you ever made up is a state of constant Hard Rock Café. I say the latter, dude, and by the way, you sound like shit. But that's a virtue over at the Cloud company.
 
**Maureen Langan: I'm dreaming, right? Who the hell hired this broad? Sounds like someone I'd meet at a bar in Fremont about 1: 45 in the morning, my luck. Yackity yenta with nothing to say, nothing to offer, a wet fish with a stinking head, embarrassing, but again, works cheap and the cloud folks are happy to oblige.
 
**Kate Scott: I still don't get it. Wait, I do. She's female. Doesn't say much at all, nothing really. And when she does say something, we're supposed to sit back and listen in awe as if this nothing yenta reinvented the wheel. Why? Oh cause she's that? Dude! Scott? I'd rather go to a strip mall in Fremont than listen to this innocuous/nothing who has the soul of some used Earth shoes from Ross.
 
 
**Stan Bunger: Stan used to have a pulse, a sense of "sincerity", a smidgen of relativity until time took over and now Stan is part Steve Bitker, other part Monte Hall. Stan, get a pie chart on pop culture, circa 2004, and get back to us.
 
**Steve Bitker: look up the word, "pompous."
 
**Tim Kawakami: see above.
 
**Debra Saunders: see above
 
**Ray Ratto: Have a cheeseburger and smile. It's OK. We'll forgive you.

**Tom Tolbert: Maybe another betting reference and Arizona story. Change the itinerary. And would it kill you to wear a suit every now and then? Maybe David Stern was right.

**Gary Radnich: Texas is in the South. Geography class.

**Aaron Pero: Get a grip. No, not there.

**Dan Rosenheim: You took the KRON and elevated it to KPIX. Congratulations. They still can't stand you.

**KTVU: I still can't believe it. And the one who read the stinking thing is STILL working. (LOL)

**NBC Bay Area "Investigative Unit": Like, uh, what?

**CSNBA "Insiders:" Really now? Like uh, what? Including the Jeopardy guy who still thinks it's cool to wear sun glasses at night in a press box.

**Melanie Collins: Open wide.

**Darya Folsom: At least Erin Burnett has a brain.

**Claudine Wong: Did you ever date Maury Povich?

**Damon Bruce: Hope you're renting.

**Me: Wasting a good burnt bagel with my Peets over all of you who aren't worth the time and effort, really, don't flatter yourselves, I'm the only fucking guy that writes about all you sick, oversized, inflated, coke-sniffing assholes otherwise you'd be reduced to nothing which is really what all you are; a bunch of nothings that largely got rewarded because you slept with some loser who was dumb enough to pay off student loans and thinks American Idol is a documentary.

**Wayne Freedman: Supreme schmucko: Freedy, I don't need lectures. I love the fact you read me every day--they all do but if you're going to call and kvetch and lecture, call your boss and ask why she's suddenly got a 'tude too.

**Tom Vacar: Yo Tommy, you're not Ted Koppel for god's sake; you do good work but truth be told, if they could, they'd fire your ass but they're scared as shit that you're a lawyer.

**Brent Jones: As long as you keep buying time you have an audience.

**Larry Baer: thinks he's the Nelson Mandela of sports. Really, I'm not kidding.

**Scott Ostler: While you can write the ego is beginning to loom larger than Tahoe. Maybe you and Kawakami should have some after-dinner mints.

**Ann Killion: crickets, still.  (Damon Bruce)

**Baggarly Part 2: Is it true you have a Target Gold card?

**Henry Wofford: "HAA , HAA HAAA, HA HA...Coach!" -Hired.

**Cumulus SF Sales Dept: You sheep.


**Cumulus interns: Great updates!

**Lee Hammer: It was nice seeing you at Jersey Boys. How were the burgers at the Daily Grill?

**Jason Barrett: Hope you're renting too.
 **Follow me on Twitter
 

48 comments:

  1. Spot on on Copie and his ridiculously slanted politics...fyi....the one's you hate so much freed your people while the ones you love so much fought against it....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brian Copeland does not have slanted politics, he has fairly liberal politics on some issues, and he often has a different take on things, I think it is nice to have a black persons perspective on things, I also like his 3rd hour, comedians take on the news, especially when he has Will Durst on, but other comedians he has on is quite funny. I don't know why Rich has so must against Brian, he is not Gene Burns or John Rothman, but there is really no one in the Bay Area who are close to those 2, and giving what is on the airwaves these day I think Copie is quite good.

      Delete
    2. I agree with everything you posted.

      Delete
  2. At least Henry Tenebaum was spared from the list!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey Rich, I am really amazed that you are in such a good mood today.
    Usually you're grumpy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perfect, 10:55 AM!

      So much vitriol without substance in one place. Really, Rich we expect more.

      Wayne Freedman is a wonderful reporter and a take-no-prisonors kind of guy. Whatever did you do to piss HIM off? Not a good move, Rich, not a good move.

      And why all the slams against Fremont today? Obviously, you've never been to Niles.

      Delete
  4. I always wondered if Kawakami was what you said he is due to my dealing with him once.

    ReplyDelete
  5. There were a lot of people spared, Rich! I guess you like them? Rich Walcoff, Gil Gross, Pat Thurston, Frosty, Tim Monty, Armstrong and Getty, the rest of KNBR and others! Is there anyone on worth talking about? Bring back Gene Burns in his current state! It's better than the alternative. Bernie Ward anyone? And the people responsible for Ryan Scott and Maureen Hangin are both gone, I believe. The one a former News Director and the other an errand Boy. Someone call Obama because we need CHANGE!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I was surprised that so many talk show hosts that Rich have written about in the past was not on his list, certainly Gil, Frosty and other should be mentioned, being it negative or positive. Heard Gil promote the new line up at 910 come January, it is not very promising, it is as follows: Armstrong and Getty 6 to 10 a.m. I like them at times, mostly because other alternatives at that hour are few, unless you get a kick out of Glenn Beck and his bizarre analysis of current events, but 4 hours, please. Then Frosty for 3 hours, then Randy Rhodes for 2 hours, at least she is intelligent and has some very good points, after Randy it is guess who? Gil Gross for 4 hours, 4 hours of Gil is worse than 4 hours of Armstrong and Getty, I still want to know who in the hell listen to Gil for 4 hours and Frosty for 3, just pathetic, in a town that use to boast of Gene Burns, Pete Wilson and John Rothmann. Where have all the flowers gone?????

      Delete
  6. Rich, where's your mention of the horrible talent at KSFO?
    Sussman and his lame side-kick, Katy-Who? Barbra Simpson with her selfish, compassion-less holier than thou attitude. Just read her hate-filled writings at WorldNutDaily and the even more hateful Comments that follow: http://www.wnd.com/author/bsimpson/.

    We lose absolutely everything at KGO...
    but truly inferior KSFO goes on forever!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is all about the ratings and how much it costs to run the station. KSFO has/had more syndicated programming the KGO had, which is/was less expensive to put on the air. KGO had local talent, for which they were absorbing the full talent salary plus production costs (maintaining the studio, the infrastructure and production staff). That is expensive to keep up, especially with the eroding ratings they were seeing. I miss the old KGO, too. However, they made some bad decisions when ratings were starting to fall that didn't work. That led to the more radical changes that also didn't really work.

      Delete
    2. To 4:50,
      Why is it easier to be a Conservative than a Liberal?
      Because it’s so much easier to give people the Finger than to offer a Helping Hand.

      Delete
  7. Rich, I don't get the constant Claudine bashing. I think she does a pretty good job. She isn't pretentious, just basic who/what/where/when and why news, which is really all I want. You like tout Janelle, that I think is terribly awkward, to the point I have to turn it off.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Me thinks Rich has been to Fremont once to many times

    ReplyDelete
  9. This could become a beloved Bay Area tradition: The Lieberman Year-End F-U's.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That made me laugh. Make it so, Rich!

      Delete
  10. **Aaron Pero, Stacey Baier, Brian Greif: All of your staffers are leaving because you treat them like shit. Stop micromanaging and abusing and start appreciating and respecting the people you force to work way harder than they should

    **MediaGeneral: Do the right thing and fire these clowns ASAP

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They don't care because they're not in the business to be most efficient or do the best job. To give an analogy, the concentration camps of World War II weren't run efficiently. They were set up the way they were and staffed with the people they were staffed with because those sick bastards enjoyed inflicting pain and horror on innocents and watching the reaction. The so-called "Final Solution" cost a tremendous amount of money, but honestly no one cared because, to be blunt about it, they were having too much fun.

      The same is true with most of the Bay Area media outlets today. They enjoy the terrorizing, the "badness." Doing a good job--or seeing others do one--doesn't enter into it. The psycho-sexual rush they get from power is what propels them--just like the sadistic guards and camp commanders who "vere only followink orders." Lots of people are in the positions they are in for that reason and it's sad. There should be more psychological studies abut things like that, but it's both so obvious and so repugnant that most people don't want to admit it's a widespread epidemic.

      Delete
    2. Anon at 4;42...a fantastic post, and it seems you too have worked in the media to post such with such great observations. Again, bravo, and it begs the question what is happening to us as a society that the working conditions that you mentioned are considered the norm, and worse, expected.

      Delete
    3. I did work. For 13 years. Got out. I thought about writing a book about the things I observed but I figured no one would either believe me or care, since TV news, and especially local news, is becoming more irrelevant every day. But if I did, one chapter I really wanted to do was "We Really Turned This Newsroom Around." It would be about the day the new Young Broadcasting bozos took over. One of the first things they did--swear to God--was to redo the layout of the newsroom. They moved the assignment desk to the opposite side, turned all the desks and chairs around to face the other way! There was/is no advantage to this move; they just did it! But it gets better. They didn't want any of this to be obvious to viewers watching. Now, you'll recall at the time KRON had a transparent background behind the anchors where you'd see the staff working, through a glass.

      They got video cameras before they started the move and made a long video loop of people working. Then they moved the anchor desk upstairs and projected this video background behind the anchors so that to the viewers at home things looked the same, while they were remodeling downstairs, turning everything to face the other way. So think about this: during unprecedented budget cuts and layoffs, they spent lots of money faking a look on a new set that was identical to the real look on the original set, which they could have kept for free. In other words, they spent all this money and to the people at home none of it looked any different! Which begs the question why'd they do it in the first place? To this day no one knows the answer.

      Oh, the project apparently ran out of money, because they never really finished the downstairs newsroom. To this day there are areas with no ceiling tiles, and wires and cables that are supposed to be neatly tied up and out of place hang down from the rafters. There are sections--visible occasionally when they do a live newsroom shot and the camera pans around a bit too far--where they never finished working. You just have piles of old chairs and desks and cubicle walls in a dark corner. Since KRON's staff is now a tiny fraction of what it was in 2002, you don't need most of the desks and chairs anymore so they're just in a pile off to the side of the half-abandoned room.

      This was the first "improvement" project Young Broadcasting embarked on when they bought the station. They didn't do anything useful, like upgrade dilapidated equipment. (Some directors at KRON also teach at community colleges to round out their income, and they say the student equipment is more modern than KRON's real equipment.) They didn't maintain the vans, which break on the way to a story. When this happens, they fire the produce whose shift if happened on even though that person has nothing to do with it. When someone complained once because the back fell off their chair (it was at least 20 years old), an assistant ND threw said chair at the producer's face, barely missing her. Yep, insane people all right. And they'd tell you "Tough shit, that's the way it is. If you don't like it, quit." Which is why so many people, even in these tough times, have.

      Delete
  11. Someone should investigate NBC's Investigative Unit. They're stealing money and jobs. A couple of them do one story maybe two a month.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yea, but they're actually worth watching.

      Delete
  12. this "rant" is soooooo weak. if you're going to rip people, can you at least give us something that you haven't said at least a million times? especially if you're going to warn us ahead of time that a grand ripping is coming. that said, kawakami is definitely a pompous ass.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Kate Scott is really beyond awful. I seriously cannot stand her pseudo-intellectual opinions on anything. I'm sure she's a nice person, but that format is not a fit for her. She just sounds contrived. I think she's trying (and failing) to be one of those NFL Network or ESPN women.

    Murph and Mac are the absolute worst. There's nothing coming out of that show but soft, weak, GARBAGE. Murph always with the UCLA, everything with the UCLA! What, you couldn't get into USC?

    I'm surprised you didn't mention Laurie Roberts on KFOX. She is really just grating. I bet she knows someone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agree about Kate Scott for the most part. She may be talented, but we will never find out in that format. Radnich and Krueger dominate the air time. I also agree on Murph. The UCLA references are approaching the arrogant Notre Dame mentions of Fitz. As Radnich would say, "nobody cares!" I think I'm ready to leave Murph behind and listen to John Feinstein.

      Delete
  14. Hey Dick:

    Did you see this in the Chronicle today?

    http://blog.sfgate.com/matierandross/2013/12/11/ktvu-airs-special-to-make-amends-for-asiana-gaffe/

    Love to hear your take on this...

    ReplyDelete
  15. I used to listen to Ronn Owens, so I know who he is. Most of the people on your list, however, I have no idea who they are. I've totally stopped listening/watching Bay Area media. It's just too vapid ... and I'm not that bright!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So, you don't watch or listen to Bay Area media, yet you read and comment on a blog about Bay Area media. Yeah, that makes sense.

      Delete
  16. No more rip jobs from Rich on that self-inflated, know-it-all Tim 'Monte-Manure.' He managed to finagle some radio station in Salt Lake City into giving him a full time job there a few months ago. That's the perfect sized town and the right demographic for 'Monty.'

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm shocked! Rich kept Jenkins & Fitz off the list today!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Disagree with comparing Claudine Wong to Connie Chung... Claudine has a terrific smile and, when given a chance, comes across as fun and real. Connie has always come across as cunning and ambitious, not unlike her husband, the lowlife, freak show impresario.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Leave Darya alone lol She is my only guilty pleasure. There is no one here in the Sacramento market worth getting up for... Otherwise I like the venom

    ReplyDelete
  20. I don't want to sound like a dopey neanderthal like the awful blowhard Damon Bruce - - but Kate Scott solo is terrible, and it has nothing to do with her being a woman. It has to do with her being woefully ill-informed, completely pedestrian, bad at interviews and an unrepentant Bay Area homer. Oh, but she did do a stellar job with the Adam Meyer gambling segment....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pedestrian is the correct definition of Kate Scott. "There is no there there." She reads the morning Chronicle, then authoritatively states the obvious. She does not have an original thought. Some gush over the girl who stands up to Gary, but she knows she is barely faking the whole act. Kate will not make it big time. Soccer sideline reporting on Comcast will be her highest media job.

      Delete
    2. Excellent assessment, 8:43 AM!

      Delete
  21. Hey Rich can you see if Greenwald and Snowden can get us the
    Ralph Barbieri full settlement?

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hey Rich what about Liam Meacalm's buddy Joel Raddel? You know the producer who has taken over the great Gene Burns restaurant program? He is an embarrassment to say the least. Sometimes he even breaks out an English accent like he's trying to be like the Foodie chap. My husband and I saw him on the KQED show Check Please and he was speaking with an English accent! Why do the people in charge think we want to hear English accents here in the Bay Area?

    ReplyDelete
  23. What did you mean by "we lost yesterday"? (Sorry, but I don't live near SF.)

    ReplyDelete
  24. I still hear home runs called bombs on the play-by-play. Now, try shouting that at the TV while you wait at the bar in the airport, that's a whole 'other story.

    ReplyDelete
  25. When Frank and Mike left, that was it for KNBR Morning

    ReplyDelete
  26. Can only imagine how many reader comments Lieberman is censoring after posting this gratuitous vitriol. Think he must have forgotten to take his medication for a couple of days.

    ReplyDelete
  27. One of the bright spots in Bay Area Sports is Jim Barnett. Unfortunately, this season will be his last as he is retiring. He teaches the fundamentals of basketball while he does the color commentary, and he is not stuck in the past but gives insight and sees the potential of today's players.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Couldn't agree with you more on Barnett. He's passionate, knowledgeable, and a great story teller. I never thought I could listen to a broadcast where the insufferable ass-kisser Bob 'Fatty' Fitzgerald was doing his homerish play by play, but Barnett has made the Warriors TV broadcasts palatable. So sorry he'll be retiring after 29 years behind the mike. Now if Warrior ownership could only see the light and fire the insufferable 'Fitz' and bring back someone solid and credible, such as Greg Papa, (who incidentally, was stabbed in the back by the scheming Fitz and his sleazy handler Martin Mandel back in the late 1990s.)

    ReplyDelete
  29. Certainly can't fault the KTVU news anchor. She is reading a breaking bulletin that was handed to her. Very unlikely that she had time to review it... Maybe fault the news people that handed her the story, but very unfair that Rich wants her to be fired for an innocent mistake.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Have to agree about everything written on Kate Scott - nothing more than generic sports takes and Dib's act (Yes, Nobody Cares) from 8 years ago. Even if I was a fan, I wish KNBR would eliminate her position. There are already so many commercials that getting rid of both the sports and traffic updates would make the station a much more listenable. Besides, we already know there is a lot of traffic as well as the scores of yesterday's games. I really like how Mike & Mike just give five or ten quick seconds of news at the beginning of a segment and then jump right back into what they were talking about. KNBR meanwhile has to play the bumper, introduce Kate who then banters with the host. Then Kate tells you who is sponsoring the update followed by 30 seconds of telling us what we already know and then concludes with an exit bumper - it's just a waste of time and usually when I start flipping stations. That being said, I imagine this probably won't change because of the sponsorship money.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Darya has a slammin' body. Let us enjoy it. Sheesh.

    ReplyDelete